MusT ReaD

12 Jul

Wow! What a weekend!!! I don’t know where to start, how to proceed or even where to drop anchor (lol)…but anyways, allow me say here that y’all made my weekend most memorable. For those visiting here for the second time (many visited on saturday), here’s the bell of bless 4u..*gbagaun gbagaun* 😀 all new followers on Twitter, do hola for a follow back 😀 #TeamSawaleh you guys rock pieces! S/0 to @FreshPrinzVick @MallamSawyerr @OlaToxic @SlimSiren @StephHailey @d3ola and all those who came through (the rains and flood) @Thetoolsman weldone o! Shebi TheToolswoman ‘rocked your boat’ shall be summoned!

Anyway, I ain’t writing catchy Topic eh? 😀 …here’s a piece from a great guy and brother..potential Sawaleh recruit..calls himself the “Love Doctor” hmm…Ladies, Gentlemen and things we can’t describe..its @bule_jr

Firstly let me thank @kevinWithanL for giving me an opportunity to add a scroll to this scroll.I was brought up well and taught to introduce myself whenever I was in front of a new audience if not na slap go follow, so I am Oluwafemi Adebule but from here on @bule_jr will be preferable.My Dear Rosebuds. *picks up pen from basket of Love*Kelvin has the funniest blog around and I write on relationships so when I got this invite I thought, I have to mix both of them with this blender of a brain I’ve got and what came out was #theawkwardmoment.On Twitter this #haRsh# tag has been thoroughly bastardised and half of those tweets are not even awkward, anyway that is not my forté, let Kelvin write on that another day.

But I am not talking about that. I am talking about those little awkward moments before you get intimate for the first time with someone you REALLY like. *if it wasn’t awkward for you, it means you are a very good badt guy and you shouldn’t be reading this post, you need a baba/uselu to pray for you* *adjusts halo and sips holier than thou juice*You don’t know what I’m still on about? Let me give you a few Seeeeenarios.

1. You have chased this girl for months, and after ‘catching’ her and hanging out a number of times you feel the need to err get ‘closer’ and exchange the product of your salivary gland. You drive her home and as you start to lean in, you decide to go left and she goes right and your foreheads do the first kissing *OUCH*. She says goodnight and giggles away. You drive home with not only a bruised head but a deflated spirit. Try again next time. :p

2. Lets assume you get beyond first base. As its your first kiss you are in deep thought whether to ‘tap current’ or not. You don’t want to be to forward and look like a desperate kind of guy. Your hands end up being in the ‘planking position’ throughout. That’s #winning.

3. Or you have planned the entire day in your head. Go to the spa for a massage, have some Chinese lunch, a movie and a nice dinner at the waterfront and then over some red wine you guys magically share that kiss and VOILA the Chinese you had for lunch gives her food poisoning and you have to cut everything short and take her home. #moneyhaswastedAnyway, these things happen. If they never did happen to you, it means you became a very bad guy at a young age and your case is now in the hands of the gods. 

Moving on, Let me do a bit of my stuff.  I have tried with the humour abi? If you don’t think its was funny, go plank on a hard set of nails. L. you’ve hurt my E.G.O.Talking about E.G.O.I was very late in reading Thetoolsman post on E.G.O and didn’t want to share a comment since I though it should drive a discussion I will share a few things.

By the way my close friend @banxman(afro says) calls me the love doctor, let me see if I can prove him right.Intelligence, Intelligence, Intelligence. What does it mean? How is it measured?  There are no intelligence scales on which you can weigh up a potential P and know whether you or the other person are compromising on who is more intelligent, or who has a vast depth of knowledge.The only thing that should count at the onset for me is chemistry and physical attraction.

After meeting and hanging out, you then find out what’s on the inside and whether the P is worth setting.I’ve seen people go to Ivy league schools home and abroad who are Olodos so trust me, there is no way of telling from a Facebook profile page oo. Eh ehn!! You have been warned.There’s a theory that in all relationships there is a reacher and a settler.Reacher: someone that is obviously ‘reaching’ for someone above their league.Settler: someone that’s settling for another below their usual standards.I say: BOLLOCKS. Absolute BOLLOCKS.Cant people just like one another and their social status and standing not be a factor?No 2 people are ever going to be on the same level. #dontarguejustacceptitCan you have equal intelligence? Equal Finances? Equal Travel experience? Equal knowledge? NOT POSSIBLE.

