16 Jul

3:05am Saturday, July 16th 2011

Ladies and Gentlemen on Twitter who ought to be sleeping but are not, probably because of these awards, No light hence major discomfort, have no beds cos you’ve been out clubbing or for whatever reason…The award for Most Humorous Blog goes to…

@naijablogawards: The Most Humourous Blog is KevinWithanL’s My Scroll…You Scroll… Visit

*applause applause applause*

*Winning ‘Team’ song plays* kpakorokpa kpakorokpa kpomkpom kporokpotom…Baby Sawaleh..

Walks up stage with #WithAnL fami_y and #TeamSawaleh

Wow! What a night this has been for me, I mean 8 hours ago, I was stuck in Oshodi wasn’t funny mehn.. who woulda ‘thunk’ that hours later I’ll be here receiving this award for Most Humorous Blog…lol
But anyways thanks are in order *clears throat* wait Mrs Organiser, amn’t I supposed to have like some plaque to hold while I make this speech? Why am I just clutching my kpalasa Curve 2? At least, give me a Bold 4 or sumn..

Ah well, first of all like everyone does (even though they sure as hell don’t mean it), I’ll like to thank God for being there for me (looks up at ceiling), then I wanna thank the lady who drove me to blogsville after breaking my heart in August, I also wanna thank ‘Barbie’ for giving me lotsa tales to write about in them early days while I was chasing her (yeah I didn’t get her) , mehn shit wasn’t even funny then! (Read Experience, Twitterave and older posts) Its weird how I’ve gone from ‘heart ranter’ to funny…

I shoulda prepared a list but you know how it can pain when you go through your pocket days from now and see that list and realise “kai! I didn’t win sha”..yeah..e can pain!
So I’m just doing this freestyle like Wizkid on the ‘Tease Me’ song..roit!

I wanna thank etisalat, MTN, glo and airtel for allowing people have access to the internet during the nomination n voting period..I know MTN guys didn’t find it easy but mehn 3K BIS cannot waste o!
ShoutOut to all the browsing cheat users, if not for your cheats, some opera mini fans would have dulled. All My SnapTu people, thank you..
Same goes to my yahoo yahoo boys with multiple e-mail addresses (I DON’T know you o) but weldone and I hail!

Shout Out to all my Twitter people who voted, mehn, couldn’t have done this without you, all those who RT’ed, nominated and subsequently cast their vote! Like Nigeria to the IMF, I’m in your debt…emm..when 9ja clears its debt, I’ll consider paying mine too πŸ˜€
My guys are definitely the best, taking out time to ‘advertise’ the voting links and categories on yours…all those who kept my blog rolling with their guest articles; Bee, Slevin and Bule..thanks…grateful doesn’t quite cut it! Bless your hearts

To fellow nominees, I woulda loved to say ‘I feel u’ but I don’t! Ha! In your face suckers!!! *dougies* Just kidding lol…without you, there’s no me! Haha! #winning!!! Kelvin behave!! God go make you bigger? No? Keep doing you jare..Y’all rock #NoRolling

And Lastly, those who hate, emmm…yes I didn’t get any cash award (damn!) Neither did I get a new BB (this is a coded plea) but in the immortal words of Nas “you wanna hate me, then hate me, what can I do?” Quit hating and famz while opportunity _asts #WithanL! Oh and thanks for making #WithanL become a world trending brand!

Is this the part where I tell y’all that I promise to do better and churn out more nice stuff? Well emmm..I pray o! Cos my laziness these days can only be matched by D’prince reciting nursery rhymes in place of a thought up verse! But I’ll try sha

So Dear Organisers, im’ma stop here but allow me sha, HOW ON EARTH DID @thetoolsman NOT WIN ANYTHING?

Keep it coming bruv…To me and plenty others, you ARE our BLOGGER OF THE YEAR!

Comments/Answers/Theories anyone?

*#TeamSawaleh out..kpakorokpa kpakorokpa*


Posted by on July 16, 2011 in Life


53 responses to “WinNinG

  1. kemmiiii

    July 16, 2011 at 8:17 am

    First πŸ˜€

    • kemmiiii

      July 16, 2011 at 8:18 am


    • Kelvin

      July 16, 2011 at 8:29 am

      You, my dear deserve an award for being first on a day like this…emmm…*looks around* emm…CECE!!!

