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BimBo!

07 Aug

Aloha my people. Its that time of week again where we give ‘voice’ to other writers to share stuff with us.
Today’s guest is no stranger to blogville. I made the mistake of reading his blog and ever since, I’ve been hooked. Crazily funny does no justice in describing him. He’s simply out-of-this-world. Without much ado, Ladies, Gentlemen and those sexually confused, enjoy @Terdoh

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First of all, before we start, I want to congratulate Oga Ke_v #WithAnL for winning the only award every blog comedian was craving for. No be small thing! He has become my sworn enemy whether he likes it or not. Yeah. That aside, I know everyone says “It’s an honor to be on such a renowned blog, I hope I can live up to expectations”, fuck that shit men! I am planning to reduce the humor bar on the blog as much as I can. Believe it or yes, by the time I am done with this post, you won’t visit this site again!!! Mark my words!

(Insert my score here abeg)

Okay, on to the boring post.

I. Love. Dumb. Girls! INSTANT TURNON!!!!!
Okay. *pauses to focus on growing erection*
What (or who, in this case) is a dumb girl? A dumb girl, or Bimbo, is a creative piece of art strategically placed on the surface of God’s lovely earth to enable any member of the male homo sapien species, who possess any minute form of brain power, effectively reproduce, replenish and fill the earth.
Definition toh behd yo! Did it myself! *shines golden tooth*

Yes, so we have defined a Bimbo as a very attractive woman who is thick in the skull. That is not all. She has to have loose morals. When I say loose, I mean LOOSE, like Yar’ Adua’s hold on the presidential seat. Rest In Peace soul brava.
Now, lemme go straight to the point, I absolutely love dumbos! They drive me crazy! Nuts! *no pun intended* A lot of people went hard in the “What men want” era, *side eye at Kelvin* and I found myself asking, do men really (REALLY) want a smart chick?

Really?

Smart chicks are hard to fool. And possessive smart chicks are the average guy’s worst nightmare! “Where were you? What have you been doing? Who were you with? I recorded all your phone conversations on my iPad, and I know who you’ve been talking to. I called Jay, and he said he hasn’t seen you all day. I left cameras in your office, you weren’t there. Don’t lie to me! I know when you’re lying! Your pupils dilate and your heart beats at the rate of 324 times every 90 seconds. And I crosschecked your call log. You said you tried my number and it wasn’t going? Well, I can’t see my number in there!”
Meanwhile, a brother just went to have shayo with the boys for the first time in 2 years.

You really don’t want that.

You want a dumb chick, a bimbo, a Barbie bimbo that goes with the trend and gets impressed when you string incoherent lengthy English words together and get on your Patrick Obahiagbon flow.
Trust me you do. Personal experience talking here.
I went out with this Somalian goddess of light once. She was lovely! Face like two goddesses had lesbian sex and produced her, body like an hour glass that was designed by the Sun god Ra himself, and the best part, was that I could bet that her IQ was negative. Dumber than a blonde that couldn’t speak!
I loved her.
We used to have fun going to various places; beaches, parks, and museums. Oh! Museums! I would get kicks off making my own explanation for different works of art and would mentally climax each time she went “You’re so smart! You know everything!”
One terrible, fateful day, we were texting and she saw the word “Schizophrenia” as my bbm status, and she asked me why it was my bbm stat. I said I thought I was coming down with it owing to the incomprehensible scribbling at the back of my notepad. She said it was not plausible, as schizophrenic patients don’t know that they have schizophrenia.

I was devastated! She used the word ‘plausible’!!

She had become smart!! Overnight? Nooo!!! We broke up two days (and two smart explanations) after. I lost that jewel. Painful shit I tell ya.
Dumb chicks do this thing to me that I don’t understand. They make me cum quicker. No be joke. Sexy, thick-cranium-possessing babes are an instant turn on. I notice them and I go gaga. A babe that I have to explain every joke to, a babe that I can lie to and get away with, a babe that thinks Insomnia is an Asian country, a babe I can practice my blank stare on, a ‘Barbie’.
I like my shawties block headed and proud of it!

I think that’s the end. I hope you were annoyed by the post. Remember not to visit this blog again, or you will see more posts like this, or worse!

You have been warned.

