05 May

The post you are about to read is much more than a post. It is a real occurence.Names have been changed for security and privacy reasons yet the emotions expressed here are as real as they come. Written from a shared experience and “acted” out by the writers, I present to you scene 1: “HerStory”

Written by @SlimSiren

The sun was burning hot.
People climbed up and down, looking at the crazy black girl sitting on the sunny side of stairs. “Wouldn’t you step into the shade, madam?” “Madam, would you like some sunscreen?” One even gave me a bottle of cold water. These oyingbo people sef. When did they stop minding their business?
Couldn’t they see? I needed it. I needed its warmth to seep through my skin, to pervade my cold, cold, being. I needed to roast, I needed my emotions to stew and run like boiling lava down my system. Would they flow like tears from my eyes? Perhaps it would help me wash my insecurities away.


Burn me, dammit!

All it did was prickle my skin like sharp, tiny pins. It didn’t matter. I welcomed the pain too.

Get rid of your insecurities. Get rid of your insecurities. Get rid of your…shut up! Fuck you!!

My insecurities are YOU, bastard!

Did I have insecurities before you came into my life? Did you see insecurities tattooed on my forehead when you perused my twitter avatar?
Mr Dizzle. Answer me. Did you smell insecurities when you mentioned me in that tweet, that tweet that made my heart dance and hair curl? “Perhaps, I should let one my followers know already. Miss @Ifeomatics, you are one hell of a dime and some!”
And those DMs. The proud feeling I got every time one of your thirsty followers questioned your ensuing absence from their timelines, because you were filling my own time with your colorful, panty-dropping lines. The half-a-dozen xoxo’s you sent every time I slept, for each hour you missed me.

Lol. I’m smiling. Damn you, Seye.

How I wish I could roll back to the time you asked for my blackberry pin, and erase that reply that held it. That pin punctured everything beautiful, everything sacred. You became too available, easily readable. I loved that I could talk to you 24/7, until I realized that you didn’t have 24 hours a day to share with me. I didn’t worry too much, was too happy you were there at all. Who wouldn’t want The Dizzle on their BBM list?
It didn’t take too long for me to notice eventually. I wish I never figured it out, I swear. All those BRB’s and never coming back. The different beauties on your display picture every other day. Why wouldn’t I get worried? They were each more beautiful than I was. I was jealous of every one of them, I wanted to rub charcoal on their wide toothed smiles and scream, get your filthy hands off my man!! I had to cinch the deal. When you mentioned us meeting and I jumped at it saying I was free that exact same period, you thought it was coincidence. Hmm. Coincidence indeed.

I wipe the moisture coursing down my face. What, My lava? Oh no. No, please don’t evaporate yet. I’m not out of steam. Please, be sweat.
My Dizzle. The Dizzle. What did I do to you? Where did I go wrong? We had fun at the movies, didn’t we? You laughed so much, tears ran from your eyes and salted the popcorn. I ate them, savoring the taste of you. You taste so beautiful, did you know? When we made love that night, I ran my tongue around your groin, drinking in every bit of you, the sweat, your sperm, my tears…
Did they all do that? Did they hold you while you slept, shivering and babbling incoherent residues from your haunting nightmares? I loved you, Dizzle. Yes. I. Loved. You. Why did you leave? Where did you go? All those read BBM pings and no replies, all those unanswered mentions. More beautiful display pictures. Less xoxo’s.

Until they disappeared all together.
It’s starting to get cold. I look at my wrist watch; its evening already. The cold bottle of water that guy with the mole gave me is still sitting next to me, untouched. I open it and take a swig, get up and dust my behind. Its late, but I’m not in a hurry to go home to Ngozi’s mocking eyes again. Yes, I dated a guy I met online. Yes, I’m in love with a guy I met on twitter barely three weeks ago. Yes, I’m stupid.
Stupidly in love.

I gather my back pack and books together, ready to go home. I don’t bother to check my phone, I know there are no missed calls. He blocked me from every social network- Facebook, Twitter, Yahoo, Blackberry Messenger…

Its not that easy though, Seye. I can’t let him go like that. I would write him a letter.

