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BroKe BlokeS

11 Jun

Hey Guys, its been a minute…yeah, thing is I’m neckdeep in my certification exams this month and its crayzee. Its not beans trying to balance all that I have on my plate at the moment. Please bear with me. I couldn’t stay away totally though for the love of y’all, so I’ve contacted a couple of blogger friends of mine who will keep the blog rolling in my ‘absence’ I hope you find them as interesting as I do. Today we shall enjoy from one of my ladies. She’s @MsCantFindAname on Twitter…

Oh! By the way, nominations for the Nigerian Blog awards are on going. Pls visit http://www.nigerianblogawards.com/register.php and nominate me using the blog address https://kevinwithanl.wordpress.com/ Don’t forget to also nominate your other favorite bloggers in other categories as well…(Yeah, I’m nice like that)
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Hello folks. The name is Bee. When Kelvin told me he’d been considering me guest-writing on his blog, I wondered if there was anything wrong with him. I mean we all know him as that dude with one or two bolts out of place but to leave me in charge of his audience for a day, even my mother would question that decision. But hey, it’s been finalised, he can’t back-track now. Besides, who wouldn’t jump at the chance? I feel honoured to be here, at the service of you beautiful folks, and the not-so-beautiful ones too.all join!! So here goes.

Money they say is the root of all evil. I say money is.umm.actually I have no deep philosophical adage to coin here besides that without money, you are pretty screwed mate! Money is good. I love money, you should too. There’s no greater feeling than walking into a mall and just picking items off the railings without looking at the price tag. I mean, forget that you are broke for a second and just picture it. I trust my naija peepz – oppression galore.

Only people destined to be broke throughout their lifetime say such dumb things as ‘money is not everything’. I for one can never date a broke guy in my life.ever again. Oh yes, I’ve done it before. The old tale of love. The Jack and Jill syndrome. But Jack and Jill though? Did those two date? They weren’t siblings were they? They could have been you know. Hmm.some incestual goings-on in that nursery rhyme none of us ever noticed. You see, you learn everyday.You are welcome!

Moving on.

What I’ve noticed is that a lot of broke guys swear by MI’s One Naira. Some have gone as far as making the ‘.whether na one naira, whether na one million, baby you got me’ line their anthem. That’s how you know the ones that won’t be going far in life. One million though? Is that all you aspire to? In naira again, can you imagine? Four thousand pounds pere! That won’t make me milk in my panties honey! You gotta aim higher mehn. You gotta famz with USD, GBP, JPY – although they all sound like abbreviations of venereal diseases but these letters rule the world. Tell me, how do you expect people to take you serious when you’ve never seen dollars before? And err.no, $1 notes don’t apply here!

Yes, I’d never in my life date a broke guy ever again. If you are asking me out, I need your account statements for the past 3 months to shortlist your application before even going though the rigorous accent screening. I may be coming across as a bitch but giving a fxck is the least of my priorities right now. Seriously, there’s gotta be a law which requires broke men to never live among the regular lot. If you’re approaching a lady, respect yourself and deal within your means. If you approach a Bose or Chinwe, chances are you’d get an easy ride. But Beckys and Debbies? Even you gotta pay just to form association with those names. Bose/Chinwe can ask you credit for her Alcatel OT222 but Debbie has to know that the iPad2 is one of your least expensive toys at the moment. Bose may be cool with your ‘o samo’ lingo but if you as much as omit the words ‘finna’ and ‘innit’ from your vocabulary in your wooing speech to Becky, just terminate yourself. No chance in hell bro!