What makes a relationship for me is that you find someone in whom you do not have to form with and at all times you can just be you.Who cares if she has more money than you? As long as she ‘Genuinely’ likes you and doesn’t rub it in your face and respects and understands you, it shouldn’t ideally bring up any problem.You can see I said Ideally right? Because I know it doesn’t work that way.But as long as you have a plan for yourself and know are going somewhere you will and should be fine.

The problem is the upbringing we have had ensured that too much is expected from the man and women were expected to sit back and just watch. Times have changed albeit slowly but it has so catch up and stop living in the 19th century. By the way, CHI isn’t dead to me. Its in  an ice chamber cooling off.She likes Africa Magic and you are willing to watch a few ‘pointless’ Nollywood movies with her? And so?  If she watches the EPL with me walahi talahi we are cool and good to go.Guys: Do NOT go for a bimbo, you will tire soon enough. Find a girl that challenges you, a girl that will make you want to get more knowledge and upgrade yourself. Such that even if it ends you will easily look back and know the next girl that gets you is getting a better person.Girls:

Many admitted to liking a guy that is more intelligent, my advice is: its cool but don’t just sit there and waste away. Learn something from him. Find out what he likes that’s totally out of character for you and seek to understand it e.g. soccer, superbowl, NBA and Tennis. Trust me we really like the effort put in, and even though you might still not get it, you will have a whole new meaning to us. 😀

So I’m done. Two distinct issues but very entertaining to discuss.My take on the 2nd issue is fact, don’t argue with me, you can never win oh. Just concur and get gala and la caséra.So what awkward moments have you had when about to be intimate?What’s your take on the whole relationship issue?Feel free to share them. Its supposed to be fun. Or so I am told.

Please no comments like ‘First’ or (Y).. say something. You can’t be that boring. 😀 @bule_jr / love doctor signs out. *drops pen into basket of love*.Fades into sunset.Bye Rosebuds


Posted by on July 12, 2011 in RantDom


70 responses to “MusT ReaD

  1. d3ola

    July 12, 2011 at 9:03 am

    Rosebuds? Basket of love?
    I give up!
    Entertaining and awesome post!

  2. ibetapassmynebo

    July 12, 2011 at 9:04 am

    And u still send DMs to cece…mtcheeew

    • @bule_jr

      July 12, 2011 at 9:18 am

      They were ‘special DMs’ so why you hating?

    • Kelvin

      July 12, 2011 at 9:46 am

      Oh wow!!!

  3. Cleo

    July 12, 2011 at 9:06 am


  4. Cleo

    July 12, 2011 at 9:13 am

    Damn it! Might as well go and read it properly…

  5. eagiddy

    July 12, 2011 at 9:15 am

    Whew!!! So I finally finished reading the post the blood of Jesu!! And I can so argue with you and win(u can keep ur gala and stuff) hehehe. Plus I wld need a whole post to air my tots on the whole relationship issue..real nice post and I like.

    • @bule_jr

      July 12, 2011 at 9:25 am

      You don’t learn ba? You can’t win. LOL.

  6. d3ola

    July 12, 2011 at 9:18 am

    I was first!!!!!

  7. Art Guiness

    July 12, 2011 at 9:19 am

    After sippin *holier than thou juice*, u will use dat same mouth to eat *forbidden fruit* abii??

    • afrosays

      July 13, 2011 at 2:46 am

      Don’t mind the clown oh!

  8. Dhamyhan

    July 12, 2011 at 9:23 am

    Nice all-encompassing albeit R-12 post………..wen is smbody gonna write on d ‘walk of shame’……….and d Mornin of self gratified conquest(dudes only) – @dhamyhan

  9. Art Guiness

    July 12, 2011 at 9:26 am

    Nice and thoughtful post tho…

  10. Lucrezia @Mizz_starzz

    July 12, 2011 at 9:28 am

    Guys don’t go for ‘bimbos’ (bimbo here meaning airhead/or gurls who are all looks and no brain, not ur average Bimbo (yoruba gurl). Jus thot to point out that distinction. Now be honest, you didn’t know that now, did you?

    • @bule_jr

      July 12, 2011 at 9:50 am

      Choi!!! How won’t I know what it means? *shaves head and pours ashes*. You again have insulted my E.G.O. LOL

  11. Michael Ayodeji

    July 12, 2011 at 9:41 am

    Really enjoyed this, great stuff!!

