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BeinG BuYsexuaL

26 Jun

Hey Guys, here’s a ‘little’ *snickers* something from a twisted friend of mine who stars as my Guest Blogger today @SlevinCalevra *insert applause here* . It seems the post by @MsCantFindaName got to him eh…enjoy!

*Saunters into Kelvin’s blog smelling like a mothafucker…*

“Oh ye daughters of Eve, I come in Piss”.

Ehenn?! I said daughters of Eve because I know that you lot constitute majority of the audience here anyway. Here’s proof. I bet you 1000 bucks that one of our jewels of inestimable pride has already gone ahead to be the first to comment on the blog. La casera and gala? No! Alomo and groundnuts, yes! 😀

************************************************************************************************************************************

This post is dedicated to you.

I love materialistic girls. The gold-diggers. I like to call them buy-sexuals.

Materialistic girls are the most insecure bunch of girls out there. The ladies who want the Jimmy Choo , Stuart Wietzman, Tory Burch and Steve Madden shoes. The ones who rock the Gucci purses, Louis Vuitton bags and want to get married wearing a Marchesa dress. The same ones who want to fly out on shopping sprees toParis,Dubai,Milanand New-York. Vacationing in the South of France, Saint Tropez! The CarribeanIslands. Barbados!! TheMiddle East.Yemen!!

Mtscheeeuw! “You go old!”

The word buy-sexual is a multi-faceted word which means someone who gets turned on by, or derives sexual pleasure from, shopping or being taken shopping. It also means some one who collects money for sex (prostitute) or someone who dates another just for money the other will spend on them. (Gold-digger)

Therefore by simple logic, we can infer the following

A gold digger = Buy-sexual = Prostitute.

To every gold-digger: You are a like a road side whore. Only smarter but eventually end up worse. I prefer a bad girl who is good enough to admit that she is bad than the bad girl who isn’t and continues to pretend that she is what she isn’t.

Same ol’ same ol’

You see Larry Sushey loves ‘buys’. You ask why? Well, because they are the easiest girls to get. Show me a ‘buy’ and I’ll show you her panties. I will come back to this.

A person who needs to upgrade definitely has to start somewhere yeah? For example, a baby doesn’t begin to run immediately after birth. It has got to crawl first, then stand, then walk before learning how to run. You cannot be a village ‘omalicha’, new in a city and then decide to hook up with Paddy Adenuga! You’ve got to climb up the ladder. Say from the neighbourhood gangster who has an okada (Note: The okada being the main attraction to him) to the next guy, the young undergraduate with the 1991 coupe Honda – accord (Levels don change now, but the principle remains the same, the car being the main attraction). The next guy is a Yahoo boy with a yellow hummer (Hummer and Yahoo money being the main attraction, still, the same principle). And so on…

Now in every relationship the so called boyfriend pounds you likeBenuepounded yam and gives you money to make your hair. You climb up the ladder to collecting money to buy designer jeans, shoes and other accessories and so on till you finally reach the level of traveling abroad on shopping sprees and the like.

Progression you say? Regression or at best, stagnation I say.

You see, I am a BroKe Bloke. A proud one at that but do not forget that I am just a step in the ladder I described in the last paragraph. I wasn’t born with a silver spoon but it sure ain’t wooden.

I went to school. I have a job. I have a six figure salary (if you remove the decimal point). *looks away, six digits noni* And I will always have a buy-sexual looking to take a substantial chunk of the little I have. Because there is some “plantain seller” out there who thinks I’m a gold mine. And so it is for every step of the ladder you go. As long as you enter a relationship with a man for his money, you have already belittled yourself and whether he does it consciously or not, you will always remain his little ‘plantain seller’. The little ashawo. Another downside for the buy-sexual is that all blokes, broke or not always like to look out to the better girl (By better, I mean the one who has her own). The one who offers a lot more than just great sex and taking your money. Once we find that person, out the window you go. You might even take the house in Lekki along with you and the BMW X6 but guess who the real winner here is. You are 38, single, jobless and just got promoted to the next step on the ladder.

