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WorD oF MoUtH

16 Jun

*intro music plays* “The Lazy Song”…writer waltzes to center of stage and perfectly choreographs the pelvic region bumping sequence, audience goes nuts! (Pun intended), all scream, some faint, others die, some throw items of inner clothing, writer dodges a measly boxer, WTF?!

*Applause Applause*

Goodevening Ladies and Gentlemen and welcome to your favorite TV programme: “The KevD show” My name is Kevin With an ‘L’ and I shall be your host as usual…So I discovered that I’ve been writing about lots of relationship stuff of recent. This has caused me to question my sanity and check from whence I have fallen. One of the voices in my head tells me its as a result of my present status, I beg to differ though, but that’s gist for another day.
Today, we shall look into the phenomenon of CONVERSATION as it affects dating and relationships! Please note that I am not an authority and most of what I’m saying might be gibberish, I’m under the influence of the torture of listening to Kel attempting to sing abi rap abi moan (I’m not sure sef!)

Moving H’on…

WAIT!!! Before we move, this isn’t an attempt to lay down any rules but then again it is! This isn’t me giving you advise but then again it is…you know what they say about advise..you don’t? I don’t too…

Moving H’on…

WAIT!!! Oh they say “take my advise, I don’t use it anyway!”

Mov… (Yeah, u get it..)

A lot of guys/girls will agree with me when I say that your inability to hold convos is one of the quickest way to end a relationship. Infact many prospective relationships end on the first date because of this problem. So what causes it n how can it be solved? Yes! That is why I’m here, I think…

Point 1. NEVER set a date without having successfully held conversation for at least One hour! Yes! One hour!! Sharrap! I didn’t say you should ga’an buy #1500 credit and burn it like that o..Thank God for things like Midnight calls, wait! Before u will be squeezing your face as if u don’t do it, sharrap! There is no shame in making midnight calls, get your skanky head outta your ass! The thing is a 5 min call isn’t enough to convince yourself that you are ready to sit with someone for 4hours and successfully hold conversation..sadly enough we never prepare for how convos would go…Practice makes PERFECT you first class nitwit!!! A 5 min call doesn’t give you the required confidence..NOTE: I didn’t say CHAT o! I said CALL…

A lot of you think chatting on the phone ie BBM, WhatsApp or 2go (dies!!) Is the same as real talk..but How? Are you really this dumb or aiming for the Olympic gold in dumbness?

This is how a convo goes on let’s say BBM…

Kev: Hi, its finally nice to have u on my BBM
Sexyhawt: lol..
Kev: so tell me about yourself…
Sexyhawt: ah! I don’t know how to answer this question, just ask me anything and I’ll answer…lol
Kev: err..ok…a/s/L?
Sexyhawt: *BBM confused smiley*
Kev: PING!!!
Sexyhawt: brb…

I mean, are you facking kidding me? Age/sex/language in 2011? Oh she’s 15, she’s a MALE and she’s from friggin’ Cambodia speaking english…*sigh* *sips sprite to relax*

*sidedbar* Most guys go from the “tell me about yourself” part to the intimates “tell me about him”, “who’s the lucky guy” line—-> FAIL!!!!

But this does happen! On a 3min call though, it sounds like this:

Kev: Hello…hey! Its me kev, whatsup?
Simi: hey, I’m ok jare…just chilling nuthin much..how was ur day?
Kev: oh! Twas just there..urs?
Simi: well, stayed home, did my laundry. Cooked…the works sha
Kev: oh ok..(Here your brain freezes for 7secs and then you say something STUPID like..)…so nothing much happened today eh?
Again?! Paraphrased? Sheeeshh..DIE!!!

So how then should conversation proceed and be sustained? Remember the golden rule though.

“Be comfortable on PHONE with the person FIRST before agreeing to a date!”

2. Organise your thoughts well before calling, have a goal in mind. Eg a call to check how your day is going, a call to share breaking news, a call to remind of something! Don’t just call because you have credit and end up saying nothing!
Prior to setting a date, dedicate time to getting to KNOW this person..on phone, don’t say “tell me about yourself” ask Specific questions : “how many are u in the family, wat position are u? What do your siblings do? These prolong convos and hidden in them are keys to unlocking other questions that make the conversation interesting..

