SeRIOuslY 2

06 May

I know its said that you should remove the speck in your eye before attempting to remove the log in another’s. What you are about to read isn’t someone’s account or information received by virtue of study. This right here is me sharing stuff that I (Dizzle) has done Yup! so it was really easy getting into the mind of the guy in this ‘story’

I’m no Saint.. ain’t much of a Sinner either

I’ll probably be crucified after this but *shrugs*, call me Jesus.

*BB headphones blaring at maximum volume* “Oleku! Tell me shawty wey I no fit screw, do not open this sir…she’s feeling this boy”….

*doing the choc-boy sway*

Yessir! That has been my theme song for the past month because it so aptly describes my conquests. Oh yes! I’m a conqueror, NO! Scratch that, I’m MORE than a conqueror! Its fun being me, don’t give me that eye, a lot of you will give anything to be where I am..for the sake of those who just came from MySpace, Mars or Bounty, the name is Dizzle. Its no use saying again that “I’m your LADIES man! She must have told you that already. Or you must have heard/read about me. Yes! When it comes to ladies and me, be afraid…be VERY afraid!

Oh, fuck you too!

*knock on the door* “NIPOSTman”

“A letter, who the ‘ell writes letters in 2011? This person must either be old fashioned, miserly or its some spam letter ish. I hope its not those ‘Awake’ bulletins o…I can like to give iya Ruki down the road to fry her akara..I’m sure by the time I give her 100 copies, she will trust me when I ask her to let Ruki come to my place and pick some more, of course, I will ‘awake’ in Ruki something she hasn’t experienced before she leaves”

*snaps back to reality, opens letter, sees sender, heart skips, skips again, sinks 2d floor*

“What the fuck?! I’m not reading this letter ahn ahn, this babe abeg free me…”

*paces around room, screams silently*

“Why is she on my case? Is she the first? That’s why I don’t like all these smallies!” Fuck! Fuckitty! Fuck!!!

*reminscing* It started on Twitter…

I can’t find any humble words to say “I’m blessed”. That’s the ‘humblest’ I can go. I’m blessed with looks, a voice to make traffic lights stay on green and a brain that works overtime, constantly churning out sarcasm, wit and creative rubbish at speeds that most minds can’t conceive…throw in Tech savvy, cool and trendy and yup! That’s your man: Dizzle…it was only normal I joined Twitter.

9 months after and 62,000 tweets in d bag, I had become a kinda icon. Everyone knew ‘Diz’-the ladies man..I used my wit so easily I charmed d ladies easier than a flute playing snake charmer. Of course, it wasn’t hard..I tweet funny stuff, they RT, I reply with a “MWAH!” And they get all wet..yup!

Easy as A,B see?

Its not news that we guys are moved by what we see (avatars) and girls are moved more by the things they hear/read (in this case). I look out for the daring avatars, the sexy, attractive ones..then i monitor your words: how ‘vocal’ you are with words like ‘fuck’, ‘dick’ etc…yeah i like that!! Like an enemy in the sight of cross hairs, i fix my aim and prepare to squeeze the trigger…

I hardly miss..nah! I DON’T miss!

Then I saw her…she had the sexiest avatar I had seen in a while, while others were trying hard, downloading boobs from the net and pouting like hooked fishes in front of toilet mirrors, she was a natural! Yeah, her top two buttons were undone so I could see the heave, the bulge (OMG! Its so vivid)…she RT’d a tweet of mine..and I replied with my normal *MWAH!* we got into light convo and then she did the norm “#nwff dizzle, pls ff back!”. Now I don’t ff back just ‘cos you follow me but..I followed her and immediately DM’d saying “I would follow you to the end of the world babe”…she giggled..

I knew I had her.

