Ok, this is the last of the ‘Seriousness’ ahn ahn “why so serious?”…here’s something sent to me as a result of the pain and hurt felt by one of us as she read the previous pieces.
Why do we girls equate an orgasm with feelings? Why cant we just do it for the high of it like the boys? Wouldn’t that be swell? Lemme tell u some stories.
Cool headed Frank was flirting with Nike and heating things up on twitter and bbm. They were compatible and Nike thought she’d found that special person that made her feel sweet -soul mates! But oh! that was before the AY Show and the 2 rounds of sex right after that and the ominous silence that followed thereafter.
Same could not be said about Tessy, who had been dating Chijoke since their 3rd year in the University and they had a beautiful Non-Sexual-Relationship aiming at an altar-bound future…well, that was before they joined Twitter where some girls asked Chi for a meet and greet. In no time, Chi asked Tess to close her twitter account, but he didn’t know Frank (referred to above). Frank, who sends strictly DM’s to Tess and does not tweet @ her. Frank had surreptitiously given her more attention than Chijoke had and even opened her mind to sexual possibilities. Frank, eventually frankly penetrated and moved on.
But here I am! With Frank! Who does not tweet @ me because everything we do is between Yahoo messenger and DM’s. He says he loves our convo and when I asked why, he said he wants to put it on me! So, right now, Frank imagines doing naughty things to my body while Tessy cries to me on bbm on how to revive what she had with Chijoke and how Frank ‘soiled’ her but Frank is unaware of the salient fact that I know and cry with Tessy some nights….
I may have changed the names but these are true stories. As girls, we need to realize and embrace the fact that while attraction translates to feelings for us, it only leads to sex for dudes. SEX- its their Testosterone, has got nothing to do with logic or reasoning.
There’s this huge line between Sex and Love. Those stories were shared so as to help us make less mistakes. Mistakes we may never recover from. Yes, I know that it takes a lot of observation to know if the guy wants sex or wants you as a whole, so, always ask what the objective of the liaison is. Even when he says love, remember, it is far easier for a guy to suppress his feelings…so, don’t go falling unnecessarily as you may never know his real intention.
The single thread shared by Tessy, Ify and Nike is not that they have been used and dumped, they have been lied to, heartbroken and now trying to pick back the pieces of their lives but they will never remain the same! They are speaking out to help us, warn our sisters, friends and loved ones to exercise just a little caution, a little reasoning and to know that love is easier said than given!
And if you’ve been in such a precarious situation before, know that, no mistake, no heartbreak can take away what you are meant to be and that verily, in each tear, there’s surely a lesson!
Yes, that most people are not worth wasting your feelings on. Its futile. Don’t go there! Ask them if they want Sex or a Relationship and when you venture into pure sexual ish, set your emotions accordingly and hope your head and heart obeys you. And of course, you can always say NO! And let go of the orgasm. Better ones are yet to come. It is not love. Do not get it mixed up.
And guys, yes I’m aware boys will be boys and being truthful all d time won’t get d girls.. Don’t go professing love wen u just wanna have sex. Be a little clearer from the onset. Don’t pretend you are interested in their life and a relationship when u just wanna get laid! Trust me, you won’t consider it cool when the tables are turned! Who do you think you are? Leaving scars scattered everywhere.
Karma is a bitch, I tell u!