  12. SlevinCalevra

    July 12, 2011 at 9:54 am

    First I am NOT a rosebud.
    I think I’m experienced enough to know that money never wastes. It’s a means to an end that will always be met if you do not screw up. Also never lean in for the kiss unless you’re sure you’ll get kissed back. All I can imagine is #Edeypain.
    Now to my awkward mo. There was this one chic I thot was ‘feeling the boi eh…’ After many washing, I took her to my then new car and attempted to kiss. Omo, the gal just dey rebuff all my moves. She got out of the car and called another nigga mehn… Me just blamed it on the alcohol and restrategised.
    She ended up on my bed that night… Now that’s #winning!

    • Kelvin

      July 12, 2011 at 10:45 am

      But why are you like this ehn?

    • @bule_jr

      July 12, 2011 at 10:46 am

      Why are you like this? LOOL

    • highlandblue

      July 12, 2011 at 11:22 am

      Why oh why are u like this? And was it these lips I see here that u were trying to make her kiss?

      • SlevinCalevra

        July 12, 2011 at 6:23 pm

        Yes. Any other lips are counterfeit.

    • 0latoxic

      July 12, 2011 at 6:10 pm

      *sigh* Why are you like this?!… He’s a Sushey for crying out loud! Why are the three of you like this?…

  13. Yemi VI

    July 12, 2011 at 10:07 am

    You hit the nail i was going to plank on right on the head. Too many people stay giving rules about who and who can and should date…it kills the logic in all of it. Great post.

  14. @eromzy

    July 12, 2011 at 10:09 am

    Nice write up.

  15. KobbyJR

    July 12, 2011 at 10:11 am

    You hit the nail i was going to plank on right on the head. Too many people stay giving rules about who and who can and should date…it kills the logic in all of it. Great post.

  16. slimsiren

    July 12, 2011 at 10:15 am

    So not setting P with a bimbo would eliminate early awkward moments…I see..I’m learning mehn.

    • @bule_jr

      July 12, 2011 at 11:36 am

      I did not say that oh!!! Eh ehn? You are on your own if you believe that. :p

  17. @eromzy

    July 12, 2011 at 10:18 am

    Hahahaha. @SlevinCalevra. U funny as hell mehn! Na so oh..

  18. TheMushite

    July 12, 2011 at 10:39 am

    Lmao!! @ imagining a first kiss with hands in a planking position!! @bule_jr managed 2 nail d blend btw comical & educative! Nice post… @chukyjunior

  19. HUGOverified

    July 12, 2011 at 11:43 am

    Nice One

  20. okhaihov

    July 12, 2011 at 12:08 pm

    Wow, well I’ve had my fair share of awkward moments! Can never forget this one time I took this girl home after visiting me, we stood by my car, me thinking… ‘How am I gonna go ’bout that first kiss’? As a sharp guy, I went “The Whole 10 yard” only to get a good night tap on my cheek and in her words “…Not so Fast”.

    • @rinolee

      July 12, 2011 at 3:33 pm

      Lol. Very awkward d babe was really smart.

    • @bule_jr

      July 12, 2011 at 4:43 pm

      God bless you for this comment LOL. People were supposed to share awkward moments and not just say (Y), Nice post and stuff. Thank you

  21. Sandie Pandie

    July 12, 2011 at 12:18 pm

    “and exchange the product of your salivary gland.” Inyamakata *now humming* Kpom kpom kporokotom

  22. reed

    July 12, 2011 at 1:30 pm

    wait..why are y’all lying to this young man that this post was IS NOT..u just muddled up posts from toolsman’s’blog in here..and u contradicted yourself a lot
    Why are you telling us what u did during the weekend..ease up on the team sawaleh isnt it just a song??
    Well asusual asskissers wud always kiss ass.carryon

  23. TheExtrovertKid

    July 12, 2011 at 3:37 pm

    *clears throat* May I just point out that some guys don’t experience first-time headjams when they try to, as you put it so mildly, exchange saliva. Not that I would know much about this, being a kid. ¯\..(•͡.̮ •͡ )../¯. All in all, a nice post by Femi as usual. And nice host work by Kelvin. (Y)

  24. honeysucklebelle

    July 12, 2011 at 4:40 pm

    The things people find awesome eh? Kelvin where did u get this brother from now

  25. @Qurr

    July 12, 2011 at 6:04 pm

    Thumbs up, @bule_jr.