She became the object in my DM’s..I’d check up on her early in the morning, flirt with her, Tweet at her, sub her, the whole 140 characters aka 9 yards…then 2 days later, I said “babe 140 xters aint allowing me express my desires, gimme ur pin”. Test of her tripping..she didn’t even object..this was gonna be easy.
After plenty Voice Notes, picture sending, videos and chats, I told her I ‘loved’ her and she said she felt the same. That was IT! JACKPOT!! (This word ‘love’ seems to be the key to their hearts! I don’t get it but it works for me..ha!) we decided to meet..Before then though, I had made sure the content of our discussions were mostly sexual..we had played Truth or Dare..she had sent me a half nude picture (with her top and bra off), I had sent her a pic of my ‘kini’, I had shared all my sexual escapades with her (mostly fantasies and lies) her mind, I was a god! This was so that when we meet, she’ll have those thoughts clog her mind and it will be easy to make my move..

TL—>DM—>BBM—>MOVIES—>SEX—>on to the next tweep

That’s my cycle… 3 weeks after she followed me on Twitter, I had her follow me to a hotel room, Fuck! I had followed her for 3 weeks, I normally seal the deal in a week. I had been patient enough. Oh! The sex was good. She loved d way I ‘handled’ her, I could tell cos she moaned ‘dizzle’ (try saying that in the height of pleasure, you see?) That night, we went four rounds..I had to make sure I was totally satisfied. I slowly took her to ‘heaven’. We stopped along the way a couple of times just to ensure that the crave for the euphoric feeling was worth it..

I had promised to “follow her to the end of the world”. We had just got there.

*Another one bites the dust*

That’s how I roll, that’s what I do on Twitter..relationship? Nigga What??? Nah..Its strictly sex, but they don’t know that! There have been plenty others, a whole lot! Don’t be judging me, Love hasn’t been kind to me. I realize that the only place or time I can have any feelings whatsoever is at marriage-if i get there… Till then though, its still Dizzle burning up your TL

There are more now since I won “most popular tweep, @sexy_lipsss is my latest”

*BB beeps*

DM From: @sexy_lipsss
Sent: May 4th, 2011 20:28

Baby, been pinging u! What time do we meet at d hotel? Pls reply..I love u

And this one is writing me letter…she should fucking go and deal with her insecurities!

*tears letter*

So friends, here’s the general thought pattern of the normal Twitter flirt. .sound familiar? Do let me know your thoughts in the comment box…cheers!


Posted by on May 6, 2011 in Life


109 responses to “SeRIOuslY 2

  1. pheary

    May 6, 2011 at 6:56 am

    WOW!! *Blank Stare**** No i’m not surprised…but wow!

  2. @Jacy_luff

    May 6, 2011 at 6:59 am

    Yaay! I’m d first to leave a comment, I shall be back 😀

  3. @Jacy_luff

    May 6, 2011 at 7:03 am

    Damn!! *now scrollin thru my followers list* iHope “Diz-the ladies man” isn’t followin me….Errrrm one word for U Dizzle— AIDS is real & e no dey show 4 face..#okbye!

    I 4got to add— dis is a wonderful piece of writin..

  4. Kevin

    May 6, 2011 at 7:06 am

    Hehe…this is fun…nd yeah it does sound familiar, but NIPOST! Yepa! I thought those guys were out of business lol…Lovely read Kelvin nd crew (Y)

  5. barbie

    May 6, 2011 at 7:09 am

    Wow! Wasn’t expecting that….still a bit dazed…great writing tho…but I’m still confused on whether I like “Dizzle” or hate him ℓoℓ…

    • SlevinCalevra

      May 6, 2011 at 7:38 am

      Of course you like him…

  6. anita foy

    May 6, 2011 at 7:11 am

    dats a normal flirt’s stuff. d girl shld av knwn frm d onset d kind of guy he is cs he made dat clear by makin deir conversatn only abt sex. any guy dat drifts in2 sex issues in jus day 2 or 1week of constant conversation isnt serious. anyways as 4d guy,lets hope nemesis dsnt catch up wiv him. he shld tink mur of d future dan present.

  7. Slim

    May 6, 2011 at 7:12 am

    Hahaaa…you guys are terrible!

