08 May

Ok, this is the last of the ‘Seriousness’ ahn ahn “why so serious?”…here’s something sent to me as a result of the pain and hurt felt by one of us as she read the previous pieces.

By @ThelmaTweets

Why do we girls equate an orgasm with feelings? Why cant we just do it for the high of it like the boys? Wouldn’t that be swell? Lemme tell u some stories.

Cool headed Frank was flirting with Nike and heating things up on twitter and bbm. They were compatible and Nike thought she’d found that special person that made her feel sweet -soul mates! But oh! that was before the AY Show and the 2 rounds of sex right after that and the ominous silence that followed thereafter.
Same could not be said about Tessy, who had been dating Chijoke since their 3rd year in the University and they had a beautiful Non-Sexual-Relationship aiming at an altar-bound future…well, that was before they joined Twitter where some girls asked Chi for a meet and greet. In no time, Chi asked Tess to close her twitter account, but he didn’t know Frank (referred to above). Frank, who sends strictly DM’s to Tess and does not tweet @ her. Frank had surreptitiously given her more attention than Chijoke had and even opened her mind to sexual possibilities. Frank, eventually frankly penetrated and moved on.
But here I am! With Frank! Who does not tweet @ me because everything we do is between Yahoo messenger and DM’s. He says he loves our convo and when I asked why, he said he wants to put it on me! So, right now, Frank imagines doing naughty things to my body while Tessy cries to me on bbm on how to revive what she had with Chijoke and how Frank ‘soiled’ her but Frank is unaware of the salient fact that I know and cry with Tessy some nights….

I may have changed the names but these are true stories. As girls, we need to realize and embrace the fact that while attraction translates to feelings for us, it only leads to sex for dudes. SEX- its their Testosterone, has got nothing to do with logic or reasoning.
There’s this huge line between Sex and Love. Those stories were shared so as to help us make less mistakes. Mistakes we may never recover from. Yes, I know that it takes a lot of observation to know if the guy wants sex or wants you as a whole, so, always ask what the objective of the liaison is. Even when he says love, remember, it is far easier for a guy to suppress his feelings…so, don’t go falling unnecessarily as you may never know his real intention.

The single thread shared by Tessy, Ify and Nike is not that they have been used and dumped, they have been lied to, heartbroken and now trying to pick back the pieces of their lives but they will never remain the same! They are speaking out to help us, warn our sisters, friends and loved ones to exercise just a little caution, a little reasoning and to know that love is easier said than given!
And if you’ve been in such a precarious situation before, know that, no mistake, no heartbreak can take away what you are meant to be and that verily, in each tear, there’s surely a lesson!

Yes, that most people are not worth wasting your feelings on. Its futile. Don’t go there! Ask them if they want Sex or a Relationship and when you venture into pure sexual ish, set your emotions accordingly and hope your head and heart obeys you. And of course, you can always say NO! And let go of the orgasm. Better ones are yet to come. It is not love. Do not get it mixed up.

And guys, yes I’m aware boys will be boys and being truthful all d time won’t get d girls.. Don’t go professing love wen u just wanna have sex. Be a little clearer from the onset. Don’t pretend you are interested in their life and a relationship when u just wanna get laid! Trust me, you won’t consider it cool when the tables are turned! Who do you think you are? Leaving scars scattered everywhere.

Karma is a bitch, I tell u!


Posted by on May 8, 2011 in Life


20 responses to “Bye-LinE

  1. Sick_Sage

    May 8, 2011 at 9:15 am

    Ehm. . .I must be d first to comment today; seems like this piece is for the ladies, so I will hold my very bad mouth and refrain from pointing out d obvious stupidity of thinking s’mun is ur soulmate after just a coupla weeks.

    • highlandblue

      July 5, 2011 at 1:39 pm

      I love ur style of refraining from eating the cake after swallowing it whole! Suparb!!! (sic)

  2. Ms_Odunsi

    May 8, 2011 at 9:56 am

    Well you’ve mentioned soo much and i’m sure this or similar may have happend to quite a number of babes out there.. Truth be told tho, some babes are quite stupid and naive..u meet a guy and all u do is judge him only by what he says n does..thats soo not enuf..also why do some of y’all feel coding the guy frm other ppl wud make it better.. All these crap starts when ur tryna do underG! Trust me guys knw this shit! And they use it to ur fault! Dont be stupid!!! Ask ppl about him.. Dig in and hear..i’m sure atleast a few may knw the ‘real’ him..
    In evrything i still believe guys only cont cos they find those babes who let me long tin but it takes me time before i can finally come to terms with dating/having anything wiv any guy.. Decide wot u want frm the start and stop blaming guys all the time!

  3. juwa

    May 8, 2011 at 9:58 am

    ……Nice piece!! We ladies shud learn to think deeply dan to just get carried away by mere words,,,guys will always be guys!!! They LIE a lot thinking they r being smart!!!