…So people, this is scene 1, I’m sure some can relate to this. Remember though, this was borne out of the pain one of ‘us’ felt…you may have advice for her or want to share your own experiences as I know she’s reading this.pls drop it in the comments box and also your opinions on @SlimSiren’s character portrayal… Scene 2 should be up tomorrow…


Posted by on May 5, 2011 in Life


139 responses to “SeRIOUslY?

  1. samanthasiren

    May 5, 2011 at 6:35 am


    Twitter is deep oh! I need to start investigating the true characters in this piece.

    Ah ahn! I felt it sha. As in…I can actually relate
    Fucking Bastard has the honey balls to display a pic of his new chick on BBM after..

    Okay.Let me stop

    Siren Nwan’em! Loved it!

    • Kelvin

      May 5, 2011 at 7:41 am

      Haha…I think there are lotsa peeps in this same ‘drama’ so finding the true xters myt just be a tad bit hard 😀
      Anyways, glad u liked..yup! Slim murderlized it..

  2. i too have fallen

    May 5, 2011 at 6:40 am

    You are not alone my dear, I too fell in love wit a guy I met on twitter, frm d mentions to DMs to bbm to fone calls… *sigh* we hung out a few times and I’m lucky we never slept with each other… I’m learning to let go… But if truth be told, I dnt want to… I want to have all to myself, and not see him tweet lovely tweets at the biatch or use their pics as his dp, yes I’m still following him and we chat once in a wyl… Maybe that’s me still hoping!!! *sigh*

  3. musingsofagidimallam

    May 5, 2011 at 6:41 am

    Dis is not a post…dis is not a post…darriz all I’ma say for now mehn…damn!

  4. Ayodeji

    May 5, 2011 at 6:43 am

    Another unlucky girl who falls for the very handsome guy and gets burned. I wonder how girls get back at guys like these……and she gave her all tooo…all the licking and things, explicit stuff sha!!!Good one

    • Kelvin

      May 5, 2011 at 7:43 am

      Hahahaha…”Licking and things..yes o!”..thanx

  5. kechilauren

    May 5, 2011 at 6:47 am

    Me too..inspector kechigadget!.lol.
    Nice read.but sad story.”The tears in his eyes salted the popcorn”.ha! Eww!.I feel sorry for whoever is going thru this. Do I hav any advice for u? No.u know ur self, do wht u can in order to get bk control of your life!
    God help u!

  6. Annie

    May 5, 2011 at 6:47 am

    I relate & then I unrelate. 😀 lol, seriously sha…it’s good. Now I wanna c the other side of the coin…shld make interestin readin esp considerin that I AM gonna b jst a li’l bit biased…
    In other news, hurray 4 wordpress! I can comment wiv my fone! Yayness! *dancin round*

  7. MzzShadyy

    May 5, 2011 at 6:47 am

    Hmmm!!! Raised eyebrow*

    This is getting interesting…post 2nd part sharply!

  8. piriyecaleb

    May 5, 2011 at 6:48 am

    Ahhh!! Another ‘online love’ gone sour. Trust me, we can all wear ur shoes and relate to it.
    Beautifully portrayed!!

  9. miafarradaily

    May 5, 2011 at 6:49 am

    Bloody hell! Brilliantly written. Raw and real. Advice? CHIN UP! Whoever HE is, he’s not worth it and you will get over him. You always do.

  10. i too have fallen

    May 5, 2011 at 6:49 am

    I can so relate to this, everything happened except the sex part, I think that’s where I come in lucky, tho I was willing to gIve it up to him, I wanted him to be my first!!! I saw all the signs, the sexy and lovely tweets at other biatchs, I know your handles, dnt let me site u guyz at any twitter party oooo!!!him changing his dp to d pic of all those gurls, and me forcing myself not to ask questions… I saw the signs and thank God for frnds who set me on the part of moving on… I still see the tweets, we chat once in a wyl, mayb dats me still hoping…but I want to let go of all the feelings I ve for you wit u in sight, I want to prove to myself that I’m capable of it just the same way I fell…

    Slimsiren, I dnt ve words… Nice work!!!