  8. Intoxyka

    May 6, 2011 at 7:13 am

    Ok, nice piece though. Can’t help but feel fear and pity for his potential ‘victims’. In the previous post, i was like ‘ seriously babe, get over it. Shit happens’, now i just feel pity at the callousness of the situation. Sad tho, that the heart has to be a stubborn, tenacious thing… Nice one, kev.

    • Kelvin

      May 6, 2011 at 7:47 am

      Yeah, as stubborn as the heart is, it ‘breaks’ easy…should been made with kpomo..

  9. Annie

    May 6, 2011 at 7:13 am

    Disappointin…& only bcos I wz hopin he’d actli hv a human side. Unfortunately he IS really jst a shit.

  10. wordsofanaries

    May 6, 2011 at 7:20 am

    WOW…another lovely piece, beautifully expressed. As per ur antics, I’m not surprised although it’s quite worrying how easy it is via twitter 2 get some girls 2 give it up. Nice one man!

  11. a_lil_xtra

    May 6, 2011 at 7:24 am

    ………… ok,i think i’m officially speechless! dunno why i shd be this surprised tho’…boiz will be boiz..but 2 be without a single iota of remorse is just sick!!! “Another one bites d dust”? C’mon!!! *smh*
    Erh…Kev,u DON’T think like dis…do you??

    • Kelvin

      May 6, 2011 at 7:49 am

      I wrote it sha…but NO…I don’t think like this! 😐

  12. thetoolsman

    May 6, 2011 at 7:25 am

    Kelvin Kelvin Kelvin .. how many times did I call you? Hope you’re prepared for what happens tonight. Goodluck…

    • Kelvin

      May 6, 2011 at 7:45 am

      Can’t they wait till May 22nd? Please??

      • thetoolsman

        May 6, 2011 at 8:35 am

        Err.. I don’t werk for them.. I was also summoned after putting up a few “revealing” posts..

      • kblewin

        May 6, 2011 at 11:18 am

        warris this? some illuminati sturvs?? 😐

  13. MzLucyM

    May 6, 2011 at 7:30 am

    Wow!ok.. Looked 4ward to this and I am soo not disappointed! Kelvin (y)!. Sad how guys like this 4gt that karma’s a bitch!!!

    • Kelvin

      May 6, 2011 at 7:44 am

      Yeah..but these guys! Have got karma on the lockdown! They are Alpha Dogs..
      Thanks for reading

  14. kechilauren

    May 6, 2011 at 7:31 am

    Kevin..whattt!!!!ur on fire…nicccce word play!!!!

  15. freshprinz

    May 6, 2011 at 7:34 am

    “I’m no Saint.. ain’t much of a Sinner either

    I’ll probably be crucified after this but *shrugs*, call me Jesus.” (LWKM…see BLASPHEMY)

    You’re not only going to be crucified but burned at the cross for this one kev. Damn, u just dished out the M.O of a lot of tweeps out there. too bad u’re one of them….hahaha…

    but wait, why wud u even do this?? or u considering getting a new hobby?? changing ur ways and becoming an ex-whore (it’d be nice to have new members :D) or are u so cocky u believe u’ll still get babes to smash after this????

    All in all, u just made my morning….:D

    Note to all those who’re offended by this piece I can tell u where you can find kev for a small fee. just DM @freshprinz and i’ll hook you up….=))
    (ladies only o, as for guys u know wat to do…..I see transformers….lonely transformers)

    • Kelvin

      May 6, 2011 at 7:38 am

      LWKM…ure just a Phool!!!

      But u knw what, at d end of writing this, I thot: this might just make some hate me enough to love me…u know like hate d character but love me for the exposé
      But then I remembered you and decided to leave all the drama for u..

      I’m clean, and BTW jesus is also a spanish name!

      • freshprinz

        May 6, 2011 at 7:53 am

        yeah, a spanish guy dat was crucified :> joker. After this post i’m not sure how ‘clean’ u can be o….x_x

  16. common sense

    May 6, 2011 at 7:39 am

    Exactly the same pattern that buffoon of a guy took me thru… God punish him by d way… Ladies BEWARE!!!