DisCLAIMER:
I mean everything I have said in this post! I don’t joke with my emotions. If you are a lovely bimbo and you have read up to this point, and in the back of your head, you’re going “I really fit the criteria, don’t I?” then please call this number 07036283749. Flash me till I don’t pick. :D. As usual, spell checking is for dummies, and all gbagauns are not mine. Please return them to their owners. Thank you.

Read more of @Terdoh’s stuff at http://www.terdoh.wordpress.com

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55 Comments

Posted by on August 7, 2011 in SunDaY GuEsT

 

55 responses to “BimBo!

  1. @TheRealAdonye

    August 7, 2011 at 2:01 pm

    Oops.. I’m 1st again..

     
  2. Genesis

    August 7, 2011 at 2:06 pm

    Lmao!!!!

     
  3. afrosays

    August 7, 2011 at 2:11 pm

    The idiot!
    One of my favorite people in the ville. You can have all the bimbos in the world, I’d stick to my smarties. Yes! the ones that know how fast my heart beats when I lie! I think that’s sexy!

     
  4. Sommyb

    August 7, 2011 at 2:18 pm

    2nd .. Comments after the match

     
  5. Lagos Hunter (@Lagoshunter)

    August 7, 2011 at 2:18 pm

    Bimbo’s are good for a fuck or two…..
    And they are as available as “Buy one, get one free”

    Nothing beats fucking an Engineering 1st Class graduate.
    She’d be on all fours giving you the doggie and saying
    “Fuck me daddy, I’ve being such a bad girl”

    Now that’s a real turn on,a bimbo couldn’t fake even if she wanted to…

     
    • highlandblue

      August 7, 2011 at 2:42 pm

      Talking from experience ehn hunter? The engineering 1st class tho, whooosh! *fanning self*

       
    • PreyingMantis

      August 9, 2011 at 6:21 am

      First class idiot. It’s “I’ve been”

       
  6. terdoh

    August 7, 2011 at 2:24 pm

    Hess Hem Hesh!

     
  7. ibetapassmynebo

    August 7, 2011 at 2:26 pm

    Insomnia…an asian country tho…
    Nt dscriminatin d bimbos…but jus fnk anyone who fnks they re turn ons..is jus a weak man!

     
  8. @TheRealAdonye

    August 7, 2011 at 2:36 pm

    Ur Somalian babe turned intelligent overnight? Something was wrong.. Did U ask ur Babalawo?

     
  9. papyrusczar

    August 7, 2011 at 2:40 pm

    LMAO
    Terdoh you are finished

     
  10. @ekwem

    August 7, 2011 at 2:42 pm

    hahahahaha. lagoshunter said it all. nice!

     
  11. Phransez Aj

    August 7, 2011 at 2:44 pm

    “…Face like two goddesses had lesbian sex and produced her…”! Lmho! Crazy!! Ve-reee nice. 🙂

     
  12. leeeMason

    August 7, 2011 at 2:44 pm

    lmaoooo!!!! Terdoo! Is that really your number? Smh…
    Good read *wipes tears*

     
  13. highlandblue

    August 7, 2011 at 2:44 pm

    Terdoh I assume all this is ur bachelor state right? Ok. Cos I wonder who you plan to settle down with. I laughed a lot at this post cos so many things here are not the real you. But no one can tell the difference anymore. And for that, I laugh a little less freely.

     
  14. terdoh

    August 7, 2011 at 2:47 pm

    @Adonye I didn’t! Maybe I should.
    @Papyrusczar: I know men. The knowledge of that fact is a terrible feeling.

     
  15. terdoh

    August 7, 2011 at 2:49 pm

    @Ibeta: You’re just jealous cos you’re smart. :p

    @Highlandblue: I can’t tell the difference anymore either.

     
  16. SlevinCalevra

    August 7, 2011 at 3:00 pm

    I will not visit this blog again, I believe Terdoh. There shall be no further commeents. *Blood of Jesus*

     
  17. goldie

    August 7, 2011 at 3:01 pm

    Hilarious!nyc 1!I enjoyed it.u r 1 funny guy.bad news dou.if ur mission was 2 reduce d humor bar on dis blog,u have failed miserably.lol.

     
  18. terdoh

    August 7, 2011 at 3:06 pm

    Larry Sushey! Thank you for your compliance.