What I find so laughable is when people compare suitors to one’s father. Just because I asked that he be driving at the least, a 2009 model of any car, reside in a house which has a minimum of three bedrooms, preferably in the SW London area, a very healthy account balance and a Royal Bank of Scotland ‘Black Card’ credit card and I’ve been deemed a gold digger. ‘Is he your father?’ I hear them ask. But my father’s not trying to get in my pants, is he? Well, I can assure you he’s not. If that makes me a gold digger, then yeah lemme dig away. I’d rather you tell me you’re cheating on me after an expensive 3-course meal at The Savoy or that’s it over after my three-week trip through the Swiss Alps. Tell me you don’t love me anymore after you’ve signed that car to my name and I won’t even as much as flinch. Have a good life, I’d tell you. But that I’d hop on these grimy London buses with you, put up with numerous McDonald’s dates, most of which you paid for with vouchers, be stricken down with Pneumonia because you couldn’t afford heating in your tiny studio apartment in Kidbrooke and then be dumped for something that looks like what even Amadioha would reject as sacrifice, is stupid on my part. Never again. Thank you very much Ade!

You men gotta wake up and smell the coffee. We women love money. Don’t mention love, it’s got nothing to do with this. Thank you Tina Turner. We love spending. We love rubbing it in our friends’ faces when we get something we know they’d love to behold. Don’t come at me if you know you can’t live up to my expectations. Some call them unrealistic, I tell them to go find a cow in heat and make it happy. I’m a girl that takes pride in her appearance. My grooming bills are high but hey, these firm butts don’t come cheap. You’d like to squeeze them, right? Grope the righteousness out of them innit? Same way I feel about that bulge in your trousers. Go on, take it out, let’s have a look.the wallet, not the.ermm.tool!

I cannot work hard to look this good and you’ll just come and reap the benefits and walk away with your oblong head intact.no way Jose! You say you want a woman that looks good but you don’t want to pay for sh*t – any chance you might be high? As Yoruba people say, ‘obe to dun, owo lo pa’. Translation – a thick delicious soup has dollar signs swimming in it. You want something good, you gotta pay for it. No Pay, No Lay. I know that sounds like the service policy of a registered ‘adult-leisure’ company but really though, can you enjoy an excellent ‘service’ in good conscience knowing that you never ‘enhanced’ it in any way? You can? Really? Selfish git!

Broke guys? I laugh in Swahili at those two words. Some of them are brave though, as in you just gotta respect their hustle. Only a brave broke guy will make an elaborate effort to hide his empty-wallet condition by attempting to make you dinner at home so he doesn’t have to take you out to a paid one. He serves you what he calls ‘Le Garria la Vivre’ which you find has a very distinct flavour. He tells you not to worry, it’s an acquired taste, he says. A closer inspection of the dish and you realise the buffoon just served you a 4-day old eba, garnished poorly. Garria though?? Kunle, I curse you every time I remember this incident. May you never again experience the joy of morning wood.

I did not come here to laden my sob stories on you. Rather, I want to educate my fellow boob-carriers in the house. Girls, forget love, it doesn’t do sh*t. Your honey pot is your power house. With that, you can compel even the world’s most powerful to bend to your wishes. But gawk not, not every girl has that golden triangle that can disengage a man’s brain from the rest of his anatomy. That’s achievable though, but that’s one for another time.

It’s been lovely infiltrating your cranial box for the past couple of minutes. Again, you’re welcome. See you soon! Signing out.peace!!

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76 Comments

Posted by on June 11, 2011 in Life

 

76 responses to “BroKe BlokeS

  1. cecenostockings

    June 11, 2011 at 12:37 pm

    *standing ovation* chai!!! As in, too on point!!!

     
    • Kelvin

      June 11, 2011 at 1:00 pm

      I think my guys should do a similar post ahn ahn…

       
      • cecenostockings

        June 11, 2011 at 1:24 pm

        Please \_

         
      • terdoh

        June 11, 2011 at 6:13 pm

        YES!!! Which kain yab be dis?? We must retaliate utune! (I think we’ll need a team for this girl oh!)

         
    • cecenostockings

      June 11, 2011 at 1:39 pm

      Actually, I don’t like to accept stuff from guys. I don’t like it. It makes me uncomfortable. Unless we’re uber close. But I like to know that, should the need arise, what I need can be provided when I need it. I too have been down the road of dating a broke guy *sigh* never again mhen -_-

       
      • Kelvin

        June 11, 2011 at 1:44 pm

        Apparently, I see that the ladies actually disagree with Beyonce’z independent woman mythology…yay!!!