Yayyy!

Now you can go ahead and look for the richer guy who will buy you a jet maybe? In Geography they say the higher you go the cooler it becomes. In this case the higher you climb the more difficult it is to score.

I laugh in Cantonese.

Money is not the root of all evil. Money is the root of all wealth. Therefore Women, there is nothing wrong with chasing after money, as long as you do so by working for it. What I find disturbing is chasing after men with money. The valuable time used in gold – digging could be put into getting your own paper.

I am a broke bloke. I said before that I love ‘buys’. Show me one and a bell rings in my head * Ashawo alert* All i need to get the attention of one is a ruse. Hide behind a smoke screen. You know the difference between a rich dude and a broke bloke like me is the C letter word.

Not Chedda(h)r dumbass! That’s cheese. I mean CONFIDENCE. (Not the Big Brother housemate)

An air of confidence exudes success. Smelling good gives that air of confidence so I always smell great. Buy-sexuals cannot really tell the difference between myself and Katung Aduwak when I walk into a room. I walk with “swheggz”. I don’t mean walking in a half bounce like a disgruntled Tony Tetuila. I mean walking in with a cocky gait. Slightly arrogant. This is important because it gives me an air of mystery. When I talk to a buy-sexual I always maintain eye contact. I talk to their brains; their souls and they will unconsciously begin to convince themselves that I am Mr. Tiger Woods. This act is called ‘washing’. I will wash you and talk you to places you have never been before. No lies o, that is the buy-sexual’s job. The average buy-sexual will lie to herself every time.

Maybe five drinks and a cigarette…

*N.B There is no need cramming all these moves because it will still work for you.* I even have scientific proof.

A Sunday Times article I dug up from some time in 2009 stated that scientists had found that supposedly wealthy men give women more orgasms.

“Women’s orgasm frequency increases with the income of their partner,” said Dr Thomas Pollet, theNewcastleUniversitypsychologist behind the research.

Orgasm + Riches? Bill Gates’wife must be in heaven then…

He believes the phenomenon is an “evolutionary adaptation” that is hard-wired into women, driving them to select men on the basis of their perceived quality. Key word being ‘perceived’.

The study is certain to prove controversial, suggesting that women are inherently programmed to be gold-diggers.

Who would you rather have an orgasm with? Katung or Flava Flav?

Note that the quotes never actually mentioned money being a factor rather it pointed to ‘perceived quality’ and ‘high quality’ as pre requisites. Define High quality how you want, the important thing is that the ‘buy-sexual’ perceives you to be rich and you are on a home run.

Truth is most buy-sexuals end up hanging with broke blokes like me. We will buy you shawarma and perfume, but we always take it all back in some form and then use you as a stepping stone to get a new whore. You know what they say, women do not want a man no other woman wants. At the end of the day, I win again.

Okay, let us assume that the woman actually finds some rich bloke. Responsible, handsome, down to earth, God fearing, athletic bla di bla di bla. The perfect man. I suggest that the woman wake up from that dream and slap yourself. “I doesn’t exist.”

The key to actual progression for a woman is to actually be with the ‘broke bloke’ who is always willing to give you more than he gets from you. Yes I will sing it o…*Clears throat…Ahem. “Whether na one naira…”

“If it is too good to be true, it probably is. A man who will lavish expensive gifts on you at your every whim if not under your spell is a ritualist, scam artist, assassin, drug dealer, armed robber or Nigerian politician. When the toilet explodes and shit hits the fan you will now remember Jesus.

Hian!!!

Women who still think they are attracted to the money are either immature or buy-sexual. N.B. Maturity doesn’t necessarily come with age. Ask Confidence Haugen.

To be fore warned is to be fore armed. Find a broke bloke today.