    Kev, I’m suspecting u… Re u sure u’ve not done dis b4?

    Nice post!!!

    • Kelvin

      May 6, 2011 at 7:41 am

      I hereby confess to have done all but….

      Thanx for reading!

  17. SlevinCalevra

    May 6, 2011 at 7:41 am

    It’s a lie!!! *Mouth ajar, arms akimbo*

  18. xx_xx

    May 6, 2011 at 7:49 am

    Ok..I know y’all are goin mad over this post..but as are most things, there are 2 sides to look at it.
    I’ve been in rship for sommetime nw.nd Yes!I met him on twitter.but we hav the most amazing thing goin on for us.
    We’ve never had sex as I’m a virgin, nd I intend on keepin it bbtw.we’ve never even said “I love u” bcuzzz we respect he DEEP that word is,to go throwing it around.ryt nw, we just care for each other deeply nd we SHOW it.
    My point is NOT all twittter hookups go bad, the key is for the individuals to haav gone on an intense path of self discovery,like we hav, know wht worrks for you, the kinda of personality ur compatible with.etc. this is ti saay that if ur the innocent girrl that has moral values, u shd know who u gv ur pins to, or dm constantly. If ur just on twitter for SEX.well u know better dn to complain when ur pussy is the new “openerr” being passed around.
    I’ve been on twitterr for a yl, hav gotten A LOT of advances, but thanks to wisdom nd God’s gRace.I’ve handled them well..kept fun acquaintances nd still hav mmy virginityy intact with a SUPER bboyfriend(I gt ffrom twitter).so u see..its really about u guys.DONOT BLAME TWITTER

  19. nengie

    May 6, 2011 at 7:50 am

    Oh wow…. I’ll be on the look out for all dizle-like creatures….

  20. Jennifer Abah

    May 6, 2011 at 7:51 am

    Lovely piece,very well written…that said,Dizzle is a wicked somebody oh! Chai! Father God Jehovah Shammah(if that’s not d spelling,my mum will be disappointed) hide me from all such followers in Jesus’ mighty name.If Dizzle wants to follow me,father send the Holyghost fire to crash his BB! AMEN!

    • Dizzle

      May 6, 2011 at 8:49 am

      I will use my iphone… :p

      • Jennifer Abah

        May 6, 2011 at 9:00 am

        I have Sango for that….web?Ogun! Snaptu? Amadioha! Sopona,Karashika and Buddha are in my phonebook as well!

  21. Kleopahtra

    May 6, 2011 at 7:52 am

    Baby i really enjoyed ds post..n its bin a while u mentioned me….P.S i Love You…..
    Damn..!iv got nufffin 2 say…i just Pray i never fall a victim…!infact i nid 2 set a criteria 4 ppl hu can Dm me…i jes hope mr Dizzle knws he has Sisters,Female Cousins n female frnds he rili cares abt??n hp he knws he has a hrt?it wld surely suffer d same fate of d ladies he hs used…!
    Brilliant use of words…n i tried pronouncin Dizzle….oh well!…….

    • Kelvin

      May 6, 2011 at 8:37 am

      Haha!! U can’t pronounce ‘Dizzle’ all by urself babe, ure gonna need help to hit the right
      Tnx for droppin in as usual..MWAH!!
      Uh oh!!

  22. SlevinCalevra

    May 6, 2011 at 7:53 am

    I have one qweshun “bet why?” Ok bros, i know what you are doing. Now all the gehs will be DMing you for advice abi? You want to tiff all d remaining gehs abi? Ewino work. Anyway, *shrugs* WE will find a way around this. WE will change tactics… *cocks gun*.

    • freshprinz

      May 6, 2011 at 7:56 am

      LMAO….na to change tactics remain o. and dizzle is definitely not going to get a memo as regards the new M.O….signed ‘the order’.