         
  2. Zeesparklez

    June 11, 2011 at 12:48 pm

    I love you mscantfindaname.
    There is no point pretending like you can be with someone that is poor. Me I don’t want 4 days eba o.

     
  3. bolouere

    June 11, 2011 at 12:57 pm

    COSIGNED!

     
  4. Slim

    June 11, 2011 at 1:19 pm

    Loool at four day eba!!! Nice!

     
  5. Nugwa

    June 11, 2011 at 1:34 pm

    First guy to comment i believe… I like that you’re honest… You know what you want and you arn’t trying to Hide it… Thats a good thing… Wether it’s “politically correct” is another thing entirely… As i guy, i’ve never been a scrooge but bank statement before we even get to know each other? I’d run without looking back… not cuz i can’t live up to it but in simple terms… She’s made clear “ALL” she is after… And by the way… “Finna” is as ghetto as a girls english can get… I live in houston so i know what i’m talking about… Good post tho’… (Y)

     
    • wordsofanaries

      June 11, 2011 at 2:12 pm

      I’m @MsCantFindAName

      First of all, thanks evry1 4 even taking time out to read the post.

      2ndly, although this post is totally fiction, there are some elements I knew would provoke these sort of responses. Regarding the ‘finna’, yes it’s a colloquial term just as much as ‘innit’ but it’s regarded as very cool. The xter in d post is not looking for a Wole Soyinka but rather, someone who’s at least familiar with these lingos n not just limited to local slangs. What would u prefer? A girl that says orobokibo or innit? There u go!

      And also, whether we like it or not, there are girls who are like this and men who go for them. Although I birthed this xter, it doesn’t mean I share her sentiments but let’s just say I do understand why jilted girls who worshipped their financially incapable exes go on to consider their vaginas the only reliable thing they can count on 2 kill two birds: have a man livelihood. After all, u neva lose men chasing that honey pot and some even see it as their responsibility 2 ‘enhance’ it!

       
      • Nugwa

        June 11, 2011 at 2:40 pm

        I know its fiction, (and boy does that make me relieved!) But…Errrm… “Finna”? Regarded as very cool? In MY Opinion (emphasis on “MY”) Thats mostly by Nigerians who either have a complex, or are the proverbial “i-live-the-good-life” wannabees. But then again, i’d take “finna” over “orobokibo” anyday… haha… And don’t get me wrong, i personally believe my woman should never even have to ask for anything, i should take care of her and meet both her needs and her wants… but the characters emphasis is too much nau… Haba… she should “takeereezy”!

         
  6. Tomboxe

    June 11, 2011 at 1:38 pm

    Ah… I’m off to forge a reply…

     
  7. juwa

    June 11, 2011 at 2:10 pm

    Really Nice…yeah!! Money isn’t everything but it means a lot!!!what’s dat tin dey said*thinking*……abi lemme just say my own jor……its beta to cry in a range rover dan to cry in dat my fada’s kinda mercedez benz,dat almost all our fadas once had!!d bottom line of d mata is dat every guy shud hustle hard and make money!!!

     
    • Kelvin

      June 11, 2011 at 2:13 pm

      *side eye* we should just make d money anyhow ba?

       
  8. SlevinCalevra

    June 11, 2011 at 2:12 pm

    Ah! Ashawo… I want!!!!! ๐Ÿ˜€

     
  9. SlevinCalevra

    June 11, 2011 at 2:24 pm

    But seriously, this is nice! LMAO @ ‘garria la vivre’. Also you forget that Debbie is short for Deborah (pronounced with thick yoruba accent). A reply from Larry Sushey should be in the books…
    Now off to #ff the writer. Great job guys!