Here’s a download link to the song I listen to whenever this broke boy dumps another gold-digger.

http://www.4shared.com/get/Uhzxs8P_/Havent_met_you_yet-Micheal_Bub.html

Side note: The reason I smell of piss by the way is cos the buy-sexual I was with last night went ghetto on me when I told her I didn’t have money and asked her if she would take cheques. The b*tch emptied a bucket of pee on me.

I wonder why she kept a bucket of pee anyway. She probably doesn’t have plumbing.

Larry Sushey.

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64 Comments

Posted by on June 26, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

64 responses to “BeinG BuYsexuaL

  1. Art Guiness

    June 26, 2011 at 3:11 pm

    Hahahaha!!! Mad sumfin! A lil word of advice to all women (and men) out there.

     
  2. 0latoxic

    June 26, 2011 at 3:15 pm

    🙂

     
  3. d3ola

    June 26, 2011 at 3:16 pm

    LMAO!!!
    Apart from being funny, this post has a lot of truth in it.
    Good job guys!!!

     
  4. Nugwa

    June 26, 2011 at 3:22 pm

    Kev dey craze as usual… broke bloke is a dependent term… cuz even the guy earning 150k living in a boys quarter in lekki has some stuck up chick who thinks he’s broke… so its dependent… buh like i always say… i believe in showering my girl with gifts, but she shouldn’t demand for them as though her name is on my paycheck too…

     
  5. BadaTunde

    June 26, 2011 at 3:30 pm

    Quite a lenghty piece, but he make sense! I like the art of washing. Sometimes that art is needed to have a BUYSexual expereince for free.

     
  6. dozie

    June 26, 2011 at 3:31 pm

    FIRST!….frst to comment, frst tym readn dis blog….*where d alomo at??*…‎​L☺l….Buy-sexuals…*spits*….dnt we all *broke blokes* hate dem…‎​L☺l….nyc one!

     
  7. NenehS

    June 26, 2011 at 3:34 pm

    Looool…. Hilarious and Entertaining.

     
  8. @YesVs

    June 26, 2011 at 3:48 pm

    this shit just cracked me the fuck up, damn i still can’t get past that katung vs flava pic

     
  9. missbeemuse

    June 26, 2011 at 3:48 pm

    LOOOL!
    This is hilarious! Larry nice one! Kevin,nice feature!
    This is sooo true! I enjoyed reading it!
    Katung or Flava Flav? Lmao! “When the shit hits the fan,you’ll now be saying Jesus” hilarious piece!
    Nice way of driving home the point!
    #TeamMissIndependent-GoGetYourOwn

     
  10. mimi

    June 26, 2011 at 3:53 pm

    Soo true!!!! Thank goodness I’m not buy-sexual. But pls some guys need to take a chill pill. Yea yea we know there r gold diggers but don’t use that as an excuse 2 shy away from spending. I c guys complaining bout everything from paying cab fares to buying drinks when its not like I’m expecting you to get me a car or something ridiculous. Pls take your broke ass home n keep it there. I don’t c anything wrong, infact I rarely let ppl pay 4 my stuff but offer n watch me turn u down.

     
  11. Yvvyeve

    June 26, 2011 at 3:59 pm

    Buhahahahahahahhahaha!!! How I like this post! When I voiced(typed in this case) my opinion on the ‘broke blokes’ and my attitude was tagged “holier-than-thou”, one Wud tink I broke down nd cried buh I bet this has shown the tag dint stop my opinion from being extremely reasonable. Sweating and sexing just to make money can never be smarter than sitting in my air-conditioned room writing codes and watching my Acc balance sky-rocket in my own case(male buySEXUALS stay away)!!!
    Everybody was made with the ability to work and the only man on earth who MUST provide for a woman according to the scriptures is a FAMILY MAN…. ie a man with Wifes and kids(daughters and sons or even hermaphrodites). So I’ll never see reasons why yur boyfriend MUST pay your bills….. U opening yur legs for him is yur problem and stop thinking collecting money from him for fornicating makes yur body more valuable! *yimu* on d contrAry yur self worth is lower than the temperature of ICE!!! nice work here and before d ladies. Let him spoil u or get u gifts if he has sense not cos u r oppressing him….. Dating is give and take. Love Et all. If I give and u neva receive from him, now u av sth to worry about. A stingy man. *gulps NutriC*