      • Kelvin

        May 6, 2011 at 8:34 am

        Be there, I’ve got inside men still loyal..and ‘the order’ can’t do without me. I’ll just prove to ’em I’ve still got it..

      • SlevinCalevra

        May 6, 2011 at 10:52 am

        @ Kelvin*Yimu* Inside men abi? We shall see. I take it that you have seen the movie, “Inception”. No?
        @freshprinz I’m sure he knows what’s gonna happen to him. This is gonna be fun! LOL

  23. The Stig.

    May 6, 2011 at 7:54 am

    Interesting *sipping Martini*

  24. Dazzlerbosslady

    May 6, 2011 at 8:00 am

    Can’t SåƔ i’M̶̲̅ surprised, cuz i knw there я guys LƔk dat, n there я dumb gurls who will fall 4 their lies, i feel sorry 4 them sha…..gud job on D̶̲̥̅̊ story doe

  25. callMeAyoDeji

    May 6, 2011 at 8:03 am

    hahahaha … *I followed her and immediately DM’d saying “I would follow you to the end of the world babe”…she giggled..* choi!! see film trick oo u dey dia wey u knw sey she giggle?? okies serzly ur bursting a lot of bubbles oo kev … aniwais nice sequel bigups! 🙂

    • Kelvin

      May 6, 2011 at 8:32 am

      Thanks bossman..

  26. piriyecaleb

    May 6, 2011 at 8:16 am

    Yekpa o!!! I’ve been dazzled by dizzle. Kai!! HIV, oya do ur thing sharp sharp!!!

    • kblewin

      May 6, 2011 at 11:16 am

      Azinn! sharpAly!! no time… LOL

  27. ibetapassmyneighbour

    May 6, 2011 at 8:18 am

    Poutin like hooked fishes ….toilet mirror…lwkmd!!!
    Well nice write up! Too bad 4 dem gehs but e dey happen dats life…..
    I still don’t regret my own “twitter sexcapade*…I mean dizzle went 4 round…..ds guy went 10 rounds!! Damnnnnnn!!!!
    Btw he is an aries….I shd start lookin for aries men!!
    Kelvin re u aries???

    • Kelvin

      May 6, 2011 at 8:30 am

      Sadly for u..I’m aquarius but I can be whatever you want me to be *grins*

      • SlevinCalevra

        May 6, 2011 at 8:54 am

        Scorpio nko? 😦

  28. dammydiva

    May 6, 2011 at 8:20 am

    Nice piece…I v followers like ‘dizzle’, I can only ‘smh’..they wud get wt they rily deserve soon…bt still, babes shld try n get brain…
    Good job

  29. Keyzer Soze

    May 6, 2011 at 8:22 am

    I know at least 10 guys (excluding myself) that regularly chop babes on twitter like this. Its no fantasy, what I wonder is why most of the chopped babes form “I can’t date a guy online”, “How can you f**k a guy you met online”….yada yada yada. Even after they’ve been chopped.

    • Kelvin

      May 6, 2011 at 8:27 am

      Lol @ chopped…

  30. andre

    May 6, 2011 at 8:32 am

    Followers like Ricdizzle, be talk am oh.

  31. ibetapassmyneighbour

    May 6, 2011 at 8:39 am

    Aquarius…fish???? Naaaaaaa….I chew fish bones like choco milo……ur wud probably cum b4 we get started…u dnt want me writing a post about you……loool!

  32. HUGOverified

    May 6, 2011 at 8:55 am

    😦 😦 😦

    • kblewin

      May 6, 2011 at 11:14 am

      O.O guilty conscience???

  33. cecenostockings

    May 6, 2011 at 8:55 am

    Hehehe! I kept smiling throughout! Dizzle!! Lovely lovely read! I can’t talk too much. But everyone should remember there are also female ‘Dizzles’. Plenty sef. Before I talk too much lemme ex.

    PS: When you’re thirsty look for water and drink. Don’t drink coke or sprite unless you can handle the additional thirst thirst.