     
  10. ThinkTank

    June 11, 2011 at 2:38 pm

    Theres a thin line between being a professional prostitute and being an ‘open-eyed’ woman. Seeing as how this is not a serious post I will refrain from excessively sober comments.

    “Le Garria la Vivre” though? BANS. Reminds me of “Ewa a la charcoal” – (slightly burnt beans)

    Well written, mildly amusing post…

    Lets see what else you’ve got up your sleeve

    ๐Ÿ™‚

     
    • wordsofanaries

      June 11, 2011 at 3:23 pm

      Well written…thanks
      Mildly amusing post?..err…thanks?? ๐Ÿ™‚

       
      • ThinkTank

        June 11, 2011 at 5:37 pm

        You’re welcome? ๐Ÿ™‚

         
    • BBB

      June 14, 2011 at 5:13 am

      LMAO EWa a la charcoal????
      *faints*

       
  11. Nono

    June 11, 2011 at 2:40 pm

    Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha *im crying here* LMFAO! Love whoever wrote this post. Not cos I agree with her but cos she exuded such confidence in what she was saying. Kinda like “you don’t agree with me? Well kiss my tight black ass” LOL! *cough* moving on…….Dating a broke guy especially when you are rich and he sometimes has to depend on you is only a problem for me when he doesn’t love you and is cheating on your ass or takes it as a normal thing to be asking you for money. Life isn’t a bed of roses so show some zeal to achieve sm’in and we good AKA show me this condition isn’t permanent lol. Yea we’d all love to date rich guys but there are the poor ones that are not willing to accept it and go on to make something of themeselves. I advise all my friends to run away from the dudes that were made for american football. Fucking receivers. They are always bad news. Once again, totally loved the piece.

     
    • Kelvin

      June 11, 2011 at 2:47 pm

      Yay! Nono on my blog commenting *rings bell of blessing*
      I see the serious undertones of this piece are beginning to arise…
      Ha! I feel like @thetoolsman o! Where is he sef..?

       
    • wordsofanaries

      June 11, 2011 at 3:16 pm

      Hahahaha @ made for american football – fxcking receivers…I love this.

      But really, unfortunately there are some girls who experience a bad spell wiv a broke guy and just vow to never know one again. Such is the sad reality of life!

       
  12. Yvvyeve

    June 11, 2011 at 2:42 pm

    *clears throat* Erm this post, lemme start by saying that money is not the root of all evil. It is the love of money in excess. The love of money has not been d cause of the greatest evil. Money dint make lucifer stand up against God. Nor did it make Adam and eve disobey. In fact the bible says money answereth ALL things….. So it’s ok to love money WISELY…. Lemme also state that it is the work of a man to provide for his woman…. It’s scriptural cos d bible says that a man that cannot provide for his wife and children is worse than an infidel. It did not make any reference to girlfriend/sex partner.
    Ok let’s get worldly. Why must a man be responsible for your upkeep? Don’t u have hands and wisdom to make money and treat yourself to d best of clothes, shoes, fragrance and cars? If a man is interested in you it doesn’t mean he z automatically responsible for providing your needs. Let him shower you with gifts if HE so desires. It’s up to u to open your legs except he rapes u. What z wrong in being the HELP-meet God designed the woman to be? Eh hen! Yes I said it. Give him and receive too.
    Nobody z saying it’s ok to be poor. Buh it doesn’t mean d poor shudnt marry/court or be happy. The bible says d poor U’ll always have among u. Besides if u r not poor/lazy u wouldn’t look for whom to meet yur needs for sex or not. If u giv sex based on what u receive from men, IT IS WHORING without mincing words. A guy is not in yur life for the purpose of satisfying you materially or even sexually. It’s an emotional/ spiritual/ friendship affair. Money/sex z secondary cos it Shud rightly come after marriage. nice work here by the way *drops mic and exits scene*

     
    • Kelvin

      June 11, 2011 at 2:51 pm

      Oooohhh *rubbing hands with glee*
      I like…where’s @MsCantFindaName? Come and moderate your comments o!