  11. warrisurown

    May 5, 2011 at 6:49 am

    Hmmn! If no be say this kain thing dey do me, I for talk say na ogbonge film trick. I jam person wen I gbadun for but becos we been too far, na wetin make us respect we sef be that. No be small thing o

  12. @Jacy_luff

    May 5, 2011 at 6:50 am

    Woooowww!!! I luv dis post– a true reflection of wat happens on twitter & @SlimSiren, d character portrayal ws perfect! Lukin 4ward 2 d next scene…

    • Ada

      May 5, 2011 at 9:31 am

      Thanks dear…and oh, it happens soo often!

  13. cecenostockings

    May 5, 2011 at 6:54 am


    Firstly, the character portrayal by the writer was brilliant. I can really feel all the emotions and all those senti-senti things.

    For the actual person who went through this, I’m going to risk sounding insensitive. She should know better than to expect anything serious from someone she met online. Yes, I get how the sweet IMs and DMs can get to you, but seriously! It’s the internet. Twitter oh! With all those thirsty human beings!! Haba! And the guy was putting up pics of diff girls? All the signs were there dear.

    I truly empathise, and it’s sad that it happened this way, but it’s like I said – really should’ve known better.

    Again, kudos to the writer.

    • Kelvin

      May 5, 2011 at 8:06 am

      tnx so much Cece…but my underlying question is..this can happen anywhere right? Is it synonymous to Twitter alone? Is it the location or the person involved?

      • cecenostockings

        May 5, 2011 at 8:49 am

        Well, I think it’s the internet. It hardly ever happens outside there. All these online predators. I always tell my friends not to get too caught up because it’s all fun and games for some people.

  14. lauryn

    May 5, 2011 at 6:55 am

    A̳̿ ‘Y’ enclosed in A̳̿ bracket won’t do dis piece justice…. Internet ‘predators’ n their sweet words…. Smh… Lovely

    • Kelvin

      May 5, 2011 at 7:56 am

      Are you calling me a predator, lauryn? Ah well..scene 2 shall reveal..thanx hun

  15. Mabooboo_

    May 5, 2011 at 7:05 am

    This has to be fiction. The writing is raw, but the subject matter is laughable at best. I can’t sympathize with the main character in this story. I guess there are people who actually go through these things, but I think it takes a certain lack of self-esteem and hideous desperation to “fall in love” with an “online twitter profile” in three weeks. My 2 cents.

    P.s, don’t slit your wrists. 😉

    • Griffin

      May 5, 2011 at 7:24 am

      You hit the spot. *appluase*

    • Kelvin

      May 5, 2011 at 7:53 am

      Fiction? Nah..its as real as the fact that u posted this comment..
      Ah well, I really do see your point. The quest to see who’s behind the ‘handle’ yeah? Its just sad when peeps don’t know where d lines shd be drawn.
      Tnx and aunty if ure reading this, “Don’t slit ur wrists, carrots are better!”

    • @Qurr

      May 5, 2011 at 8:23 am

      LOL! Mabooboo, ever emotionally pachydermatous!!! 😀

      • Kelvin

        May 5, 2011 at 8:26 am

        Pachy-WHAT??? *faints*

  16. thetoolsman

    May 5, 2011 at 7:16 am

    hahaha.. lemme quote the mallam.. “Dis is not a post…dis is not a post…” (it should make the news)

    Siren, chop “knoku” for this and Kevin… I’m sure you’ll soon be summoned to the ‘brothers council’ like I have also been… goodluck..