  34. esuga_suga

    May 6, 2011 at 9:16 am

    I wish dizzle has his hrt broken so bad! Lol

  35. musingsofagidimallam

    May 6, 2011 at 9:25 am

    Kelvin d bawse…ur head is der…now I see y u said peeps wer gonna hate u…but oh well…it’s inevitable…
    Onto d matter at hand (som will hate me for dis)…while I think Dizzle is an ass n a douche bag…I also blame d babes who fall for peeps like him…as in no jokes…if all u talk/tweet about is sex wat else do u think will happen when d sex does happen… were u expectin d dude wld suddenly become a caring n deep person after u guys shagged…oh puleease…it takes 2 mehn…if u dnt put ursef in dat situation u won’t be d maga…angama…*drops d mic b rides into d sunset*…

  36. Adahna

    May 6, 2011 at 9:30 am


  37. kactuskay

    May 6, 2011 at 9:50 am

    Dammmm, dude just murdered some guys future runs..

    Lovely post

  38. blaquewood

    May 6, 2011 at 10:07 am

    I can almost swear with my life that this dizzle guy is @hugoverified lmao

  39. vB

    May 6, 2011 at 10:15 am

    Damn hommie, not good @ all not good!
    U r like wikileaks

    • Slim

      May 6, 2011 at 10:51 am


  40. Delphine

    May 6, 2011 at 10:22 am

    The mars and bounty bit cracked me up!!!
    “I’m a conqueror, scratch that, I’m more than conqueror..” LMAO! Interesting usage of scripture!

    • freshprinz

      May 6, 2011 at 8:08 pm

      i tire for d boy o. using scripture on top dizzleness…smh…

  41. @nikkymandy

    May 6, 2011 at 10:55 am

    Y d̶̲̥̅̊ø I hv a feeling dt I knw ds dizzle guy….*clutching my bible*lord protect ♍ε̲̣̣̣̥……*sighs* wow….1daful ryt up

  42. me

    May 6, 2011 at 11:03 am

    Dat virgin gal said it all

  43. me

    May 6, 2011 at 11:11 am

    Lmao hugo don suffer sha.

  44. Dorchess

    May 6, 2011 at 11:12 am

    K E L V I N…….WOW,dis is actually wat ya’ll do…..God will save us seriously 4.

  45. kblewin

    May 6, 2011 at 11:12 am

    u got me LMAO! love the funny tone of this post! dat mama ruki shit had me smiling… boys badt gan!
    Dizzle is just ur typical flirt/player… nothing new there. smart gehls know how to avoid guys like him. the missus was very very naive to fall for him… oh well. i think i might know this ‘dizzle’ dude…

    Nice one bruv…

  46. Ola

    May 6, 2011 at 11:28 am

    Shit happens and when it does clean up yo ass…if u wanna take a twitter relationship serzz, I laff u in ur village language

  47. Alayna13

    May 6, 2011 at 11:37 am

    It’s only a matter of time,I’ll know who this “Dizzle” guy is.I”m a detective by night *wink*…*sigh* chics need to be very careful,d guy is a douche but the chic had it coming(stay away from guys who throw “muah” at every loretta,chidinma and agatha).guys like that are certified “heart breakers”. And as for the chics who tweet “dick”,”sex”,”pussy” et al….if u no get mind like @ibetapassmyneighbour,nor tweet those kyn tins oh.all these sexual predators go find you & FUCK the hell outta you. *drops mic*

    • Kelvin

      May 6, 2011 at 1:33 pm

      U think u know eh? Hehe..ah well thanks for stopping by!

      • clementina

        May 6, 2011 at 6:32 pm

        this said dizzle is @tufab ….ladies thank me later 😐

      • Kelvin

        May 6, 2011 at 8:22 pm

        And u say this because? Wanna share something dear?
        And before my silence will sound like consent, ihes NOT dizzle as portrayed here.

  48. nonametoday

    May 6, 2011 at 11:50 am

    Kevin, u forgot to mention that dizzle also collects money fron these gurls
    He doesn’t know that the gurls he has screwed over are at this moment plotting his downfall. If he dies mysteriously, you know what happened……….