     
    • Kelvin

      June 26, 2011 at 5:17 pm

      On my blog, the allowed refreshment is LaCasera, this post was sponsored by Miss LaCasera so all u NutriC people can like to get a cab

       
    • Giagerry

      June 27, 2011 at 3:37 pm

      buhahaha! “gulps NutriC”!!

       
  12. Xavier

    June 26, 2011 at 4:01 pm

    @SlevinCalevra, 2 words bruv: Immaculate. Deuces.

     
    • SlevinCalevra

      June 26, 2011 at 4:17 pm

      Pls can I have some Nutri-C?

       
      • Yvvyeve

        June 26, 2011 at 4:37 pm

        Lol! The nutriC has almost finished buh this post was so good i’ll av to sacrifice the last three gulps *hands him the jug* here boo. 😉

         
  13. joanne

    June 26, 2011 at 4:09 pm

    This post is long o…*scrolls back to the top* brb

     
    • SlevinCalevra

      June 26, 2011 at 4:33 pm

      To think that I reduced the words… It was a lot longer! 🙂 There’s too much to say.

       
  14. sandie_pandie

    June 26, 2011 at 4:11 pm

    long story! I over perceive you wiv the fluent diction sef… I can’t blame them o! choi! If i were buysexual too i for don trip… I love the flow in this Mr! Job well done 🙂

     
    • SlevinCalevra

      June 26, 2011 at 4:42 pm

      Thanks Sandie. 🙂

       
  15. a_lil_xtra

    June 26, 2011 at 4:23 pm

    Wow!!!
    Amazing feature,Kev…ur friend @SlevinCalevra is soooo #OnPoint!
    Luvd it…luvd it…LUVD IT!!!:D

     
    • SlevinCalevra

      June 26, 2011 at 4:38 pm

      Thank u! Thank u!! Thank u!!! 🙂

       
    • Kelvin

      June 26, 2011 at 5:11 pm

      Yeah, he loves pointed things too…

       
  16. wordsofanaries

    June 26, 2011 at 4:32 pm

    LMAO sm1 went h’iiiiiiiiinnnnnnnn!!! We love that we self-confessed gold diggers struck ur nerve so hard, it looks like abuse.

    I love this post.

    I’ll be back!

     
    • SlevinCalevra

      June 26, 2011 at 4:36 pm

      Hehehehe… *insert evil laugh*

       
    • Kelvin

      June 26, 2011 at 5:10 pm

      Don’t get your knickers in a twist while you’re at it girl…

       
  17. joanne

    June 26, 2011 at 4:45 pm

    Ehen…what of Christian Louboutin, Peruvian hair, iPad, PlayBook and all those other orishirishi toys ehn?
    Anyway who says the BuySexual girls aren’t working they’re being pounded like on a regular, forced to keep up with what’s in and what’s not…na beans!? Shout out to all the Broke Blokes in the building, your time will come!
    Very nice post.
    *inserts earphones, hits play button n dances to Naeto C’s Ten over Ten*

     
    • SlevinCalevra

      June 26, 2011 at 4:49 pm

      Peruvian hair? Manage ‘Expressions’ or ‘Yaki/Amina’. Colour what again?

       
  18. MzLucyM

    June 26, 2011 at 5:36 pm

    Lolllll luvd dis! Very true I must say! loll @ d katung/ugly guy pic.

     
  19. wordsofanaries

    June 26, 2011 at 6:08 pm

    oohh yes I’m back. I see the self-styled righteous sisters in the house again. Y’all raise the roof for the hardworking, honest……ooh sod it!!

    It seems yall seem to have forgotten that each to their own. Some women want tall guys, others don’t mind them short. Same goes for the ones who are partial to light skin and the others who worship the radiating subtle beauty that is the dark skin.