3. Listen…this is an art! We grow up in life taught how to talk but no one teaches us to listen so majority of peeps don’t know the importance of listening. Listening isn’t silence by the way, its respect!

Listening is different from hearing what a person is saying…for example…when you play an MI cd, you listen to the words he says BUT slot in TerryG and then you can hear all the ‘Tileh Tileh..freeMeNow…’ But you don’t exactly dedicate effort to listen and get meaning. Capisce?

So now u’ve passed the One hour phone test and a date is set, you’re looking all dapper in your starched and ironed TM.Lewin shirt and jeans with your Terre D’Hermes perfume oozing confidence…she’s sexily clad in a lovely short LV black dress and killer heels. Now its time to open your mouth…(Your heart is mashing yam in your chest)…you compliment her (“you’re looking good/Thanks for coming..”)…you pull out her chair (if your sense reach like that)…then you sit and then BAM!!!, You discover all that comes out next is “so tell me about yourself!” Oh! This happens a lot! You know why? Because the foundation wasn’t there..if u have done point 1-3 though, this will be a stroll in the park!

Lemme tell u what I do sha, as a very good bad guy, if I have successfully engaged you in previous convos and we meet, I’ll do my best to make sure you’re the shy one! (Truth is, both parties are shy and nervous at first meet but someone’s gotta have the balls) A good score is to get the other person to LAUGH! Laughter relaxes…I didn’t say you should start reciting Nite of a 1000 laffs o! Just light humor..if it doesn’t come naturally, abeg just park! You should use the One hour phone call to practise.. If you can’t make her laugh steady, you’re not ready!

So, the setting of the date also determines how conversation goes, a dinner date requires more intimate, intellectual communication, informal dates like house visits, movies etc are easier but still require good skills. Rather than say “tell me about yourself”, you could play a game called “tell me who you think I am”…and laugh over the responses..see? Laugh? SCORE! #WINNING
Talk about the location of the date “I hope you like this place/ hope you’re comfortable”, Talk about others, just ensyre you’re both eased in and relaxed.

Basically peeps, there isn’t any set rule to convos, just have genuine interest, laced with humor, be comfy in your own skin (everytime I say this, I always remember Wande coal’s picture) , don’t be forming phoneh when u naturally speak Wizkid (yes its a language, axe somborri)…maintain eye contact (NOT stare!! It shows interest and that you’re listening) and I sad EYE contact NOT BREAST contact, watch body language (topic for another day)…and have fun!
Pls I did NOT say that after you do all of this the girl will not be looking at you like a Mannequin, I only came to share what has worked for me…but then again, I’m the SI unit of charm and elegance so *shrugs*

Err well, now that you’re here..you can still exercise your fundamental human rights,.Click http://www.nigerianblogawards.com/register.php to NOMINATE your fave bloggers at the Nigerian blog awards, (use blog web address). Share on your TL and tell your friends, Nominations end on Friday!

Thanks for reading, the comment section will cater to questions, contributions, rants, other blog posts insults etc…

*picks up that measly Boxer and throws it back to the crowd, gathers the Thongs and bras #winning*

#exit music plays “All I do is Win”*

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95 Comments

Posted by on June 16, 2011 in RantDom

 

95 responses to “WorD oF MoUtH

  1. Okeoghene

    June 16, 2011 at 4:49 am

    LWKMD. I wonder what you will do with the bras and thongs though; wink wink. I really enjoyed reading this and you mentioned many truths and things people have really taken for granted since the advent of social networks. Most people find it very difficult to express themselves and yes we think when exchanging BBM emoticons is all there is to it. Good job. Will come back in the morning to see what this post generates.

     
    • Kelvin

      June 16, 2011 at 7:01 am

      Lol…thanks and here’s power horse and puff puff for being first!