    • Kelvin

      May 5, 2011 at 7:48 am

      Uh Oh! If scene 1 can warrant a summon, scene 2 will probably call for my head!
      Well, I’ve lost it anyway, so *shrugs* that’s not my ‘headache’ lol
      Ha! Thanx bro…rly appreciate u

  17. naijabelle

    May 5, 2011 at 7:19 am

    Hmmm….u fall in love wiv a guy on tweera?…well,it has its advantages and disadvantages…the only thing i have to say to her is, she should have been wise enough to know that de guy in question just wanted to have fun and not be stupid enough to fall for him….i mean the signs were all dre and she saw it..diff gurls as DP on BBM? And she persevered?….*rme*…niwas,it can happen to anybody sha….so,pull urself 2geda…shit happens,buh dsnt stop u 4rm living

  18. Griffin

    May 5, 2011 at 7:19 am

    Wow! I’m more than impressed. Great Story build and brilliant exposition on the feelings of the character. I’d love to see what scene 2 brings. But I dare say, why fall in love on twitter…its all fun and games not where the heart finds a soul mate.

    • Kelvin

      May 5, 2011 at 7:46 am

      Oh well, bruv…I do know of a twitter altar based couple. I think the key word here should be ‘maturity’…the location of a soul mate could be anywhere. In this occasion though, it definitely isn’t on Twitter
      Cheers mate..tnx 4 stopping by

  19. zetsu

    May 5, 2011 at 7:31 am

    Nice write up…very expressive with a dash of sensuality…

  20. eagiddy

    May 5, 2011 at 7:40 am

    Isn’t it funny that we meet such people and the thing is we girls keep falling for them…I can so relate…cnt wait 4 wats comin next.

  21. Em4Mario

    May 5, 2011 at 7:41 am

    Well written, extremely so.Sadly, Silly is the most friendly word to describe the subject of story. It’s a pity that people still allow their hearts roam unguarded, especially in cyber-space.

  22. yippykayyee

    May 5, 2011 at 7:42 am

    Damn! Hell! Crap! *sigh*

    @slimsiren great work with the tone of the text, job well done conveying the emotions… That said… Again I repeat Damn! Hell! Crap!

    You will be fine whoever you are. As long as there is a tomorrow I swear you’ll be fine.

  23. Ada

    May 5, 2011 at 7:42 am

    Aww, thanks guys…thanks to Kelvin for letting me invade his space…

    What can I say? Loving the comments and opinions. Can’t wait for scene two.

  24. phoenix9ja

    May 5, 2011 at 7:43 am

    Why do I feel like I know who this “Dizzle” is.

    Hehehe *sealed lips*

    *runs off*

    • Kelvin

      May 5, 2011 at 8:02 am

      Ha! Last time I checked, I was Dizzle on the #Penis Monologues sha :p
      Well let’s see by tomorrow..

  25. @Qurr

    May 5, 2011 at 7:55 am

    Brilliant storytelling. Very well done, @SlimSiren.

    Kelvin, are you the one writing Scene 2?

    • Kelvin

      May 5, 2011 at 7:57 am

      Err..I think Dizzle is…:)
      Thanx for stopping by bruv!

      • @Qurr

        May 5, 2011 at 8:22 am

        Oh you are welcome. I asked cos of your reply to thetoolsman and lauryn. Collaborating on such articles can be fun. Point of reference: Ms_Dania and JibolaL’s Side street series. Now looking forward to part 2.

    • Ada

      May 5, 2011 at 9:58 am

      Thanks Qurr :). Really appreciate.

  26. Rytar

    May 5, 2011 at 7:58 am

    Boy am i waiting to see how it goes….heheehhe

  27. eagiddy

    May 5, 2011 at 8:00 am

    Falling for a guy anywhere has its downsides and yes twitter is all fun talk and stf but do u really pick a place to fall for I mean if u meet him at a bar,fall for him and if u meet him on twitter don’ ur feelings dnt pick a place dey just pick a person,so I dare say why not twitter..I knw peeps who met on a social network and they still high on d love..she just picked the wrong dude.

  28. adahna

    May 5, 2011 at 8:01 am

    And yet people say twitter is not serious….BEWARE OF TWITTER LOVE *side eye* ….!

    • Kelvin

      May 5, 2011 at 8:15 am

      See dis pot! Sorry party cooking pot calling hot plate kettle black!