    Read as many books as you want. Amass as many degrees as you resume can hold. Have as much potential tagged to your person but I tell you brother, if you don’t have the dough now, you might as well walk to the back of the line, with ‘swegghs’ too. U say you got potential but dude, that’s the so-called Cantonese for ‘Im not sure I can make it’. How can you expect a woman to stick with just Potential though? I heard it’s also an igbo name.

    “You are 38, single, jobless and just got promoted to the next step on the ladder.” *checks price of Audemars Piguet* – unaffected. Hardly surprising! Who cares man? U seem to have us confused with a bunch that actually give a flying monkey’s behind. A gold-digger ain’t looking for love…to hell with that. She’s focused, her mind on the money. And you know what really hurts you broke blokes? – the fact that she’d always find a man to milk. It’s in her carriage. She reeks of millions even when she ain’t got a dime. Why do you think she never runs out of men tripping over the agbadas to spend on her? Because they see it as challenge. She’s used to being spent on so they want to see if they can beat the record of the previous man.

    One other thing. What makes you think a gold-digger doesnt already have her own fortune and is just on the lookout for a man who will add to that, not one who would become a burden? Until you can cater for a woman, spoil her rotten with the finest things luxury’s got to offer with it making as much difference to your pocket as a pin dropping into the ocean, your lot ain’t needed here. U call us bitches, how basic is that? We prefer the term ‘hard-working bitches’ cus face it, until you’ve ridden a Wande Coal with a mid-riff to rival that of a pregnant woman, you’ve certainly had it easy.

    Yes we are gold diggers. We wear that badge with unparalleled honour and fly that flag so proudly high. I didn’t come to this earth to count coins. I want gold, and hell yeah I’d dig for it. The sisters who so crave for love and romance can have the Broke Blokes, no one else wants them. When you see your girl drive by in that Mercedez SL-Class Roadster, be sure to holler at her, well, if Sister Envy hasn’t had her way with you!

     
    • SlevinCalevra

      June 26, 2011 at 7:29 pm

      Buysexual = Gold digger = Prostitute. Replace the term gold digger with prostitute and then replay. Or do you rather I reply prostitute with the term ‘hard working bitch’? A hard working bitch will always be disposable. Will never be number 1. Drive all the luxury cars money can buy, then sleep with Richard Branson. That Audemar Piguet can never give you the true satis’fa(c)k’tion every woman craves. Prostitutes will never be truly happy.

       
      • SlevinCalevra

        June 26, 2011 at 7:31 pm

        *replace

         
      • wordsofanaries

        June 26, 2011 at 7:40 pm

        lol..bruv, don’t let your broke state cloud your judgement. A gold digger hardly gives an eff. Her quest is satiated by the ‘generosity’ of these kind sirs. Whoever said money can’t buy happiness sure never had a £65k mutha’ on her neck. The mistake you men make is believing all women are built the same. Not all women’s life goal is to be the one and only to one and mother to a litter of rotten young’uns. A gold digger’s satisfaction: knowing only a handful can afford her. and don’t forget this Mr Sushey, WE SIMPLY DON’T CARE. We ain’t dealing with broke niggas, that’s the motto and I doubt it’s gonna change anytime soon!

         
  20. ije

    June 26, 2011 at 6:18 pm

    So true… 1st post of urs I hve read. I’m hooked

     
  21. musingsofagidimallam

    June 26, 2011 at 6:45 pm

    *gently places his bottle of shilled Zobo Imperial n applauds enthusiastically* Great job Slevin!!! Nice one KWAL for featuring him…so so true.
    N as for @WordsOfAnaries…or is dat ur alter ego…u might need these… \__ n \_/…hehehehehe…dat ur comment pass som ppl blog posts sef…hian…LOL

     
    • wordsofanaries

      June 26, 2011 at 7:48 pm

      lol…see another broke dude, offering me a glass of water. Guy u for try save face offer glass of Armand de Brignac Rose or somin. SMH @ all the broke dudes festering on this post. Time to move!!