       
  2. cecenostockings

    June 16, 2011 at 4:50 am

    ” I’m the SI unit of charm and elegance”<- Riiiiigggghhht 😐
    Anyhu, I don't like phone convos. Chatting works WAY better for me. I always relate better with people I chat with than with people I talk to on the phone.
    Also, I am first 😀

     
    • Adahna

      June 16, 2011 at 6:32 am

      No ure not.!!!! Buahahahahhahaha

       
    • Kelvin

      June 16, 2011 at 7:04 am

      Yeah! But dyu prefer chatting with The ONe rather than vocal communication? I can understand the fun in chatting with people, but that person…
      By d way, u were second *hands her sprite*

       
      • cecenostockings

        June 16, 2011 at 9:07 am

        Dammit!
        Errr… We aren’t talking about the one here. Are we? Is that what this is all about? Anyhu, he knows how I feel about phone calls, so we save them for emergencies. I have VNs for when I just want to hear his voice, and he has VNs of me saying totally random stuff as well.
        Phone calls SUCK!!
        And, for everyone who laughed at me, IN YOUR FACES!! *does fist pump with sprite and walks away*

         
      • Kelvin

        June 16, 2011 at 10:02 am

        I’m sure as far as u’re concerned, other things suck as well, anyway…enjoy ur sprite! Lol

         
  3. alahyor

    June 16, 2011 at 6:26 am

    I so prefer phone calls to chatting..I also hate d tell me abt ursef question #lame

    Nice write up Kelvin

    And @cece u r the first NOT!!! :p

     
  4. Didi

    June 16, 2011 at 6:28 am

    Hope u took the thongs n bras home?? Your post is so on point. i‎​ do more of chatting cos i‎​ prefer it but talking still works way better… Imagine trying to settle a quarrel btw u n ur gf and u do it BBM,#Fail… Ok, errm… I’m done here.. Good one Kelvin

     
  5. alahyor

    June 16, 2011 at 6:28 am

    I so prefer phone calls to chatting..I also hate d tell me abt ursef question #lame

    Nice write up Kelvin

    And @cece u r the first NOT!!! :p

     
    • Kelvin

      June 16, 2011 at 7:15 am

      Heehee…tnx

       
  6. Nugwa

    June 16, 2011 at 6:28 am

    Chatting is easier for everyone so my test for “readyness” is when i can talk on phone… thats much harder and if you can kick it there, you can kick it anywhere… nice job kev…

     
    • Kelvin

      June 16, 2011 at 7:12 am

      Yes boss…tnx

       
  7. Didi

    June 16, 2011 at 6:33 am

    “Tell me about urself” pisses the hell outta me!!!!!
    *calms down* *sips calamine lotion*

     
    • Kevin

      June 16, 2011 at 8:20 am

      Bwahahahahaha…this comment had me rolling…

       
  8. Kleopahtra

    June 16, 2011 at 6:49 am

    Lmao!!!! I used 2 fink chatting was way better,until i started talking. I realised i could feel d emotion/excitement wen i hear d person talk… U really brought out alotta little truths…Humour works ol d time 4 me. And yh wizkid language??…#iDied. Kelvin twas a Nice post as usual..

     
  9. bukiola

    June 16, 2011 at 6:52 am

    Phone calls, chats, ny1 works for me n relating one on one is very easy 4 m provided d guy is not dull n boring cos I ve gone on dates n I cudnt wait to leave, I even wish I cud plug my ear fone n listen to TerryG’s testin microphone. Nice one Kev, I hope dose borin guys will read dis n get small brain. Btw, wch one is Wizkid language?

     
    • Kelvin

      June 16, 2011 at 7:10 am

      Tnx.. Wizkid language is the latest in town, its a mixture of conc Yoruba accent and english, it incorporates the H’ factor the ‘s’ in the place of ‘Z’ eg soo instead of zoo… Hax instead of ask etc… Axe somborri juh..

       
  10. Kleopahtra

    June 16, 2011 at 6:52 am

    Oh…how d i 4get d ‘tell me about urself’ line??? Warrahell is dat?? Dat line is sooooo 12thcentury…..!!!!