       
      • wordsofanaries

        June 11, 2011 at 2:58 pm

        Lol pls fill in for me…I’ll settle you later ๐Ÿ™‚ u knw naw…

         
    • wordsofanaries

      June 11, 2011 at 4:01 pm

      Replying as the xter:
      Different folks, different strokes. Every woman works for her money, some in an office, and some on a man. You call it whoring, I call it a paid exercise. I get as much appeasing his loins as u do sitting in an office so turning up your nose at me is a pointless flex of your facial muscles. I simply don’t give a flying monkey.

      What’s with the holier than thou attitude? I have helped a man, (scroll up and read again dear), stood by him and what did I get in return? I have paid my dues, maybe not to the present man but it covers it all and I ain’t about to go down that same route.

      Did u say God designed woman to be the help-meet? Really? I don’t think Eve got that memo you know? And remember, we are all daughters of Eve, says the Bible not me, so tell me why my own apple should stray far from its tree?

      Lastly, guurrlll, SEX is primary in any r/ship, and so is money. Love can enter the equation later but it aint worth breaking a neck for, trust me. And if u choose 2 do the whole ‘independent woman’ look, good 4 u. U choose 2 work hard, I choose 2 work smart!

       
      • Kelvin

        June 11, 2011 at 4:51 pm

        Oh my! *sips sprite* so feisty *cleans sweat* I like, I should approach…*checks wallet* sigh…

         
      • Nollywood REinvented

        June 28, 2011 at 4:37 am

        @Kelvin’s check’s wallet and sighs….laugh wan tumble me die. This is officially my internet home. Eff facebook and twitter. You say is kevin with an L.*jots that down* TAKE IT AWAY

         
  13. Yvvyeve

    June 11, 2011 at 2:44 pm

    About the accent, *lips sealed*

     
  14. loba

    June 11, 2011 at 2:53 pm

    This is absolutely complete BS.

     
  15. kblewin

    June 11, 2011 at 3:08 pm

    ahn ahn! ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

     
  16. kblewin

    June 11, 2011 at 3:36 pm

    there is a very thin line between gold-digging and not-settling-for-a-broke-guy tho…. #justsaying

     
  17. cecenostockings

    June 11, 2011 at 4:06 pm

    I sense the time is nigh *dragging cooler of cold beverages into comments section*

     
  18. thetoolsman

    June 11, 2011 at 4:37 pm

    Damn mtn kept me away for too long. Anyways lemme start by applauding thd writer. I totally agree with Nono. You were very bullish and I love the sense of humor. I could respond to this in a lot of ways. Heck, I’m even tempted to do a post on a reply but I’m liking the comments. Let’s see just how many other daughters of Eve agree with you.

     
    • Kelvin

      June 11, 2011 at 4:42 pm

      REPLY! REPLY! REPLY!!!

       
    • wordsofanaries

      June 11, 2011 at 5:09 pm

      Coming from The Toolsman? I’m humbled. Thanks man ๐Ÿ™‚
      N yeah, u shld totally do a reply post. Would be nice 2 read from a man’s angle!

       
  19. musingsofagidimallam

    June 11, 2011 at 5:01 pm

    Oya now…so mscantfindaname finali found one for her blog…coolies…Kelvin great job for bringing her here.
    On to d matter at hand…like Nono said…I like d confidence wit which d “Xter” spoke…but IMO she’s a “Hoe”…n if u don’t agree wiv me…well…*shrug*.
    If u don’t date a guy cos he’s broke right now…just might be ur loss…like some of d ladies here have wisely said…d point shld be whether he has d potential for a much wealthier future n what he’s doing to achieve that future…cos if u ditch him n he does make it…well…*shrugs drops d mic n dougies off d stage*

     
    • wordsofanaries

      June 11, 2011 at 5:22 pm

      misunderstood character: *picks up mic*

      If a guy makes it after I’ve left him, it just wasn’t meant to be. Plenty of fish in d sea, tell me why I shld cry over one! *drops mic n sashays off the stage*

      As @MsCantFindAName:
      Lol yea I remember u…thanks a bunch ๐Ÿ™‚

       
  20. Hon3yBr0nz3d

    June 11, 2011 at 5:04 pm

    As for me; i aint saying am a gold digger, but i aint chilling with no broke niggas!