    People, think about this: if you find Mr / Miss perfect then of what use will you be in his/her life? Even if you find a perfect person, you won’t be perfect for him or her in turn. Just be you, and work at making your special person a better one (whether it lasts or not) and in the process of making them better them you will be bettering yourself too.

    Iron sharpens iron, says the Good Book…

    • inesqoremis

      July 12, 2011 at 6:04 pm

      Urgh. Forgot to use my usual email address so my gravatar didn’t show up. 😉

      • 0latoxic

        July 12, 2011 at 8:31 pm


    • @bule_jr

      July 13, 2011 at 5:10 am

      Thank you. *comment of the day* LOL

  26. 0latoxic

    July 12, 2011 at 6:19 pm

    Ok, so y’all aint no Preying mantises or Rileys… get a move on. Plus it’s kinda obvious you’re the same person… Either that or you both oscillate on the same frequncy of mediocre…. Pfft

  27. Lagos Hunter

    July 12, 2011 at 7:58 pm

    Some guys like bimbos hence the term “trophy wife”…..they like the idea of balling a babe whose only ambition in life is…………….to be a babe.

  28. musingsofagidimallam

    July 12, 2011 at 9:24 pm

    Gotta admit tho…Bule this was long mehn…No awkwards for me as yet…so I guess I’ll pass on that one…as for your take on E.G.O…I pretty much agree with all you said…

    • @bule_jr

      July 13, 2011 at 4:58 am

      no awkward moments ke? sorry for it being long, :D. it wont happen again. . LOL

  29. DJ Niro

    July 12, 2011 at 10:19 pm

    this is one adviceI’m gonna heed to… nice 1 there

  30. kemmiiii

    July 13, 2011 at 12:18 am

    Havent had any awkward moments yet….
    Nice read…

    PS: Keep you Lacasera to yourself…call me when you have Cway Peach :D..

    • @bule_jr

      July 13, 2011 at 4:46 am

      I have Cway iced tea. will that be ok? oya hit me up LOL!!!

  31. missbeemuse

    July 13, 2011 at 12:25 am

    LOL! Nice piece! Totally agree with the relationship part…(Y)
    Looks like it’s only the boys that can share awkward moments…
    #InOtherNews I watch the EPL,I’m a die hard Man Utd Fan (#TeamFergie) and I watch when Nigeria is playing too + small NBA…plenty points for me right? 😀

    @”Oscillate on the same frequency of mediocre”-Wow! This is all kinds of deep! LOL!

    • @bule_jr

      July 13, 2011 at 4:48 am

      My Kinda girl, whats your twitter handle, we musto set P. but girls can have awkward moments too. right?

      • 0latoxic

        July 13, 2011 at 8:22 am

        Yo, dude, move over… Ehen, babe, your twitter handle…

  32. afrosays

    July 13, 2011 at 2:54 am

    I don’t call them awkward moments.
    As a megasharp guy, I’ve learned that it’s better to move fast and play over the bar than not to move at all. #YouNeverKnow And learning from Slevin, I shall now, from henceforth, blame it on the percentages.

    Bule, fair attempt but your writing needs to move up some notches, that’s a honest comment from a close friend.

    • @bule_jr

      July 13, 2011 at 4:50 am

      LOL….oshay i went out of character for the first time so it definitely wasnt gonna be all that. Thanks

  33. Miss Em

    July 13, 2011 at 4:07 am

    Hmmn femi dis was a bit short 4 u o,was sad2 see it end. @olatoxic dey PARA!!!…dis one time we gt 2 kissing and den dude pauses 4 some reason and proceeds 2 lick my face, had 2 stop him ryt there. Needless 2 say, he neva gt a 2nd chance @ a kiss talkless of a hand shake

    • @bule_jr

      July 13, 2011 at 4:53 am

      gheun gheun. LOL. kiss your face ke? isnt it dogs that do that?

    • 0latoxic

      July 13, 2011 at 7:00 pm

      Dehn, dehn, dehn… Emem, I wul tell ya mummy for yooouuuuuu…….