     
  11. MsBukonla

    June 16, 2011 at 6:56 am

    This is d sweetest post I’ve read from KevinwithanL. The punchlines are too many and I know many pple who need to read this! They have been given the memo 🙂

     
    • Kelvin

      June 16, 2011 at 7:06 am

      Tnx a lot dear, I hope ‘they’ receive the memos 😀

       
  12. anita foy

    June 16, 2011 at 7:13 am

    nice blog kev.. i get ur call aspect.. buh sum1 like me, wen im rili pissed, i prefer sndn a
    txt jst so il type it jst d way it is in my heart. cs i realised dat wen i call, b4 i can prolly say wats on my mind, d guy may av cut me shrt, n i tend2 4get sumtns i wanna say. so my questn is dis, is dat bad??

     
    • Kelvin

      June 16, 2011 at 7:22 am

      Tnx dear, personally too I’m a writing person, I can pour out my emotions (good/bad) on paper BUT not everyone can READ emotions..some things, like hurt are better HEARD in a voice than read in a text. When such things need to be addressed, u shd probably arrange your feelings on paper first, call and VOICE ’em .. Thus u don’t forget anytn n ur msg and emotions r passed!

       
      • anita foy

        June 16, 2011 at 7:52 am

        ok. thanks alot. guess dis will help..

         
  13. Adahna

    June 16, 2011 at 7:21 am

    Mehn… #TeamPhoneCallsBeforeMeetingFirst convo over BBM,watsapp or #lowkey 2go ,all the time convo 😐 seriously, I’m not a quiet person, *side eye @ my ba…Err @ kelvin* hence I like to talk and sometimes the power to type all what I have to say leaves me all the more reasons to call.! 😀 besides,some people can form hero and be funny and stuff when they type and not when they speak (been there,seen them)…long story short..I like talking.! Btw tell me abt urself ey.? 😐

     
    • Kelvin

      June 16, 2011 at 7:33 am

      See this one asking Oracle question here o! Hian!!! Seriously though, thanx to Social networks n stuff, lots of people have become tongue tied..its sad, but ah well…

       
  14. ibetapassmynebo

    June 16, 2011 at 7:22 am

    I don’t ve anything to say…..kevin with an ELU…u and I kno better…..

    Buahahahahahahahah!

     
  15. @bule_jr

    June 16, 2011 at 7:26 am

    Kelvin. I wrote something last week and u wrote a similar topic d next day. Wrote on dating yesterday and this today. Hmm maybe we are the male vversions of ada and betty. Anyway I have no preferences as bot calls n bbm work fine( maybe cuz I’m a charmer) but nothing can ever replace actual calls. IMPORTANT.

     
    • Kelvin

      June 16, 2011 at 7:47 am

      Mehn, talk about being n-sync..lol
      Anyways about d versions, I’ve got an Ada locked down, so u be (r) betty…haha
      Tnx for checking in!

       
      • @bule_jr

        June 16, 2011 at 7:59 am

        Humbly bows as I receive my betty brain. Not a bad person to be compared to you know. LOL

         
  16. dammydiva

    June 16, 2011 at 7:29 am

    LOL, nice post. Communication is definitely key for me, forget the looks, if we dnt ‘flow’ the first time, cnt happen again…good one KevD…:D

     
  17. ike

    June 16, 2011 at 7:30 am

    wait a minute, u picked up that boxer wif ur hand? Ewwww

     
    • Kelvin

      June 16, 2011 at 7:38 am

      Hahahahahahahaha…

       
  18. teeonair

    June 16, 2011 at 7:38 am

    Hahhahahaha twas a Great read…that phone convoy was hilarious though…. U have made a point Kevin…we all need to know the people we have a slightest interest in before meeting….WORD bruv WORD.

     
    • Kelvin

      June 16, 2011 at 7:42 am

      Tnx mayne… *bell of blessing* for you first time comment(er)(or)?