    Leema: Yes it is. Gimme a call!

     
  19. @Kunta_LP_Kinte

    August 7, 2011 at 3:21 pm

    Am I the only one that feels that the fun of eventually having sex with a girl is the chase?.. Bimbos r good for rainy nights, when the smart chic tells u shit like “its rainin n its d same distance from ur house to my house, by the way its late”.

     
  20. Nutella.

    August 7, 2011 at 3:22 pm

    Err…*grabs Oxford Dictionary* …pl…plausible. Ok, moving on…I…in…insomnia…oh boy! I haff tire jare. *runs hands through blonde hair* I thot it was a post on Bimbola, now am seeing museum. No need to check for the meaning of museum, sebi its where they sell cars? Schi wetin? I can’t even pronounce the word. Its what people go through when they read blogs, and my friend was talking abt it as if it was as easy to read as Hints magazine or Ovation.
    Am definitely not coming here again. *reapplies Mac powder*.

     
  21. terdoh

    August 7, 2011 at 3:27 pm

    Nutella love, will you please call me?

     
  22. Didi

    August 7, 2011 at 3:34 pm

    Terdoo!!!! Your real number!!! *slave tears*
    now I remember “inception” X_X.
    Back to the post, You didn’t reduce no humour jare.
    “a babe that thinks Insomnia is an Asian country” … Have fun my dear friend *sniff*sniff*

     
  23. leonmacedon

    August 7, 2011 at 3:38 pm

    I love Bimbos ‘cos they present d shortest & surest route to d Pussy, but I’m easily bored wit 1, so dey don’t last more dan a month or 2… Wen it comes to long term relationships I tend 2 turn to d smarties…
    But with all d work & shet involved with a Smartie, Bimbos tend to be #Winning!

     
  24. cikk0

    August 7, 2011 at 3:41 pm

    “Dumber than a blond that can’t speak”??? Dude! Good smart stuff. And the dumb ones are eternally kinkier. I don’t know why…

     
    • Iyamilele

      August 8, 2011 at 8:10 am

      haha….its cause their pussy works faster than their brains

       
  25. ibetapassmynebo

    August 7, 2011 at 4:00 pm

    @ terdoh. I gues u heard wot @lagoshunter said…FUCK ME DADDY…FOR I HAV BEEN A BAD BAD BAD GIRL…Bimbos wud never fake dat..ds is epic…too bad u wud never get it!

     
  26. Nutella.

    August 7, 2011 at 4:02 pm

    @Terdoh: I have been flashing u since, u didn’t call back. Why? I hope u have a car sha. I only do rich guys oh. Oya, send me credit & call me oh.

     
  27. Kemmiiii

    August 7, 2011 at 4:10 pm

    Lol! this @terdoh is a crazy person!!
    Hehe! I haf been flashing you since o!

     
  28. @Wumie

    August 7, 2011 at 4:12 pm

    Teddy, Oh Teddy *sigh*

     
  29. theinsanephenom

    August 7, 2011 at 4:17 pm

    Terdo really? With all this country has bn through u think its wise to yab yoruba people?… Say no to tribalism… Ahn ahn,one whole post on Bimbo. U facking Benue boy!!

    Aii Ladies,hw many of u fancy blonde dudes??… I’m one.. 😀

     
    • Kevmeister

      August 7, 2011 at 7:15 pm

      Chike would forever be a nutcase…*sigh*

       
    • M

      August 8, 2011 at 12:26 am

      Your picture looks like a Gerald I know.

       
      • theinsanephenom

        August 9, 2011 at 11:25 pm

        I’m prolly the same person.

         
  30. @ThisBoyPerforms

    August 7, 2011 at 4:18 pm

    Terdoh! Terdoh!! Terdoh!!!
    How many times did I call you?!

    Anyways sha, lovely read…

     
  31. @basooh

    August 7, 2011 at 4:23 pm

    lwkmd 10k god I read dis afta d match. I wouldnt av concentrated. and we r still gonna come here so we r xpectin mor post like dis hehehe

     
  32. terdoh

    August 7, 2011 at 4:29 pm

    @Nutella and Kemi: my phone battery died, so the phone’s switched off. I’ll call you back (along with the other 215 missed calls I just had)

    And don’t sweat it, I’m broke. 😀

    Chyke: Heyssss! Don’t be trying to set P with my post! Only person allowed to do that here is Kelvin.

