I know its said that you should remove the speck in your eye before attempting to remove the log in another’s. What you are about to read isn’t someone’s account or information received by virtue of study. This right here is me sharing stuff that I (Dizzle) has done Yup! so it was really easy getting into the mind of the guy in this ‘story’
I’m no Saint.. ain’t much of a Sinner either
I’ll probably be crucified after this but *shrugs*, call me Jesus.
*BB headphones blaring at maximum volume* “Oleku! Tell me shawty wey I no fit screw, do not open this sir…she’s feeling this boy”….
*doing the choc-boy sway*
Yessir! That has been my theme song for the past month because it so aptly describes my conquests. Oh yes! I’m a conqueror, NO! Scratch that, I’m MORE than a conqueror! Its fun being me, don’t give me that eye, a lot of you will give anything to be where I am..for the sake of those who just came from MySpace, Mars or Bounty, the name is Dizzle. Its no use saying again that “I’m your LADIES man! She must have told you that already. Or you must have heard/read about me. Yes! When it comes to ladies and me, be afraid…be VERY afraid!
Oh, fuck you too!
*knock on the door* “NIPOSTman”
“A letter, who the ‘ell writes letters in 2011? This person must either be old fashioned, miserly or its some spam letter ish. I hope its not those ‘Awake’ bulletins o…I can like to give iya Ruki down the road to fry her akara..I’m sure by the time I give her 100 copies, she will trust me when I ask her to let Ruki come to my place and pick some more, of course, I will ‘awake’ in Ruki something she hasn’t experienced before she leaves”
*snaps back to reality, opens letter, sees sender, heart skips, skips again, sinks 2d floor*
“What the fuck?! I’m not reading this letter ahn ahn, this babe abeg free me…”
*paces around room, screams silently*
“Why is she on my case? Is she the first? That’s why I don’t like all these smallies!” Fuck! Fuckitty! Fuck!!!
*reminscing* It started on Twitter…
I can’t find any humble words to say “I’m blessed”. That’s the ‘humblest’ I can go. I’m blessed with looks, a voice to make traffic lights stay on green and a brain that works overtime, constantly churning out sarcasm, wit and creative rubbish at speeds that most minds can’t conceive…throw in Tech savvy, cool and trendy and yup! That’s your man: Dizzle…it was only normal I joined Twitter.
9 months after and 62,000 tweets in d bag, I had become a kinda icon. Everyone knew ‘Diz’-the ladies man..I used my wit so easily I charmed d ladies easier than a flute playing snake charmer. Of course, it wasn’t hard..I tweet funny stuff, they RT, I reply with a “MWAH!” And they get all wet..yup!
Easy as A,B see?
Its not news that we guys are moved by what we see (avatars) and girls are moved more by the things they hear/read (in this case). I look out for the daring avatars, the sexy, attractive ones..then i monitor your words: how ‘vocal’ you are with words like ‘fuck’, ‘dick’ etc…yeah i like that!! Like an enemy in the sight of cross hairs, i fix my aim and prepare to squeeze the trigger…
I hardly miss..nah! I DON’T miss!
Then I saw her…she had the sexiest avatar I had seen in a while, while others were trying hard, downloading boobs from the net and pouting like hooked fishes in front of toilet mirrors, she was a natural! Yeah, her top two buttons were undone so I could see the heave, the bulge (OMG! Its so vivid)…she RT’d a tweet of mine..and I replied with my normal *MWAH!* we got into light convo and then she did the norm “#nwff dizzle, pls ff back!”. Now I don’t ff back just ‘cos you follow me but..I followed her and immediately DM’d saying “I would follow you to the end of the world babe”…she giggled..
I knew I had her.
She became the object in my DM’s..I’d check up on her early in the morning, flirt with her, Tweet at her, sub her, the whole 140 characters aka 9 yards…then 2 days later, I said “babe 140 xters aint allowing me express my desires, gimme ur pin”. Test of her tripping..she didn’t even object..this was gonna be easy.
After plenty Voice Notes, picture sending, videos and chats, I told her I ‘loved’ her and she said she felt the same. That was IT! JACKPOT!! (This word ‘love’ seems to be the key to their hearts! I don’t get it but it works for me..ha!) we decided to meet..Before then though, I had made sure the content of our discussions were mostly sexual..we had played Truth or Dare..she had sent me a half nude picture (with her top and bra off), I had sent her a pic of my ‘kini’, I had shared all my sexual escapades with her (mostly fantasies and lies)..in her mind, I was a god! This was so that when we meet, she’ll have those thoughts clog her mind and it will be easy to make my move..
TL—>DM—>BBM—>MOVIES—>SEX—>on to the next tweep
That’s my cycle… 3 weeks after she followed me on Twitter, I had her follow me to a hotel room, Fuck! I had followed her for 3 weeks, I normally seal the deal in a week. I had been patient enough. Oh! The sex was good. She loved d way I ‘handled’ her, I could tell cos she moaned ‘dizzle’ (try saying that in the height of pleasure, you see?) That night, we went four rounds..I had to make sure I was totally satisfied. I slowly took her to ‘heaven’. We stopped along the way a couple of times just to ensure that the crave for the euphoric feeling was worth it..
I had promised to “follow her to the end of the world”. We had just got there.
*Another one bites the dust*
That’s how I roll, that’s what I do on Twitter..relationship? Nigga What??? Nah..Its strictly sex, but they don’t know that! There have been plenty others, a whole lot! Don’t be judging me, Love hasn’t been kind to me. I realize that the only place or time I can have any feelings whatsoever is at marriage-if i get there… Till then though, its still Dizzle burning up your TL
There are more now since I won “most popular tweep, @sexy_lipsss is my latest”
DM From: @sexy_lipsss
Sent: May 4th, 2011 20:28
Baby, been pinging u! What time do we meet at d hotel? Pls reply..I love u
And this one is writing me letter…she should fucking go and deal with her insecurities!
So friends, here’s the general thought pattern of the normal Twitter flirt. .sound familiar? Do let me know your thoughts in the comment box…cheers!