       
      • jAyajade

        June 18, 2011 at 5:46 pm

        (tator) 😀

         
  19. naijabelle

    June 16, 2011 at 7:40 am

    Lwkmd!…wizkid’s language? #dies …as usual,my imagination goes hand in hand wiv ur ryt ups,dats y ur my fave blogger *plants kiss on his lip* dats 4 being such a swh…*runs*

     
    • Kelvin

      June 16, 2011 at 7:50 am

      Kiss on lip eh? Ok o..d other lip nko? Lol…and yeah, u better run before …ok let’s leave that!
      Yay! I’m ur fave blogger…lemme send my a/c number..

       
  20. Xbone

    June 16, 2011 at 7:44 am

    Umm…mad nice post sha…only prob i av…quit the ‘2go lowkey/faints’ ….my feelings r on d line here!!…good one sha…moral lesson?? Talk a lot nt chat before meetin…#okbye

     
  21. a_lil_xtra

    June 16, 2011 at 7:50 am

    “Tell me about urself” is about d LAMEST way to begin a convo ever! Any guy who starts like dat with me = #EPICFAIL..!
    As much as i luv chatting,phone convos do more for me.. I can tell if i’m gonna want to see u,or if ur number shd be summarily deleted from my contact list..dsnt matter how fine or “arranged” u look in ur dp/avatar..if ur convo skills don’t come up to par,sowie…**pressing “delete contact” button**
    Kelvin,i “officially” luv u..there,i said it :D…enjoyed reading this,as always..

     
    • Kelvin

      June 16, 2011 at 8:08 am

      Heeheehe… *iBlush*
      Tnx for always reading..I’m so grateful..

       
  22. musingsofagidimallam

    June 16, 2011 at 7:51 am

    Great post bruv…got me laffin so much my students were lookin at me funny (I wasn’t teachin o)
    I agree wit u 100% bruv…maybe it’s cos I’m an SI unit for charm as well…hehehe *sips som Zobo Imperial*
    But I also kno som ppl who can’t talk on d phone cos they can’t rili express themselves verbally…personally I roll anyhow mehn…I luv convos period…whether it’s cyber, verbal or face to face.
    N hashuali hi speak som Wizkid in addition to flawless English…heet can be feri useful somtimes somo…hespeshiali hafta d babe knows u kno RP…u can use it hand break d hice somtin…so ye yin…ehen…hehehehe *drops d mic n dougies off d stage*

     
  23. Zeesparklez

    June 16, 2011 at 7:54 am

    You nailed it. KWAL

    Moving H’on
    I particularly hate it when I have to take over of a conversation,especially not with a guy.

    Thank you for another wonderful post. I would definitely forward it to my bbm old/new contacts. 😀

     
  24. fenelee

    June 16, 2011 at 7:56 am

    Phone calls & physical convos are better. For someone you’ve never met, its important to hear the voice & accent. I hear most naija girls love a dude with a deep igbo accent, yes? No? It also helps to determine the authenticity of ‘lol’s. Just hope you don’t get ‘brb’s while on a date though. Chats via messengers (including yahoo messenger) are great once you’ve gotten to know the person. You can hear ‘her’ voice over text.
    Nice post boss. Time to ‘listen’ to some

     
    • Kelvin

      June 16, 2011 at 8:15 am

      Deep ibo accent? *dies!!!* well, I dunno sha, maybe that’s why I get those with the lovely foreign accents..yeah I’m biased to voices! Don’t want her screaming CHIMOO!! Instead of Oh LAWD!!!
      Tnx for waiting and reading bruv!

       
    • kitkat

      June 16, 2011 at 10:09 am

      “I hear most naija girls love a dude with a deep igbo accent, yes? No?”- #DeathByLethalinjection

       
  25. fenelee

    June 16, 2011 at 7:57 am

    . . . Yanni

     
  26. Zeesparklez

    June 16, 2011 at 7:58 am

    @musingsofagidimallam
    That is the kind of convos that I like. Let’s go from prim and proper to jenifa , that is what makes a chat. You can never go wrong with being yourself.

     
    • Kelvin

      June 16, 2011 at 8:11 am

      Oh yup yup! Again I say “be comfy in your skin!”
      Hope your New BBM contacts get d message..lol
      Cheers!