      • kemmiiii

        July 16, 2011 at 9:08 am

        Yaay! *waiting for my award*

  2. Deola

    July 16, 2011 at 8:19 am

    Kevin #WithAnL
    You need help
    And I was mad @thetoolsman didn’t win anything! That chuapa chups woman is def on the committee!
    Congrats again on your award! πŸ˜€

  3. honeysucklebelle

    July 16, 2011 at 8:20 am

    Lolz! Congratulations despite no new money or bb. U deserve d award.
    Err…u didn’t thank a certain siren o!

    • Kelvin

      July 16, 2011 at 8:31 am

      Emmm…she’s an integral part of the matter and err..let’s just say that she’s got special thanks coming up!

  4. @basooh

    July 16, 2011 at 8:24 am

    Lmfao at d prince part,dere is a reason i kip coming to dis b_og #withanL* big ups to ke_vin #withanL yes we _ike u #withanL and y didnt Too_sman #withanL win oh cos i voted 4 him#withanL* big ups to ke_vin #withanL yes we _ike u #withanL and y didnt Too_sman #withanL win oh cos i voted 4 him

  5. kemmiiii

    July 16, 2011 at 8:24 am

    Theory: Chutzpah is related to that Big Man In Ota! Hian!
    TheToolsman is the blogger of the year…they lied..
    Im happy I stayed awake for the blog awards…it was fun…but
    How did Chutzpah do it??

  6. kemmiiii

    July 16, 2011 at 8:24 am

    Theory: Chutzpah is related to that Big Man In Ota! Hian!
    TheToolsman is the blogger of the year…they lied..
    m happy I stayed awake for the blog awards…it was fun…but
    How did Chutzpah do it??

    • Kelvin

      July 16, 2011 at 8:38 am

      Oh! That guy? But I thot she’s
      She does write good, can’t take that away from her, me I’m biased with my boy sha…but who am I to judge?

      • kemmiiii

        July 16, 2011 at 9:10 am

        Lool…she dosent look Indian…Yeah she writes well but dosent really know how to use paragraphs..
        Shey! it is well!

  7. zizi

    July 16, 2011 at 8:25 am

    Don’t mean to cast sha but erm…i’ve never really thought toolsman was all that

  8. Pha't

    July 16, 2011 at 8:25 am


  9. missbeemuse

    July 16, 2011 at 8:26 am

    But Ο„Ρ’Ξ΅ organisers did not try,only Ο„Ρ’Ξ΅ title?! Oh well…(Y)

  10. JPurkinD

    July 16, 2011 at 8:31 am

    *holding 2 by 2 plank* Nice 1 dude…Congrats one again.
    Riley.Musa&Preyingmantis being part of the award commitee happened to be Tools nightmare. Tools should kip doin his thing, He’s the CHAIRMAN!!!

  11. HUGOverified

    July 16, 2011 at 8:34 am

    Congratz bro

  12. musingsofagidimallam

    July 16, 2011 at 8:43 am

    *Dances onto the stage singin “Waka waka baby”*
    Hmmmn…first off…congratu_ations #WithAnL! U deserved it bruv. N to the rest of our blogfam that didn’t win, Dania, Panda, Afrosays, ThinkTank, congrats all the same.
    As for TheToolsman’s case…I believe my view on d matter has been expressed adequately on twitter. Blogger of the Year, by miles to me is still darrizal!!!
    *Gets off d stage licking Chupa Chups n drinking tasty time* Zobo drinking will return after dis farce no longer irks me.

    • Kelvin

      July 16, 2011 at 8:47 am

      *rolling in the deep* Licking Chupa Chups? Eleyii ma ga ga’an…no Zobo too? This is clearly mourning!
      That site right there is the TRUTH! Thazzal

    • Giagerry

      July 16, 2011 at 5:33 pm

      This Chupa chups wont be the death of You oooo!! LooooL!!

  13. 0latoxic

    July 16, 2011 at 8:44 am

    As a #TeamSawaleh high chieftain, I would like to congrabulate this our Sawaleh fe__ow with #With2Ls. Definitely well deserved.

