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DISCLAIMER: This post is one of those ‘what tha hell’ kinda posts! If you are able to read and make sense out of this then…you are officially as…ah well, it was inspired by an old post done long ago by @exschoolnerd
Have you ever wondered how life would be if all parts of your body could talk? What would they say and stuff? Well there was a meeting in ‘HeadQuarters’ recently..if you don’t know what ‘headquarters’ is about, please scroll dowwwwnnn and read the post ‘In my Head’…so, me, myself and I decided to see how this would work. Here is the result.
“Ladies and Gentlemen and beings that we can’t really place (eg Weird MC), welcome to Left Side brain, I am the most important part of the body and I shall be your guide. My name is Mouth!
Eye: “You are the most important ke? Guy yimu! How dare you claim relevance where I exist? Can’t u see that without me the whole body is useless?
Mouth: Ode! U’re asking me if I can’t see, isn’t that your ONLY function? Oya what else do you actually do? Ehn? Answer now ‘lukman!’
Eye: *eyes mouth* bone o! I am the window to the world, Eye see things..you you’re just there to pout and stuff! *attempts to hiss, realises its not mouth*
Mouth: haha! Oya hiss now! Mtscheeew…look at this one..its paining u because I get all the goodies, the kisses, the food, lipstick, I get to go to places you have only seen but can’t touch!
Hands: Taaa!!!! Hold it right there, who’s talking about touching? You ehn! Na mouth you just get…
Mouth: duhhhh *attempts to roll eyes, realises its not eye*
Eye: Buhahaha! Oya roll now! Wannabe!
Hands: both of you should calm down, why are we even having this argument? Ok, shake hands and make up…
*realises futile statement*
*eyes roll* *mouth hisses and yimu’s*
Mouth: Hands go and rest inside one pocket somewhere jare…sensible parts are talking, you sef you’re forming involved.
Hands: I will slap you o!
Cheeks: heysss! Hol’ it o! Shey you know everytime you slap, its actually me you hit. I wonder what it is with your aim sef!
Mouth: *giggles* Slap now! And cheek remember what the bible says o…
Cheeks: will you shut your mouth?! Oh! I should stand and watch while he slaps me and then I should give him the other cheek eh?
Legs: well actually, its my job to stand…
Eyes: and mine to watch…
Cheeks: Fuck you all!
Penis: *rises to the occasion* did someone call?
Mouth: trust you to show up…
Penis: *nods* why so serious mouth? Miss me already?
Mouth: you know very well I don’t do your type…
Penis: yeah yeah, you don’t sound like it when you’re singing Lil’ Wayne’s ‘No Love’ though..
Ears: did I just hear sound?
Penis: *Nods and whispers* what’s up, apart from me?
Ears: oh down boy! Let’s not get all excited…so mouth you were saying?
Mouth: I was just talking about how I’m the most important part
Ears: Ehn! If I hear it?
Mouth: You just did duhhh…are you deaf?
Eyes: shey you see?
Ears: who me? How the heck am I supposed to see, isn’t that YOUR job?
Mouth: you all stink!
Nose: do I smell sarcasm eh? You know this because…???
Mouth: dude, free me jare…
Nose: no o! You will tell me what you know about stench today. Do you know what its like down below while you are ‘blowing’ things?
Penis: oh wow! I’ve gotta hear this…
Ears: yeah, I’m all ears…
Hands: *rubs together*
Nose: answer me mouth or have you lost your tongue?
Mouth: No comment!
Nose: no you must talk o! You just put your mouth everywhere, kissing other ‘lips’..I bear the pain and stigma of odours you will never know…
Mouth: well, what can I say? Come to think of it sef, who is responsible for sexual desires? As in who causes the desire to arise?
Hands: *points to eyes*
Eyes: what? So u’re saying Stevie has no sexual desires? #noWonder… All I do is look juh…*raises eyebrow*
Mouth: well they say “the eyes NEVER lie,” so I believe you…I guess I stimulate the physical act though, along with hands…
Hands: ah well…I no get mouth!
Penis: and I only come ‘in’ when mouth and hands are done…
Nose: eeeewww…y’all are just messed up!
Mouth: what the fuck?
Nose: oh here we go again…
Hands: *covers nose*
Ass: Y’all need to sit down…my MESSage: “True relevance isn’t found in the multitude of your words but the silence that accompanies your presence!”
*a fart makes all the difference!”
Who runs the world? Fart in a room and see