       
  27. naijabelle

    June 16, 2011 at 8:00 am

    De other lip? *scratches head* errm,dat will be 4 anoda day o…and send de a/c number wiv ur atm…

     
  28. SlevinCalevra

    June 16, 2011 at 8:04 am

    I wanted to drop a comment immediately after reading the info and i regret not doing just that! First i didn’t know people still used the ‘tell me about yourself’ line. Maybe it’ll work for local girls but… Also, making people laugh works all the time o! That one is a proven fact and the wizkid language can be a good comedic tool.
    Nothing works like that ‘bedroom voice’ call… *Not Phoneh o*
    Nice read again bro. I’m sure some people will need this, my only suspicion is that they are all on facebook or even hi5!

     
  29. SlevinCalevra

    June 16, 2011 at 8:11 am

    I wanted to post a comment after reading the intro but i decided against it. Now i regret that decision. First lemme say i didn’t know people still used the “tell me about yourself” line. I mean, maybe the line will still work for razz girls but cammman… We don’t do that here! Making people laugh is a win all the time and the wizkid lingua can be a very good comedic tool o!
    And bro listening and the eyes…*YOU TOO MUCH*. I am sure a few people will need this post but i suspect they are all stuck on facebook. Please make sure you promote this post there too…
    As usual, nice read.
    Safe man.

     
    • Kelvin

      June 16, 2011 at 8:21 am

      Sushey…I’m thinking your chic (or some of them) is/are on Facebook…much as I’ll like to put this there, I’m trying to save you Twitter folk the embarassment those my ‘friends’ there cause me…I don’t want anyone to say “its Kelvin that brought them here)
      Lol..tnx man…u’re up next!

       
  30. MzLucyM

    June 16, 2011 at 8:16 am

    Ooooo kelvin!! I wonder how dis ur mind works sumtimes.. Buh great piece nd very essential too.. 🙂

     
    • Kelvin

      June 16, 2011 at 8:25 am

      Me too I wonder, it has a mind of its own! Lol…tnx

       
  31. afrosays

    June 16, 2011 at 8:25 am

    *Comes on stage with my band after you exit with your rainbow collection of septic strips of cloth.
    **Raises one eyebrow, the magnum
    ***Time stops. Every non-female, non-pretty member of the audience dies.

    Interesting concept on getting the chemistry going before a physical mee but me, I vote for buying the N1500 credit sha. Midnight call with a barbie you just met? Ask around!

    ****Brings eyebrow back down
    *****Another solar system is created
    ******Sings
    *******Microphone turns to pure gold
    ******** “Please can you tell them to put their clothes back on?”

     
    • Kelvin

      June 16, 2011 at 9:39 am

      *rolling in the deep* #NoAdele
      Dude! U are finished o..LHKM…
      Concerning the credit, trust me hommes, I’ve been there, done that, got the T-shirt too…eventually all she wants is to hear your voice all the time (esp if it sounds like mine) morning, noon, night or VN’s…it don’t matter…the voice just makes the world a better place!

      “put your clothes back on people”

       
  32. chinnydiva

    June 16, 2011 at 8:51 am

    *nodding in agreement* a guy who can get me to laugh, can make me do anything. (he has to be super cute to start with though).

    I’m huge on convos so this is a win for me. Nice work Kel

     
    • awizii

      June 16, 2011 at 4:26 pm

      *ahem* anything? *turns swag on*

       
  33. kechilauren

    June 16, 2011 at 9:06 am

    Lol!..”I didn’t say u should start reciting nite of a thousand laffs”….nive one kelvin..

     
  34. slimsiren

    June 16, 2011 at 9:27 am

    Lol funny post as usual,K. Now throwing my own thongs and bra at you :p

     
    • Kelvin

      June 16, 2011 at 9:48 am

      *tells bouncers to escort you to dressing room but NOT to dress you up* *winks*

       
    • thetoolsman

      June 16, 2011 at 10:04 am

      *cough *cough *coughing… scratch that .. *catching cold*? No?
      #Bye

       
  35. ifyyy

    June 16, 2011 at 9:48 am

    *applause* Nice one Kev…communication is definitely key. #TeamMyHandsAcheWhileChatting. I’d rather talk on the phone. Good read by the way.