  49. Mariam

    May 6, 2011 at 12:14 pm

    TL—>DM—>BBM—>MOVIES—>SEX—>on to the next tweep WTH!!! Dizzle fuck u!!!

    • Kelvin

      May 6, 2011 at 1:29 pm

      I’ll be sure to pass the message..

    • Kelvin

      May 6, 2011 at 8:42 pm

      Oh my! Why so serious??

  50. Kachy

    May 6, 2011 at 12:44 pm

    WOW….. Nice One….
    *Oh,lord deliver me from the dizzle’s of these world. AMEN!

  51. @Qurr

    May 6, 2011 at 12:54 pm

    Hahaha what a read. Remarkable! 🙂 Some guys (esp. @***********) go vex for you o! 😀

    *offers knuckles to Kelvin, err… Dizzle… for cracking*

    I know all of this is true and it works perfectly well, cos I guess I am a rather hopeless flirt too, and I know what kinda mess I would be neck-deep in if I never apply enough caution as I ogle after almost most beautiful faces and pretty forms on my TL.

    However for me its just for the thrills, no hunting, no snacking! Every girl I ever flirted with will tell you I never say via DMs what I can’t say on the TL, and I tend to draw the line very quickly and easily if the girl is trying to “catch feelings”; and I, oh I, am ever the lone wolf who enjoys his freedom.

    I’m no Dizzle. Call that chivalry or more likely, cowardice, I dont mind. Either one works for me 🙂

    Okay jokes apart, the Dizzle described here is a useless somebody, and unworthy of any emulation. #okbye 😀

  52. Andhiii

    May 6, 2011 at 12:56 pm

    *Sips orange juice from Martini glass*
    All these angry women that have been scarred by one twitter love or another, I’m offering free therapy sessions in my DM.

    • @Qurr

      May 6, 2011 at 1:02 pm

      LOL! Crazy you…

    • cecenostockings

      May 6, 2011 at 3:55 pm

      *clears throat* ermm, only people that have been scarred?

    • Kelvin

      May 6, 2011 at 8:41 pm

      I knew u were into…you!!

  53. @ineh_angel

    May 6, 2011 at 1:36 pm

    *lips seald*…

    • Kelvin

      May 6, 2011 at 8:38 pm

      Can I change the track now?

  54. mo'

    May 6, 2011 at 2:04 pm

    Dizzle d badt guyz.but seriously d dude made his intentions known he said most of his convos were sex related so as a girl if u r getting involved,u fully know what it is so if u still allow urslf 2 fall then u are a certified dosgbe!
    Nice one kev (y)

    • Kelvin

      May 6, 2011 at 2:34 pm

      Lmao @ that word ‘dosgbe’

  55. @Emmayonce

    May 6, 2011 at 3:55 pm

    I read seRiously 1 yesterday and I felt really bad for the girl, but after reading this, Am LMAO. I swear, this ‘Dizzle’ guy is just a weiist….LOL! Ms. Natural should have known that, judging from the kind of built-in-topic their convo was all about. Well, I hope she’d be able to get over him and move on. *Peace Out*.

  56. joanne

    May 6, 2011 at 4:10 pm

    Once again very well written.

    I sorta expected more…I dunno why really! But all the same shout out to all them guys who get what they want, how they want it n when they want it. It’s not easy to work ur magic out 😉

    *hits play button while bumping head to Trey Songs’ Invented Sex*

    • Kelvin

      May 6, 2011 at 6:25 pm

      Haha! Joanne…uve got some explaining to do when we see…

  57. Didi

    May 6, 2011 at 4:45 pm

    i love dizzle!!! i believe he’s a typical 21st century guy who knows how to get what he wants.
    btw, the girl should have known where their “relationship” was headed. seriously??? who uses that “I would follow you to the end of the world babe” line and you’ll take him serious.
    on the other hand, i guess she just fell for him; whether she planned to or not.
    @dizzle- karma is real. (Karma sutra is too ;))

    • Kelvin

      May 6, 2011 at 8:36 pm

      Oh! Just classic!