       
    • SlevinCalevra

      June 26, 2011 at 8:35 pm

      Are you sure you this isn’t that ordinary barbie girl? Wait what happens when (if) the money finishes? Na to drink water remain…lol

       
  22. ibetapassmynebo

    June 26, 2011 at 7:06 pm

    OK…THIS IS THE DUMBEST POST OF THE YEAR

    SECONDLY…LANRE ABI KINI ORU KO EH….SO YOU ARE BROKE AND YOU VE BEEN CHYKING ME? FUCK YOU!

    THIRDLY….DS MATA IS SUBLECTIVE…I BELIEVE U RE TALKING ABOUT URSEF BROKE MODAFUCKA

    LASTLY…TIME IS MONEY I JUST FUCKING LOST 500K READING DS “STEWPID” POST

    Np kanye- golddigga

     
    • Kelvin

      June 26, 2011 at 7:15 pm

      Why are you shouting jare? *take LaCasera*

       
    • SlevinCalevra

      June 26, 2011 at 7:37 pm

      @Ibeta, my love for you transcends all earthly possesions. I LOVE u nah… Pls reconsider. I am broke but will still upgrade you to a bigger generator. When we break up, you can ga’an meet someone who’ll turn you to Mikano generator. Don’t worry, one day you go turn to power plant.
      Meanwhile, sip lacasera. 😀

       
  23. ibetapassmynebo

    June 26, 2011 at 7:13 pm

    *SUBJECTIVE* FUCK U GAN

     
  24. sandie_pandie

    June 26, 2011 at 7:22 pm

    *Rolling*

     
  25. mizzkenzo

    June 26, 2011 at 7:30 pm

    very interesting post 🙂
    A bit long tho… I almost didn’t finish.

     
  26. papyrusczar

    June 26, 2011 at 8:36 pm

    Kudos! Funny piece.

     
  27. MzLucyM

    June 26, 2011 at 8:43 pm

    Ok LOL @ d comments tho! Interestn.

     
  28. rozAy

    June 26, 2011 at 8:44 pm

    Nice post though…
    Buh, I’ll rather Ĥανє a BUYsexual girlfriend , so that I will be motivated to make more pap£r Tho… #IMO

     
  29. ibetapassmynebo

    June 26, 2011 at 9:23 pm

    OK …*sips LACASERA*…

    WHAT IS DS PISS???? EWWWWW…PUAH! WOTEVA HAPND TO MOET ROSE….JEEZ…NUVO IS MY DETTOL…THIS IS SHIT!

    FUCK YOU..U CANT EVN AFFORD FUEL FOR MY COY’s PRODUCT….BROKE BUMBUM…

    WOT AM I EVEN DOING HERE….I SHUD BE AT APAPA WHARF…*sips Lacasera*….EWWWWWW!…PUAH!

     
  30. kemmiiii

    June 26, 2011 at 10:04 pm

    Lool…….really nice…so can we safely say that the opposite of a BUYsexual is a one naira babe..yes?

     
  31. Griffin

    June 26, 2011 at 10:59 pm

    Hmmm…interesting. The age long 3rd world country debate still rages on. Gold- diggers/ broke blokes… What’s all the fuss….its supposed to be humourous you know.
    For what its worth, to each his own applies strongly here, what ever works for each and everyone and if you’re not sure, stick to what the good book tells you(best source of advice ever) ….
    I’ll just sign off with this…don’t teach your kids your ways if you by chance find out your way wasn’t the right path….

     
    • Kelvin

      June 27, 2011 at 1:56 am

      Nicely said sir…

       
    • Yvvyeve

      June 27, 2011 at 9:22 pm

      God bless u brother. Well said.
      Peeps just want to play with everything in life …. #thatAwkwardDisastrousMoment when u realize life is not a joke as they claim. I could say wait till u get to the end and see buh at the end of life, u r dead. *Wetin I just talk? (musing)* Kelvin Where my nutriC Abeg???