    Simple and short!

    And for the other daughter of eves sticking to a guy who is broke/Lazy/struggling; if u like be forming mother theresa; You never know a man’s character till he has money, enough to finance his lusts! Sticking to him during his ”low” times doesnt mean he will stick to you during his ”high” times. Be guided! Be smart

     
  21. @Qurr

    June 11, 2011 at 5:11 pm

    Thanks for the tag, Kelvin. Interesting piece by the guest blogger.

    My would-be comment has already been succinctly expressed by ThinkTank. And expanded upon by Yvvyeve though I dont completely agree with her.

    One perspective I will leave you with is, is the girl in for the long haul or to just chop and go on? if the former them in some cases a guy that is rich right now proves nothing if its not his own hard earned money. He got it easy, his Dad or whatever was hardworking and responsible. We will know over time if he can sustain it. For the not so rich guy, it is easier to see what he does with opportunities and limitations. But that’s if you want long term. He that’s not the girl’s aim then no problems at all. My 2 cents.

     
    • @Qurr

      June 11, 2011 at 5:37 pm

      Apologies for the typos. I’m mobile and using T9 for speed. Looks like it assumed too much. lol. i guess its still readable though.

       
  22. Nugwa

    June 11, 2011 at 5:24 pm

    *Walks back into the comments section… pulls up a chair… * “Hey @cecenostockings please pass me a sprite from that cooler of yours… thanks”…

     
  23. terdoh

    June 11, 2011 at 6:18 pm

    (I wrote a speech for MsICantFindANameAndGoogleIsn’tHelping but wordpress doesnt allow a comment that’s more than 5000 words so…*D’banj-Kanye shrug*)

    *in posh british accent* Thank you for yabbing us broke guys! At least we’re not so broke that we can’t buy vaseline and cocoa butter.

     
    • Kelvin

      June 11, 2011 at 6:30 pm

      But Terdoh, why are you like this eh? Why? Yo Cece, any vaseline in your stash?

       
      • cecenostockings

        June 11, 2011 at 6:37 pm

        How will I have vaseline in beverage cooler? Ehn Kelvin? *reaches into handbag* I have Jergens sha.

         
    • freshprinz

      June 13, 2011 at 11:48 pm

      have u seen d new vaseline moisturizer for men. those guys know wat they’re doing o….#OkBye

       
  24. a_lil_xtra

    June 11, 2011 at 6:43 pm

    Wow!!! Lotsa views r being aired here oh! Kelvin,maybe u shd keep ur fire extinguisher handy…u never know…
    Ok..my 2 cents…even tho i don’t identify with d xter portrayed here,i totally understand her point of view…i mean,diff strokes for diff folks,u know…i’m in a r/ship dat used to be all “Jack n Jill”-ish,n i know what we(he n i) suffered..i stayed,n now,d money’s coming in,steadily…jst gives me a whole lot more to be grateful for..
    Great work,@misscantfindAname…luv it,luv it,LUV IT!

     
  25. terdoh

    June 11, 2011 at 6:51 pm

    Okay seriously, I think that the character (not @MsICantFindAName) is Odinabarbie. ๐Ÿ˜

     
    • wordsofanaries

      June 11, 2011 at 11:21 pm

      Odina u say? kaii….see my character’s rep slowly washing away down the gutter
      how hurtful. hey, she may be a shameless golddigger but she’s got feelings too you know?:)

       
    • freshprinz

      June 13, 2011 at 11:46 pm

      Buhahahahaha…..Daughter of Odin….