  58. @IvyOrji

    May 6, 2011 at 6:31 pm

    Wailing, screaming and tearing my hair out! Where is dis Dizzle….I wee keeeeeee him!

    • Kelvin

      May 6, 2011 at 8:31 pm

      Cc @_dizzzzzle_

  59. JADE

    May 6, 2011 at 7:10 pm

    Well, ‘d heart of ‘man’ IS desperately wicked.
    Anyway, this part actually makes d story kinda a cliche. Happens all d time and not exclusively on twitter or d internet 4 that matter…
    I would say though, not exactly what I was expecting, d dizzle 4 get small human side nau and if twas me, I nor go let u chop and clean mouth o! I must show u, no hiring bad guys 2 beat u up or swearing 4 u o! But dat tin wen u chop, clean mouth 4 so, u go beg 2 chop am again!!! (Sigh, too much soaps)

    • Kelvin

      May 6, 2011 at 8:16 pm

      Jeez!! This is real this from experience miss?

  60. beth

    May 6, 2011 at 9:39 pm

    When I look at the avatars some girls put up, I don’t blame guys for hitting the follow button and geting on the tl->dm->bbm->movies->sex train. If I was a guy I’ll prob do d same…but this dizzle dude is harsh sha, u lay her off small small.

  61. bleh

    May 6, 2011 at 11:00 pm

    this one’s def not as good as the first, and why do u abbreviate to with 2?? its a blog!

  62. wf_SimonSEEZ

    May 7, 2011 at 5:25 am


  63. Sick_Sage

    May 7, 2011 at 7:46 am

    Lessons to learn from Dizzle:
    1) Hotels are the way to go, never take her to ur house, that way she won’t be able 2 stalk U after d Shag-and-dump routine
    2) Keep the sexlationship brief; have sex once,maybe twice, then move on, there’s a lotta work out there waiting to be ‘done’
    3) Callous clean cuts…the CCC routine, don’t try lettin her down slowly; ‘Sweetheart, I don’t reject ur calls, my phone has a mind of it’s own.
    4) If U get a letter by NIPOST. . .don’t open it, it’s prolly from a dumb somebody…or it’s a letter bomb.

    • Kelvin

      May 7, 2011 at 9:02 am

      What a very attentive student…I shall hook u up with dizzle for one-on-one sessions..

  64. juwa

    May 7, 2011 at 7:11 pm

    Kevdizzle!!!!! *i wil b bak*

  65. Skilobo

    May 8, 2011 at 12:52 am

    bwuhahahahaha……oloshi fellow, see as u cat men. but it won’t stop some girls from forming mugu

  66. Sabirah

    May 8, 2011 at 4:01 am

    I’m really confused by situations like this, I guess it stems from the wrong notion that sex is only enjoyed by men. There are many women, who are hot available and willing, its not necessary to lie to a girl about feelings to coerce her into sleeping with you. Step your game up it’s the 21st century.
    It says a lot about you if the only way you can get girls is to convince them about some vague concept called love
    And as for the girl… you know what i actually can’t right now.
    To the owner of the blog- nice series! good job on revealing the “behind the scenes” of twitter 🙂

  67. nessa

    May 8, 2011 at 12:32 pm

    I suspect noble igwe

  68. I am akebaje

    May 21, 2011 at 6:39 pm

    Dizzle = Diesel. Go figure.

    Nice post blad. Btw we use a new m.o. Now.

  69. HeyNicki

    June 12, 2011 at 11:07 am

    First and foremost, we all must be in union with the fact that dizzle is full of a colossal mass of black shit, but this “girl” whatever her name is, she’s idiotic, I mean, the signs were clear, SEX! FULLSTOP! PERIOD! Was she expecting a royal wedding afterwards? Puhleeeze!!! The guy is an ass no less, but I’m dissapointed in the girl, she should have been cautious, she should have known better.The truth was in the DM’s.


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