  4. aubrey

    May 8, 2011 at 10:03 am

    Thelma, u’re sooo right. ther’s ds tin about ‘bad guys’ dt gurlz feel attracted to. Back then in secondary school, I felt it’s cos they didn’t knw better, now it seems they (d gurlz) deliberately jump into relationships wit well known bad guyz, hoping to change ’em? I wonder. They end up getting wt dey didn’t ask for. Its nt dt I’m un sympathetic, just dt u dnt play wit fire…(matters bcom worse wen u knw its fire) nd xpect nt to get burned. Those of us ‘gud guyz’ bcame bad guyz cos bein a gud guy ‘seem’ nt to pay. D bad 1s get ’em al…u want ’em…u bcom bad. Simple logic…well…Of cos ther’s always karma…nd yea, she’s a real bitch!

  5. katie

    May 8, 2011 at 10:22 am

    i have wondered a couple of times why we girls have issues doing sex with no strings attached…feelings always get in the way…its kinda like an std than rubbers cant prevent……recently i met a guy who ended up liking this girl he was supposed to be having ‘casual sex’ with and when he told her she clearly didnt feel the same….i felt a lil bad for him but the inner devil in me was glad a couple of guys can feel the pain we go through

  6. Skilobo

    May 8, 2011 at 10:31 am


  7. SlevinCalevra

    May 8, 2011 at 10:34 am

    A man has two primary drives in early adulthood; one toward power, success and accomplishment. The other toward love, companionship and SEX. Truth is you girls give it up a lil too easily sometimes. Even if you make it so difficult, some of us guys will still persist till we succeed. (Refer to the success and accomplishment part) My advice to the female folk is to make us wait for the kpansh if it’s worth anything to you. Hopefully, if we wait long enough, we would’ve come out of early adulthood.

    • Mike

      May 8, 2011 at 12:23 pm

      Na only u go do that waiting,if it aint gonna work let the dude know.simple

  8. Motunrayo

    May 8, 2011 at 10:34 am

    I’d always said this-guys should realise dat a girl would sleep wiv
    U if she wants 2 whether or not u r in a relationship.
    U never need 2 lie,don’t go professing love if u don’t feel it.
    Girls enjoy sex as much as guys do too.

  9. fresh prince

    May 8, 2011 at 10:49 am

    ‎​​​Lol….so she’s gonna be interested if he said sex instead of Love right?…dey there na….yes means she’s †ð be taken as ho….
    The gurls Yõµ tell Yõµ are interested in sex with, na the σηεs wey no carry fire for head

  10. CeceNoStockings

    May 8, 2011 at 11:18 am

    I love this post 🙂

    Honestly, some girls like to complicate their lives. It’s like they haven’t heard assumption is the root of disaster. Stop assuming he’s really interested in your mind. Stop assuming he just talks about sex ALL THE TIME because that’s “how he knows to express himself”. If he a guy is sending you messages about what he wants to your body, guess what? He WANTS to do those things to your body. Please, I say this because I’m attempting to care. Keep your emotions in check. If you want something more than a physical r/ship with a guy, open your mouth and say so. If he’s not interested, move the fuck on. Stop ruining the beauty of pure, no-strings sex by catching feelings.

    And for the guys actually lying to girls that they want something deeper than sex, all I have to say to you is that you are falling hands and ruining it for everyone else. Please be more straightforward. You tell a girl you want something deep, you shag her, you leave her, she’s depressed, she expects the next person who comes along to pick up the pieces and show her that not all guys are the same. Stop it. It’s not funny. If you tell her you just want to shag and she ian’t down, there are plenty others who will. You know this.

    • highlandblue

      July 5, 2011 at 1:40 pm

      I only saw one line in this entire rant. And I quote: ..”the beauty of pure, no-strings sex…” Oh my dayz!

  11. saka idris

    May 8, 2011 at 12:21 pm

    This that, over big crap…………pls and pls, to the gurls, lay and get laid, for the guys, everything good will come……..but then, I gats to agree with all em conc points here…….. Baba kevin, u too much…….hehehehe…….

  12. efaguevara

    May 8, 2011 at 1:47 pm

    Karma is also a club in Lagos sha ☺

  13. Kevin

    May 8, 2011 at 2:04 pm

    Nice…d final nd most serious episode of the series…good job Thelma nd everyone…

  14. ibetapassmyneighbour

    May 8, 2011 at 2:05 pm

    Seriously…can we get pass ds twitter sex/love wotever issue…thers a lot of oda stuffs hapenin really!!

  15. Kris Paow

    May 9, 2011 at 12:51 am

    @thelmatweets…dat ws a profound message…evry guy wants to get laid,some gurls can’t read d handwritting on d wall,it doesn’t mak them a fool buh afterwards it teaches them a lesson…guys quickly gets tired of their gurls all bcos they(guys)believe they av seen in n out so nothing is new n they look for an excuse to back out n try d nxt door wich seems like a mission,d gurls shud work hard in makin d guys want more..wat makes a man want more frm a woman n wanting to keep her is the content of her entity n hw productive n assisting a woman cud b to him….one very gud question bfor you jump into a relationship,find out frm eachoder,y you love eachoder n nt jst opening yo mouth to say I LOVE YOU…tnx

  16. HUGOverified

    May 9, 2011 at 1:12 pm


  17. kblewin

    May 9, 2011 at 5:40 pm

    *erm* *erm*… girls will always be girls. all mushy and ‘lovey lovey’. Boys will always be boys… #shikena
    it isnt always about sex for guys sha.
    Karma is a bitch? oh well, na to fuck her sure pass 😐

    Nice one Thelma… 🙂


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