     
  36. UncleJevi

    June 16, 2011 at 9:53 am

    Brilliant, funny… making light of a very serious issue, but informative nonetheless. Wish brothers can step up their game a bit more… just by facking being their goddamn selves!

     
  37. nefertity

    June 16, 2011 at 10:01 am

    =))•´¨) 
    ¸.•´ ¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨)
    (¸¸.•´(¸.•´(¸.• =)) нaнaнaнaнa !! I have almost laff and die!!! True talk @ maintaining breast contact, some dudes don’t know d diff. I’m quite huge on convos too and I think I have an accent bias, if u speak pidgin just stick with it, if u mix igbo, efik and gaelic also stick with it, u don’t have to start formn all phonetics when yu still say words like (harfgharnirstarn)

     
  38. kitkat

    June 16, 2011 at 10:03 am

    LOOL!! you always kill me like every single time! ..doing your best to make sure she’s shy is such a jerk move though, u shld make her comfortable *sticks out tongue*

     
  39. BragginRightz

    June 16, 2011 at 10:24 am

    Nice write up Kelv… 😀

     
  40. Kemmiiii

    June 16, 2011 at 10:56 am

    i know im late *shrugs*

    this is a really lovely post…i like the fact that i laugh and learn anytime i come here..
    I really love long convos…i think i know how to keep a conversation going 😀 but with people of my type sha *wink*

     
    • Kelvin

      June 16, 2011 at 11:52 am

      Your type eh? And I’m happy u learn here…tnx for dropping in…

       
  41. 'Dania

    June 16, 2011 at 11:14 am

    Wait, hold up! Uncle Kev is now giving relationship advice? Hmmm…. 😡

     
    • Kelvin

      June 16, 2011 at 11:38 am

      Buhahaha…come come come, I said u can take it or not…and who’s your uncle? *side eye*

       
  42. Okhai_Hov

    June 16, 2011 at 3:59 pm

    Nice one Kev. Ironically, I spent more time reading the comments than I spent on the write up! On Point bro!

     
  43. awizii

    June 16, 2011 at 4:29 pm

    So far you’re the only blogger I know who absolutely knows how to pass messages across while lacing with humor. You got a gift son..nice one…

    Convos…the kid can do every..u know, chat, skype, BBM, phone calls…especially phone calls..I don’t think I’ve ever had a problem holding a convo with any girl…..

    Yes..I’m bad ass like that. 😀

     
  44. Leema

    June 16, 2011 at 5:45 pm

    DEATH TO “Tell me about yourself”!!!!!!!!
    *adjusts clothing*
    yes err interesting post… Very relatable…
    Every single time i get told “tell me about yourself” there’s this reflex eyeroll and then i get a headache outta nowhere accompanied by fatigue… Weird? Yes no?
    I think more guys shld read this btw 😀
    okay bye 🙂
    oh yeah “i ddnt say u shd go and recite nite of 1000 laugh” LMAO!

     
  45. Niro

    June 16, 2011 at 8:12 pm

    Nice post! But sometimes the ‘tell me about yourself’ question works o… Especially when the girl is like Katie (from abc series, No ordinary family). (-_-)

     
  46. juwa

    June 16, 2011 at 9:07 pm

    Nice!!rily Nice…..’Tell me about yourself’……cliche,,,I Hate it!!!…..lmao@ dat 2GO part,whoeva tot of dat chat messenger shud be hanged!!