    But make we no lie sha, this is not just #WinNinG this is #GloaTinG!

    *exits stage left dancing to the official soundtrack*
    … Kpom kpom kporokotom…

    • Kelvin

      July 16, 2011 at 8:49 am

      See this G_oat (er) #withanL.. I shall deal with you in the foyer

  14. ibetapassmynebo

    July 16, 2011 at 8:46 am

    Like I told kev this morning…d CHUPA CHUPS woman is part of the committee and organizers…this is from an inside source…
    But wot I deduced is that she purposely put herself in all categories with toolsman so that they would win and make her blog popular…..C’Mon CHUPACHUPS has jus 114 ffers and the highest comment on her blog is what…..13! A whole fucking 13 comments…..or is it a coincidence that there was a post about “TWITTER BLOGGERS”…..FUCK MEHHNNNN AM TAKING ANOTHER HIATUS……KEVIN WithAnL…MALTINA OR LACASERA WOULD DO DURING DAT PERIOD!

  15. desola1

    July 16, 2011 at 9:04 am

    Congratulations Kelvin.and I concur a 100%…to us the toolsman is the blogger of the year!

  16. BragginRightz

    July 16, 2011 at 9:08 am

    πŸ˜€ :p Well, I’m happy U didn’t _ose #WithAnL the award,but now that u’ve worn,thr’s no peace.. Maybe somebdy shd s_ap #WithAnL U and we’ll hear word.

  17. Sonia

    July 16, 2011 at 9:12 am

    Just title? Serzly? Not even BIS @least? Nd toolsman not winning? Not evn 1? Well dats jst fucked up. Congrats Kelv. Well deserved.

  18. cecenostockings

    July 16, 2011 at 9:13 am

    Fuck you Kelvin! So, if I hadn’t snuck away from my househelp duties, I wouldn’t have seen this? I hope lightening strikes your left nyash!!!

    • Kelvin

      July 16, 2011 at 9:31 am

      But cece, what would be left of me if that happens? One butt cheek isn’t exactly winning you know! That’s like eba with no soup…oya sorry…now comment!

  19. iamsamsie

    July 16, 2011 at 9:27 am

    So who is chupachups?

  20. @bule_jr

    July 16, 2011 at 9:35 am

    I got mentioned! Yay!! Congratulations and all the best in future posts. #teamsawaleh rules.

  21. @Qurr

    July 16, 2011 at 9:46 am

    Congratulations mate! More to come!!

  22. chukyjunior

    July 16, 2011 at 9:47 am

    *still playing Nwa baby in my head*
    All I can say is dat Victory is sweet, thankfully tho it’s sugar-free, so no diabetes! I’v said it on twitter, I’ll say it here again; C O N G R A T U L A T I O N S bro!!! Such things don’t seem as a big do UNTIL u WIN something by ursef #withAnL!!
    I’mma hv 2 check out dat chick dat won in thetoolsman’s category’s blog. It’s either she’s THAT AWESOME or we failed in our duties as voters.

  23. hamhead007

    July 16, 2011 at 9:47 am

    Congatulazhun bra … *milo clap* keep it up

  24. hamhead007

    July 16, 2011 at 9:49 am


  25. wordsofanaries

    July 16, 2011 at 9:57 am

    O_luwaKe_vin #WithAnL #WithAnAdditionalL…congrats dude. As you know, without us ur guest blogges, no one woulda known you. But we do like the fact that you are grateful sha lol. Keep up the good work man…again, more ‘grease’ 2 ur fingers.

    and yea, no matter what, Tula still has the best blog around. I think it was a calculated move to generate more visitors for Chutzpah’s blog. It makes no difference thoe, he still rocks! Bee!

  26. pheary

    July 16, 2011 at 10:40 am

    Congrats love….

  27. slimsiren

    July 16, 2011 at 11:46 am

    Hahahaha!! Kelvin, you are an unfried ‘bons’. See this boy o! You get liver!

    I’m uber proud of you hun…

    …and i probably should go check the Chutzpah blog. I’m quite surprised to find out Tula didn’t win.