       
  32. rotimi shaba

    June 27, 2011 at 8:34 am

    Dear brokedude,
    Won’t be able to see you
    because my okrika jeans got torn jumping a bus. I’ve always told you about the stress of busing in Lag. I’m not asking u for a car cos I know dat u wld buy me one without my asking. But let’s be honest here you don’t have a car
    and its not cos of your aversion for sleek and comfortable cars, you’re jus living up to your name(broke dude). So pls hun try and send me a cab ones in a while, not the red cabs or fasola’s expensive yellow cabs, a 1986 passat will do.
    Read an article a couple of days ago dat compared orgasms to the size of a man’s wallet and I couldn’t agree more. Orgasms are kindda hard when we’re both sweating under your noisy ceiling fan and praying fervently that the blessing of PHCN abide,also I really can’t stop thinking of my torn jeans; FYI that’s the 4th okrika jeans this month. At this point I must say that I’m tired of the stiff competition from your loud squeaky bed, gosh u’re having sex with me and not the bed so why shld she be louder? And tell all the rats and cockroaches in your house that satying is no longer allowed, 2’s company 3’s crowd
    My best friend just invited me go to Dubai with her, she’s getting married in 2wks n she’s going shopping. Ooh lest I forget I went to her fiance’s apartment last week and made the mistake of wearing a skirt, felt like I was in Alaska and couldn’t stop wishing I had more clothings on and never ve I been in so much need of some cuddling(in your apartment, I can’t wait to get outta ma clothes and stay as far away from you as possible). Will see you when I get back from Dubai or better still you can check me in my bestie’s fiance’s house, d add is no… Parkview…
    Yours,
    BuYsexual.

     
  33. frankie Sush

    June 27, 2011 at 3:13 pm

    Larry sush ur jus legendary…..nice post

     
  34. Giagerry

    June 27, 2011 at 3:28 pm

    “You are 38, single, jobless and just got promoted to the next step on the ladder.”–Ouch!!
    “When the toilet explodes and shit hits the fan you will now remember Jesus.”–buhahahah!
    Funny post! very funny but like alredy said it makes sense tho.
    Creative name too “Buy-sexuals”–LoL.

    But on a serious note, I guess what is worse than a broke dude is a lazy one at the end of the day. You can be broke and hardworking, then we(girls) say we see “potential”, and a lot of times that’s okay(like a d light at the end of the tunnel thingy! Lol). But one with no potential means that he is broke and he isn’t looking to progress in Life and by progress i mean hard work progress not, looking for easy way to make money, like waking up everyday to go and play lottery! Lol now that is the turn off!!

    lol @ ur 6 figure salary! nothing do u jor! *Hi5*
    Nice post again!

     
  35. Madame Sting

    June 28, 2011 at 2:57 am

    Was surprised to stumble on ur blog Kelvin….I did a double take at the picture before looking at the name. Try to see if you can guess who this is.

     
    • Kelvin

      June 28, 2011 at 6:02 am

      Pls help a brother out pls, emmm my guessing ability is quite bleh…I think!

       
      • Madame Sting

        June 29, 2011 at 12:06 am

        You r no fun at all. I’m Kayla’s auntie. That shouldn’t be too hard.

         
      • MsAnonymous

        July 23, 2011 at 11:03 am

        Oh Kelvin! I think I need an ECG but you need an EEG!!!
        I stumbled across your blog this morning and I can’t get enough. Oh Ɣξα̲̅, us gurls love †o play vain. Started with Lace wigs,then Peruvian… Maybe next stop would be Pubic hair.
        Think me likey Ūя̲̅ blog. I’ll go †o the genesis.

         
  36. Nollywood REinvented

    June 28, 2011 at 3:38 am

    If everytime I stumble upon a blog on the internet, it’s as funny as yours then bros I go dey like to dey stumble oh! What?!?! This is some mad artistry and jam-packed with the truth. I’m a die hard fan now Yemen!!!