     
  47. juwa

    June 16, 2011 at 9:08 pm

    Nice!!rily Nice…..’Tell me about yourself’……cliche,,,I Hate it!!!…..lmao@ dat 2GO part,whoeva tot of dat chat messenger shud be ……

     
  48. terdoh

    June 17, 2011 at 12:45 pm

    I’m not funny in real life…I have given up on meeting people…I’ll probably die lonely with two male cats and a cream cabinet. (No pun intended). *sigh* No hope for us sha…

     
  49. samanthasiren

    June 17, 2011 at 3:22 pm

    LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!! Kevo, when I read your post I can just imagine your voice in my head.
    “Sharapp I didn’t tell you to ga’an buy 1500 credit”
    And the BBM convo examples? Death! LMAO
    This is real stuff though, convo is everything
    If you guys can’t survive a decent one for at least an hour, might as well just give it up.
    Nice one baby!

     
  50. samanthasiren

    June 17, 2011 at 3:23 pm

    ps- LMFAO @ Kel “moaning”.

     
  51. samanthasiren

    June 17, 2011 at 3:25 pm

    pss- The key thing here in conversations is asking questions that LEAD to other questions…
    ex – Q- When was the last time you were in a serious relationship?
    A- Wow…it’s been a while, I’d say three years ago..
    Q- Oh wow, what happened?
    Geddit?
    #okbye

     
  52. Gee

    June 17, 2011 at 7:37 pm

    LooooL!!
    a/s/L??
    Buhahahahahahh!! those were the yahoo messenger days naw. LoL!!, now we strictly use only smileys to communicate on BBM o–LoL, words aint necessary these days sef. hahahah!
    nice post!

     
  53. honeysucklebelle

    June 18, 2011 at 1:04 pm

    Lol! Wit posts like dis u cud easily b d SI unit of charm n elegance. What’s it with people n sprite these days sef.
    Dang! Its too late to vote. Hope u win though. More grease to ur elbow, or ur pen, or keyboard. Or whatever. Good job

     
  54. cantbefrndz

    June 18, 2011 at 6:33 pm

    So wot if u probably spend lyk the whole day chatting with the babe n wen U̶̲̥̅̊ guys talk its goes for over 30 mins(all tanx to Airtel 2good) but still avnt meet…..re dis gud signs??

     
  55. Foluke

    June 19, 2011 at 4:55 am

    So on point. A lot of guys r guilty of this. They can’t hold a conversation for even a short while and yet they hope to keep ur interest. How is that possible?

     
  56. Ope Wealth Adebayo

    June 19, 2011 at 5:37 pm

    I love ur blog so much! You are hilarious

     
  57. Ope Wealth Adebayo

    June 19, 2011 at 6:02 pm

    More tips on relationships please . *Battling eye lashes*

     
  58. Anon

    June 22, 2011 at 2:00 pm

    Thank you!!!finally someone has addressed this issue of ‘tell me about yourself’!!!its like the worst question ever right after ‘so why don’t you have a bf/why are you single’…..lovely read 🙂

     
  59. leonmacedon

    June 22, 2011 at 3:06 pm

    Great post bro. love that “tell me what you think I am” line. Definitely gonna adopt it

     
  60. abike

    July 14, 2011 at 4:39 pm

    Well said KWAL.I think if a guy genuinely likes a girl n is interested in her,keeping a convo flowing shld b easy enough.I agree wit u totally,a rapport shld hv bin established prior to meeting her.n I adore ur write-ups!wily wily funny.was laughing all 2ru,my friends tot I was going crazy.u r hilarious!more pls…my 1st tym here btw.so wat do I get,bell of blessing,sprite or puff puff?

     
    • Kelvin

      July 14, 2011 at 4:56 pm

      Bell of Blessing for Abike…yay!!! Welcome hun and thanks!

       
  61. Anon2

    July 26, 2011 at 10:55 am

    I ABSOLUTELY hate the “tell me about yourself” line….nice write up, by the way. And wonderful blog too(no famzing).

     
  62. terdoh

    October 10, 2011 at 11:16 am

    I’m terrible with first time conversations and first time chats.

    I don’t go on dates, and I hate social activities. I’m sorry.

    I don’t like humans. 😐

     
  63. Sirkastiq

    June 18, 2012 at 8:48 am

    Reblogged this on The Sirkastiq Center and commented:

    Posting some of my favorite pieces ever on here..hope you enjoy

     

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