    • Kelvin

      July 16, 2011 at 7:02 pm

      Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you the wind beneath my wings, the only one who has taken all the shots tossed left, right and center for me…(Like y’all don’t know already) about catching grenades!

      I must confess I stupidly left her out of my list, Stupid *bangs head on wall* and I’ve regretted this action all day. This isn’t remedial…This is letting all who don’t and who do know that..with or without an award or recognition, ada is one person whose opinions matter to me. She’s the Smile, the strength, sometimes the pain but in all, my girl..

      Thank you B..

  28. Afrosays

    July 16, 2011 at 2:22 pm

    Happy this vote didn’t waste.
    I love coming here and I’m missing some of the earlier stuff I fell in love with.

    Happy. Very.

    • Kelvin

      July 16, 2011 at 6:46 pm

      Tnanks for voting bro..

      Point me back in the direction where I had u, I’ll be more than happy to retrace my steps and please you.. πŸ˜€

      • terdoh

        October 10, 2011 at 3:29 pm


  29. MzLucyM

    July 16, 2011 at 3:56 pm

    Congrats hun. U totally deserve it . (y)

  30. ThinkTank!

    July 16, 2011 at 5:42 pm

    CongratulationsL. And jubilationsL. With celebrationsL. In our nationsL. #WithByforceL

    At least, someone I voted for won! BB abi? There is nothing God cannot do. Watch and pray.

    And for all y’all using the term i coined, its “Chutzpah chuppsβ„’” – which refers to the trait or ability to triumph even above obviously better candidates, by hook or crook or magic.

    I guess Kelvin has some chutzpah chopps eh? :p

    Kung-Rats again jor.

    • Kelvin

      July 16, 2011 at 6:42 pm

      Oh! There sure is nothing God can’t do! I’m just seeking the vessel..
      “Chutzpah chupps” is now the official trademark eh? Seen…and no I don’t have any, all I used was the soap @sheriphskills gave me to bath with..


  31. SlevinCalevra

    July 16, 2011 at 6:02 pm

    Congrats bro. I’m only just reading this post too. God will make you bigger jare and all other good bloggers out there… Truth is as the rest of the guys I voted for didn’t win, we should all keeping winning with quality posts jare!
    Afterall, I don’t think y’all started the blogs for recognition…
    Now going to p_ank #WithAnL.

    • Kelvin

      July 16, 2011 at 6:44 pm

      You are on point bruv…creativity can’t be stiffled. Infact an award comes with recognition and expectation, and where natural ability fails, na die be that o!

      Its what happens from here onwards that justifies..


  32. juwa

    July 16, 2011 at 7:33 pm

    Congrats kelv!!!

  33. bolouere

    July 16, 2011 at 10:40 pm

    Rotflmao!!!see y I nominated u?feels good to know votes counted during bloggers awards unlike some countries election..#okbye

  34. terdoh

    July 16, 2011 at 11:56 pm

    Some things cannot be _eft unsaid, some awards cannot be _eft ung_oated and some baba_awos must be punished for Tu_a’s missing awards!

    Ke_vin, I pray that this is the first of many more awards to come. I no go _ie, I jea_ous die! More ogbono to your eba.

    And in the spirit of famzing, One day, I hope to be on the blog too.

    Make I stop before I say anything, or do the wizkid and gbagaun. #WithAnL

    Disclaimer: All grammatical errors are mine. Thank you.

  35. OpeyemiWealthAdebayo

    July 17, 2011 at 9:25 pm

    Congrats on your award. You are a very funny dude.


    July 18, 2011 at 3:42 pm

    LOL! so Kelvin, you didn’t acknowledge me eh?

    Am I not your major inspiration? all those mornings and nights you spent with you head buried deeply in my..ahem…were those not when you had your aha moments and inspirations to write? *side eye* for this slight, you are hereby banned from the mansion for at least 2 weeks! lemme see if you can do without my HEADings.

    • terdoh

      October 10, 2011 at 3:32 pm

      Funny….I don’t get any sexual vibes from this…

  37. The Relentless Builder

    July 18, 2011 at 3:53 pm

    Congrats! It’s my first time here and it’s not hard to see why you won!

    LOL @ kpakorokpa….Now, that will be playing in my head all day, thanks to you!


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