       
  26. Kleopahtra

    June 11, 2011 at 7:12 pm

    Very interesting piece..bur iFink ds issue is a Two-way thing. As much as iM not d demanding or ‘buy me,Buy me’ Type..i’d Love 2 av a dude dat can and would provide 4 me anytym without flinchin… There is self-Pride in owning ur own…call me old-skool bur iFink it mks d guy respect u more….i’l choose my happiness over errfin..so ivn if my Boo is broke now..if we r happy 2geda..Nothing else matters…

     
  27. tobicomm

    June 11, 2011 at 7:55 pm

    Hahahahaha. Nice post. Luv d humour. Really waiting for a male response to this.

     
  28. Mystic

    June 11, 2011 at 9:37 pm

    #NS *whether na 10billion, whether na 100billion baby u got me baby u got me, u’re d only 1 dat I see… *
    I cnt dat a broke niccur, I can date an average guy wit prospects for a great future, but a poor guy wallowing in his poverty state, hoping tins wld turn around and not doin anytin is a NO NO!!!
    No one wants to enter a yellow & black lag bus backing a child and every passenger stretching their hands over d childs head, shouting “ori omo, ori omo”…
    So if I’m trying to secure a great future for me and my child by not dating and eventually marrying a broke ass niccur makes me a gold digger, I accept dat postion wit a humble heart… *drops megaphone & sips sprite mixed alomo*

     
  29. ibetapassmynebo

    June 11, 2011 at 9:45 pm

    Sowri k-baby ds is coming late u kno y……..

    Great write up…

     
  30. @bule_jr

    June 12, 2011 at 4:16 am

    Its work that made me late, but I found this funny and stuff but truth be told, there’s no written law as to how this thing works,if you are in a relationship with the right mindset, anything is possible(Money or Not) but a guy that can handle himself and do stuff for the babe at “convenience” is also very good.
    Anyway, I had a writeup on gold-diggers last week and pretty much had the same response.
    Good work girl.

     
  31. HeyNicki

    June 12, 2011 at 11:23 am

    You probably don’t like the guy so much, you just want his money.(And that’s the mind form of a harlot). IMO I want to show the guy that I can live and survive comfortably without him, I mean, I’d appreciate some surprises,cos I LOVE surprises, like buy me a nice bracelet, or a blouse, and show me he can treat me good by paying for our dinner when we go out, but not to come and be buying me hair cream and toothpaste every month, I can take care of myself jor.

     
  32. DOMINATRIX

    June 12, 2011 at 2:21 pm

    I don’t kuku need boys to buy me anything. Just keep your head down there and keep mama happy. ฦ อกฬดฬดฬดฬดฬดฬด.ฬฎฦ อกฬด

     
    • Kelvin

      June 12, 2011 at 3:01 pm

      My domina has spoken *goes back to head position*

       
      • freshprinz

        June 13, 2011 at 11:49 pm

        Fake Domina ๐Ÿ˜›

         
  33. naijabelle

    June 12, 2011 at 10:34 pm

    Nice write up…rili did a gud job in portraying a bitchy-i-dnt-gv-a-rats-ass-attitude…buh w8 a minute,kelvin,wat is ur head doin down dre?…*rme*…IMO,a man shudn’t avta be rich nd be able 2 buy u de universe b4 u da8 him…well,4 me,I’m independent 2 a fault,neva fil cm4tble asking a man 4 money nd I’m proud 2 say dat errfin I own 2day cms 4rm eida my parents or my self…I’m nt saying I wudn’t lyk 2 be suprised or spoilt wiv a gift 4rm my man buh all I’m saying is dat,allow him 2 use his sense 2 shower u wiv gifts and money nd I tell u,if he’s a serz prsn,he will respect nd love u lyk no oda nd 4 de record,I bliv love exists buh in de strangest nd weirdest of places…*walks away wiv shoulders high*

     
  34. kitkat

    June 13, 2011 at 2:18 am

    LMBO! i believe in prince charming’s, fairy tales, disney movies and eloping with some gardener in the middle of the night, so ofcourse i hissed and cursed throughout this post ๐Ÿ˜› ..i mean, honestly i dnt care about how much a guy has in his bank account as long as he isn’t a pauper and is able to spoil me every now and then. Nice post though, loved it! ๐Ÿ™‚