    BTW, where is Kelvin?

     
    • Kelvin

      August 7, 2011 at 4:34 pm

      I’m here…just watching. That’s what I do on days like this.

       
  33. MzChique

    August 7, 2011 at 4:43 pm

    Terdoh be encouraging ur boys to leave d smart gehls(like me)oh!And btw that’s not his real number jor!

     
  34. callmeayodeji

    August 7, 2011 at 5:07 pm

    lmao! @terdoh is sick mehn!! think insomnia is an Asian country?? lmaoo!!

     
  35. MzLucyM

    August 7, 2011 at 5:16 pm

    Heheh I love dis.. Err wat does I.Q mean? :s 😉

     
  36. alex

    August 7, 2011 at 5:31 pm

    I’m rolling! Literally! And then Nutellas response! I DIE!!!! Looooooool! ES EM HECH!!!!!

     
  37. jess

    August 7, 2011 at 5:31 pm

    I always knew u were psycho…didnt you even notice your godess said schizophrenics don’t know they have schizophrenia? That’s no dumb blonde o! Guess she was quite an actress to make you think She was a Bimbo…hehe
    Bt reali I tot this was about Bimbo(the yoruba girl?) Do I sense a sub?
    Nyc 1 though, now I have a clinic I would like you to visit for a check up,its in yaba,a little to the left! Ud thank me! 😉

     
  38. terdoh

    August 7, 2011 at 6:28 pm

    MzLucyM: I will explain the meaning of IQ when we meet. 😉

    Thanks for the phone call.

     
  39. Isley Sokudo-ryoku Vtania

    August 7, 2011 at 6:40 pm

    Nice one Terdo….Ball Jor CMIS for lyfe!!!!!

    However, i think i’ll stick to the smart ones. I honestly can’t bear the amount of shit that spew from the brains of bimbos and they always seem to wear this look….like some disemboweled person standing infront of an on-coming train, awaiting the inevitable and feeling giddy about it.

    Smart girls get everything. Forever on point like nipples at climax on a cold evening. *yeah i said it* I dont care if they know everything or want to know everything….as long as i know twice as much i’m fine. And if she be wanting to pull a trail and track on me, a simple A-class threat will suffice. Something along the line of “pull that stunt again and i’ll hack and delete your account” 🙂 She’ll get the gist that you roll with DefCon

    Sorry if i geeked out. Again, Nice one Terdo!!!!

     
  40. terdoh

    August 7, 2011 at 8:00 pm

    Leslie!!! Thanks for visiting this post Sensei! The comment couldn’t be more on point if it was sitting on a cactus!

    I still love my Bimbos tho.

     
  41. 0laToxic

    August 7, 2011 at 9:28 pm

    *sigh* So this is where the mad people live? I’ll be sure to steer clear henceforth. *pauses* I’ll be back later, my shrink says I should come get my shots *hobbles toward 8th floor window*…

     
  42. iamayology

    August 7, 2011 at 10:29 pm

    *Faints*

     
  43. terdoh

    August 8, 2011 at 5:49 am

    Jess: You just had to cut my joy short right? Killjoy!

    Olatoxic: I’m glad you’re heeding my warning.

     
  44. MissVersatile

    August 8, 2011 at 7:00 am

    nyc read…u shld, have to, MUST clear all doubts on d pronunciation of ur bimbo..i’ll suggest it rhymes wiv ‘akimbo’…

     
  45. PreyingMantis

    August 9, 2011 at 6:16 am

    Whoever said you were funny lied to you.

    You should compete with harmattan. Lame fuck

     
  46. coolprincee

    August 17, 2011 at 1:01 pm

    pardon my lateness i’m new 2 blogville 🙂
    forgive my preference i dont like dumb bitches 😐

    😉 splendid writing thou…good1
    smart gals re pains in d ass thou…talkin about knowing ow ur pupil dilates & d rate of heart beats u av when u lie, they just suck d life outta u

    @terdoh & @kevin u guyz re very funny dudes…i know it’s a compliment u get all d time…yeah yeah…i get it too 🙂

    keep d funny pens writing *thumbs up*

    http://www.coolprincee.wordpress.com
    http://www.twitter.com/coolprincee

     

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