     
  37. @Eljon1

    June 29, 2011 at 4:32 pm

    *whew*almost spoilt ma track-ball scrollin down those comments…kiddin…dats lyk d old BBmodels ryt?well,‎​​A̶̲̥̅♏ off dat…@Kevin…Excellent post,pretty impressive..‎​​A̶̲̥̅♏ nt rly a frequent reader of 9ja blogs buh ds iz a sure thing…I notice u keepin it basically humorous n not lyk d ambiguous sentences yu do on twitter(u kno wif d wordplay n all ’em witty deep ish)…@wordsofanaries..I acknowledge ur view buh 2bad,views dont stay d same az u move up d ladder u wud certainly hav a different view(think ’bout it literally)…@sum point yu wud question ur actions,u kno u get face mid-life crisis n all dat white bullshit dat get 2 d white rich people n definitely yu aint neva gon’ fill fulfilled,cuz gold-diggers neva get d time 2 chase their actual dreams n get lost in d depths of d mines they ‘ve dug..I would eventually stop here jus 2 save oda readers d torture of scrolling down comments 4 minutes..they say ‘d rich also cry’ eva wonder y?money provides comfort buh still doesn’t comfort nobody,friends do n real luv neutralises pain..do d math ‘pain iz love’ innit?when yu eventually get bored n yu done ‘scoring’,it wud be 2late 2 move on 2 a new sport…buh if yu down wif it fine…its ur hustle buh trust me I wud neva be d reason why a gurl got paid.. n down those comments…kiddin…dats lyk d old BBmodels ryt?well,‎​​A̶̲̥̅♏ off dat…@Kevin…Excellent post,pretty impressive..‎​​A̶̲̥̅♏ nt rly a frequent reader of 9ja blogs buh ds iz a sure thing…I notice u keepin it basically humorous n not lyk d ambiguous sentences yu do on twitter(u kno wif d wordplay n all ’em witty deep ish)…@wordsofanaries..I acknowledge ur view buh 2bad,views dont stay d same az u move up d ladder u wud certainly hav a different view(think ’bout it literally)…@sum point yu wud question ur actions,u kno u get face mid-life crisis n all dat white bullshit dat get 2 d white rich people n definitely yu aint neva gon’ fill fulfilled,cuz gold-diggers neva get d time 2 chase their actual dreams n get lost in d depths of d mines they ‘ve dug..I would eventually stop here jus 2 save oda readers d torture of scrolling down comments 4 minutes..they say ‘d rich also cry’ eva wonder y?money provides comfort buh still doesn’t comfort nobody,friends do n real luv neutralises pain..do d math ‘pain iz love’ innit?when yu eventually get bored n yu done ‘scoring’,it wud be 2late 2 move on 2 a new sport…buh if yu down wif it fine…its ur hustle buh trust me I wud neva be d reason why a gurl got paid..

     
  38. terdoh

    July 14, 2011 at 5:37 am

    Larry Sushey!!!! Slevin Calevra!!! You are mad! 6 figures if you remove the decimal?? Hahahaha!!!! So on point!

     
  39. dunch

    July 24, 2011 at 3:13 pm

    Oi jst stumbled upon dis blog and reading dis post was maaadd fun! Been laughing since d beginnin, and then the comments even became madder( permit me to use dat) I dnt knw which was more interesting, d post itself or d comments *sighs* there’s a lot of truth in your post tho, there’s also a saying somwhere that reads; all women are gold-diggers, some dig with cranes, others with shovels, and some with spoons. Broke guyz or not we all want somthing from the men we date/marry weather its emotional(love), physical n material( money n wealth) or spiritual(upliftment) we women all want somtthing in a man. *Sips zobo n replaces earphones*

     
  40. Anonymous

    August 5, 2011 at 1:27 am

    LMFAO!!!

     

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