     
  35. 0latoxic

    June 13, 2011 at 7:25 am

    Looks like the most sensible pple waited to comment last. Let’s just say I’m with the last four previous comments but I think Slim needs to personally see the Shady replies on the domina’s comment *gbe ja*

     
    • Kelvin

      June 13, 2011 at 7:32 am

      Relax man, Slim knows who she’s got..ain’t no need to fret…is that why you are here tho? Scallywag pelzin! *hiss*

       
  36. beemuse

    June 13, 2011 at 7:27 am

    *clears throat* Nice post! Of course I don’t agree with every part of it but its nice all the same.I was talking in a group about marriage and what you hope your partner to be like & hell almost froze over when I said he must be comfortable enough that my ‘presence’ in his life would not strain him.It was a gathering of ‘believers’ & most of them were of the ‘you don’t know if its through your relationship with the guy that the situation would change’ point of view.One even said that he had a friend who had only #12,000 when he got married! *spits* No offence at the dude but twelf tousaun Naira!!! Gawdfuhrbild! We’re not talking marriage here so that’s beside the point.I don’t have to date a guy that has Paddy Adenuga’s kind of money but if you give me gifts that make me feel like you’re tryna break up with me (cause I have heard Baaad stories)…mehn! It haff finish! P.S-Boys are not Cows so they are not just there for the milking.But seeing as you all like to form ‘the man’,you can like to try to be able to afford a few good things…(No emphasis on the ‘few’ at all) ๐Ÿ˜€ *walks off the stage*

     
  37. 'Dania

    June 13, 2011 at 4:31 pm

    Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

    And that’s all i have to say about that ๐Ÿ˜€

     
  38. BBB

    June 14, 2011 at 5:17 am

    why cant you all just see the humor in this and leave it at that
    Sweetie Thumbs up, excellent writing
    It was a long post but your humor kept me to the end

     
  39. jael999

    June 14, 2011 at 4:56 pm

    I can’t believe I’m just seeing this.

    To the Guest Writer, splendid job!

    To the Blog Owner, excellent choice!

    To the Post’s Objective, brilliantly direct and deliciously humorous!

    I’d love to see more post’s like this.. ๐Ÿ˜€

     
  40. Onah

    June 23, 2011 at 3:57 pm

    Good note..:)
    I don’t exactly agree with most things you said though but hey, everyone is different.

    The last bit about Kunle cracked me up!!! Lol! That’s actually funny. Men are funny creatures *sigh*

    I still don’t understand why we, females expect so much from the guys we sleep with. It’s never made sense to me. If a babe is having good sex with a guy, he owes that babe nothing! As long as he didn’t force the babe to open her leg, he owes her nothing!!!

    Money comes, money goes. It’s about dating someone who you love and loves you back. It’s about dating someone that you know works hard and has a bright future. It’s about dating someone who might not have a lot but still goes out of his way be it physically/emotionally/financially (in whatever way) to make you happy/to see you smile.

    If you date/marry someone for the money, God forbid, the money goes, what would you do? leave him?

    But yea, loved the note..you are real..it’s about being real..xx

    p.s. I’m a girl..:) lol.

     
  41. dunch

    July 25, 2011 at 2:26 pm

    @Mscantfindaname this was quite engaging and d comments even more so. As much as I do not support hoing like d xter in ur post I hav to say there is some truth in it, I cannt be hardworking gal, working my butt off frm 8 to 5, making money, looking good and taking good care of myself and have some broke bloke come and want to get me for next to nuffin, dats a complete no no for me.
    I’ll leave โ€Žโ€‹ฦฑ with this: think abt how many women married their husbands when he was broke thinking he has potential and 15 to 20 yrs down d line d guy has not moved up d ladder of wealth to provide her n d kids they hav with d good things of life?

     

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