  34. mskoyn

    July 13, 2011 at 9:13 am

    I like that social status or finances should form the boundary of a relationship. But then again, that’s in an ideal situation. Fact: ideal situations don’t particularly exist anymore cs whether one would like to admit or not, being superficial in in-born or it develops naturally and “crushes” the ideal

  35. jael

    July 13, 2011 at 11:32 am

    First of, I’m NOT a rosebud.. That’s just ewww.. *shudder*
    So learning something from whomever you’re with (Y)..
    Nice post.. 🙂

  36. MissVersatile

    July 13, 2011 at 7:46 pm

    beautiful post….*stealing the basket of love* (need dat pen)>>>ciao

  37. ThinkTank

    July 14, 2011 at 11:58 am

    Really sharp guys take awkward moments and use them as pivots for awesomeness. Example:
    After lengthy discussion on a cornucopia of topics
    Me: Would you like too kiss me?
    Babe(option1): NO
    Me: Well, I didn’t say you could. Why were u just staring at my mouth so much?
    Babe (option2): I’m not sure
    Me: *kisses her* *no touching*
    Babe(option3): YES
    Me: *kisses her* *taps small current*
    In all cases, #winning

    • dhamyhan

      July 14, 2011 at 12:56 pm

      Now how does d first scenario qualify as winning?…… U’d be surprised at d replies she could give u on dat one….I’d say d situation just became even awkward-er

      • ThinkTank!

        July 14, 2011 at 9:10 pm

        Well, not really. she gave you Ela, you gave her Ela right back. I call that winning, or at the very least, equalizing.

  38. Kesh

    July 14, 2011 at 1:12 pm

    @ThinkTank “Pivots for awesomeness” yeah? Okay. I can’t really recall what the post was about. But i remember thinking,..”lol. he’s mildly funny” .

  39. leonmacedon

    July 15, 2011 at 12:28 pm

    BIMBOS, -girls who God lavish with beauty ‘n endowments but thought that brains wud be a luxury they wudn’t need…. err, wat did yu was wrong with dem?
    To my awkward mo, fuck first base! I wz about to make a killing. In a room 4 our first rush job, d clothes were alredy off, I pick up my wallet to grab a condom, BOOM! dere’s none, my bro has stolen it

  40. yeancaah

    July 16, 2011 at 8:17 am

    Brilliant post!! As for me though,I believe a guy would know when a girl likes him already,so I prefer not to be asked before being kissed cos if you ask me,I’ll say NO even if I desperately wanna kiss you:p And yea,paying attention to soccer really helped me!

  41. innocute

    July 19, 2011 at 1:48 am

    My awkward moment? Ok dis my ‘friend’ (we weren’t officially dating yet at the time) was wrapped all around me,all cozy nd stuff,we were gisting nd he’d lose track of the convo…I had to keep reminding him now,as a last carrier nd confirm olodo I had no idea he wanted to kiss me,I mean he’s my friend nd I’m used to being in his arms ryt? ..sooo anyway we wur gisting nd next thin I know his lips wur at the corner of mine about to descend…I was in shock!I jst pushed him away nd ran off giggling,I didnt know he was about to kiss me na ¯\..(•͡.̮ •͡ )../¯ sha d next tym we met nd he brot it up it was v.awkward bt we found a way to jst joke nd laugh about it nd ended up locking lips majorly 😀 that was d beginning of a beautiful thing *sigh*

  42. Zeezam

    July 19, 2011 at 1:49 am

    My awkward moment? Ok dis my ‘friend’ (we weren’t officially dating yet at the time) was wrapped all around me,all cozy nd stuff,we were gisting nd he’d lose track of the convo…I had to keep reminding him now,as a last carrier nd confirm olodo I had no idea he wanted to kiss me,I mean he’s my friend nd I’m used to being in his arms ryt? ..sooo anyway we wur gisting nd next thin I know his lips wur at the corner of mine about to descend…I was in shock!I jst pushed him away nd ran off giggling,I didnt know he was about to kiss me na ¯\..(•͡.̮ •͡ )../¯ sha d next tym we met nd he brot it up it was v.awkward bt we found a way to jst joke nd laugh about it nd ended up locking lips majorly 😀 that was d beginning of a beautiful thing *sigh* 🙂

  43. @1Demola

    August 5, 2011 at 11:31 pm

    Well, how about age difference? Cos that’s a MAJOR ish

  44. @1Demola

    August 5, 2011 at 11:33 pm

    And @bule_jr Nice stuff btw


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