WARNING: This post is LONG!
Disclaimer: The characters in this post are real BUT I did NOT mention any names o! I repeat: I DID NOT MENTION ANY NAMES. Any names implied are at the readers risk. Any attempted attempt to harm this writer should be ‘rethunk’ Yes ‘RETHUNK!” I walk around with a pen knife and I know Kung-Fu, Taekwando, Su-Shi and 10 other dangerous languages!
You have been warned!
The bloggers listed below are some of the plenty that swarm your TL on the regular. All of you know that you have beef for them but fear did not let you talk. Yes I shall be the ‘scapeGoat’ and I shall talk. I may not mention all since almost every seun, ifunnaya and Rasaki attempts to blog. These however are some of the ‘big fish’ as far as I’m concerned and I HATE ’em more than others!
For ease, I shall refer to their twitter handles for description purposes. If u can’t decipher them, you can like to go on a date, camping with Harold, he’ll take u to d end of the world!
*1. This one is an EXperienced School geek. If my sources are correct, she has been writing since 2003! Tori Olórun, why? Ahn ahn, her mates were dancing to sisqo and Dru Hill, she was blogging..she dey write sha!! Even voted Nigerian blogger of d year smtym ago..if she handle your matter eh? Hian! She’s a blogger celeb somebody, even interviewed on Channels that year alongside my hero ‘NaijaFineboy’…see why I hate her?
*2. I don’t know if this one missed his way as an electrician/Technician seeing as he’s always carrying a TOOLbox everywhere. He now ended up in blogsville. This one writes regularly sha, he even has names for d days of his posts and I HATE this guy on a federal level, always having the highest no of comments..small thing that he will write o, 120 comments, then me I will write project and get 7 comments…mtscheeew. He’s like my oga and u know that boys hate their ogas so…
*3. This lepa lady has a twitter handle with initials like a genotype. She’s a sicko, yelzz. How will somebody just wake up and be writing about éléran (meat seller) and somebody’s trouser? Worrahell? And u people will be encouraging her to write more. I once did a collabo with this chic, u know how Eminem murdered JayZ on the renegade song…that’s what she did to me…That’s why I HATE her!!! She gives good ‘mindgasms’ tho and well, lemme just stop!
*4. This biafran lady also shares initials with the aforementioned genotype. Adding an ‘O’ to her first name makes her similar to one terrorist buried at sea, no wonder she’s a sea creature too. She just appeared from where I don’t know and started talking about the gods: Zeus and co.. She doesn’t fear o! Now all the boys are just lining up and her avatars on Twitter ehn esp one backview like that…I HATE her! Nuff said!
*5. Have u seen a polar bear with a chieftaincy title complete with the ‘CAP’ and things? Well this brotha is all that and more..this one is just amazingly intelligent. Little wonder he runs a summer sch presently which I attend sef (can u imagine?) Yes I beef him, no one man should have that much..warrever…*hilzz*
*6. You will think that tall people are all length and no brain, only good for fixing light bulbs since the ones in their heads are constantly faulty but NO! This one, he’s just a blog ashewo. He’s like the lil’ wayne of blogville (jumping fm one blog to another). Some call him prof. His handle sounds like the eBOLA virus..talkin about viruses, He can write about sex and all those bed room stuff but u know what they say now, “empty barrels…”
*7. I think this lady grew up watching too much Titanic and sad endings. Her writing can make onions cry ahn ahn! And OMG! I have NEVER spotted a punctuation error in her articles!! I HATE YOu!! She bears the name of d typical IGBO first daughter with an ‘nia’ at the end. Based on the way she writes, I won’t be surprised if she takes the IGBO stuff too…
*8. This other igbo first daughter is the senior sister of Razz, as in eh ‘Jenifa’ ain’t got nuthin on dis chic. She has facial cheeks that make Sasha look like Asa. This one eh, she writes about the oddest stuff like pepper, the relationshp between illuminatti and cowbell advert. Very annoying! Yeah her handle is the igbo name with ‘hna’
*9. They say “Shayo na Bastehd” so feel free to call dis one bastehd…some call him skilobo, abija (what kind of name is skilobo?). He is a landlord with a tenant called Morufu, a weyrey sha. When he writes sef, it seems he’s under d influence, but his disclaimers ehn? No be here sha, I couldn’t afford his fee for this post so deuces! I HATE u!
*10. Her handle sounds like teleTUBBY. This one can confuse you with her post. D other day she wrote about rainbow, im like WTF? ROYGBIV? WGAF? She keeps complaining that my posts are long so I put her down here to suffer her, yels ke..its all HATE!
*11. Because u yellow no mean say u fine. I don’t know who’s deceiving this one that he’s FRESH or a PRINCe…confirmed ashawo blogger, its the salvation he has that just keeps him, if not his posts will be R30..be eyeing all d girls, I see u o!
*12. As far as I know, this one is a confused AFRO carrying BANK man..he will just be beating gong up and down. Where dyu think you are 1960? I’m sorry for u o! You better wake up and smell the paraga…this dude can write deep things—WELL! Gerrit? U don’t? *hilzzz*
*13. This refugee MALLAM has brought his craze here on blogville, this one is undoubtedly the no 1 blog commentator, ah ah!! He shd be working with NTA sports or sth..he writes crazily too though and of course, any threat in my dept is definitely hated so do the math…
There are more but what is it sef? Na me hate pass? And this post is getting too long, but here’s what it is people..for all these guys and lasses and the plenty others not mentioned here, eg ( cece, Adm3on, Mscantfindaname, Olatoxic, cikko, chukyJ, JCPhoenixx, thinkThank, mia, awizii, ekwem) etc..whether we hate ’em or not, they have somehow added value, educated us, shared experiences and stuff…
I hate Bloggers (the lazy ones with boring stuff and nuthin to say), they just join the seeming crowd yet have nothing to offer. I don’t claim to have arrived, and I do support everyone expressing themselves but like they say at Christ Embassy, make sure its “worth hearing/reading as d case is.
I love these PEOPLE though…ma familia… For details of the blog addresses for the abovelisted peeps, hit me up on Twitter, yeah?
*takes a bow* not bow as in bowing but bow as in ready to shoot anyone who steps to me*