  29. joanne

    May 5, 2011 at 8:03 am

    Lovely! Brilliantly written!!

    But seriously? “Falling in love” in 3 weeks!? Who does that? Worst still online love…*sigh* I dare say this isn’t love. Infatuation perhaps, lust most probably…but love? Out of the question! But the deed has been done. She alone has the power to get herself out of what she put herself into. Nevertheless this “Dizzle” isn’t worth all the drama. Move on, Mr Sizzle might just be around the corner 😉 …my 2kobo

    • Kelvin

      May 5, 2011 at 8:11 am

      I hope Mr Sizzle doesn’t Fizzle after a lil relationship drizzle…
      Hehe! Tnx jo..and yup! She alone has d power!

  30. amymuses

    May 5, 2011 at 8:06 am

    Like seriously!!! Really girls should learn! Romance is nt dat simple really and hw can u jump in2 bed wut sm1 , ok ay dnt want 2 b judgemental bt gurl , Hez nt worth it, Trust me!
    My advice is brood, cry & GET OVER HIM
    Hey Kev, Great piece,!

  31. amymuses

    May 5, 2011 at 8:08 am

    Like seriously!!! Really girls should learn! Romance is nt dat simple really and hw can u jump in2 bed wut sm1 , ok ay dnt want 2 b judgemental bt gurl , Hez nt worth it, Trust me!
    My advice is brood, cry & GET OVER HIM
    Hey Kev, Great piece,!
    Waitin 4 d update

  32. bukiola

    May 5, 2011 at 8:16 am

    I cnt relate @ all..she fell for sm1 on twitter….im sorry to say but dts gross…no reasonable chic does that.She forgot the first rule ‘fall in love wt ur brain first while u keep ur heart safe’……….All i can offer her is face wipes to clean her tears. Btw…nice post Kev!

    • Kelvin

      May 5, 2011 at 8:21 am

      Oh! I totally disagree, again I say people find love anywhere..its not the location! Or is it..?

  33. @osinubi

    May 5, 2011 at 8:21 am

    You did promise the next one’ll be serious…
    Good, sad post.
    Watching out for (as our nollywood ppl’ll say) for part 2

  34. freshprinz

    May 5, 2011 at 8:25 am

    EWWW…tear-salted popcorn for lunch, tear-salted and sweat-flavoured creamed nuts for dinner….DISGUSTING!!!!!

    And to think that

    As pathetic as this post may seem the sad fact is that its real. it happens on a regular basis. If u haven’t experienced something like this to at least some minute degree then u obviously have horrible avatars/FB profile pix/BB DPs…lol

    So next time u see dat smart, witty babe with a hawt avatar on ur TL, resist temptation, DO NOT click.

    • Kelvin

      May 5, 2011 at 8:53 am

      U wanna spoil market abi? Oh! We’ve done that already…
      Experienced ashewo like u!

  35. SlevinCalevra

    May 5, 2011 at 8:26 am

    SERIOUSLY, Great write bruv! I think you can fall in love anywhere, all depends on the maturity of the characters involved. Having said that, i must say social network sites are like e-whorehouses. Face it boys and girls alike, we all crave shagging that fine boy or busty gal on our TLs. Like now, i know uncle Kelvin right here must be gerrrrrrrrrrrrin it toh bad! If not u r a weiist brah…lol. I’m still looking for my first twitter experience though, she might be the ONE. Great job @slimsiren and sorry for the gal involved. She’ll find another who’ll love her for real.

    • Kelvin

      May 5, 2011 at 8:50 am

      Gerrrriiiin it? Haha…we shall find out tomorrow..and ayam not a weist *evil laff*

  36. lepahtohbahd

    May 5, 2011 at 8:31 am

    Its sad to know that girls still fall prey to these pleasure seeking bast***s(pardon ♍γ̲̣̣̥ french).†ђξ pain of rejection can be very difficult to deal wif,bt sitting in d sun crying isn’t gonna change d past.In all,a very beautiful write-up…great job slim!

  37. SlevinCalevra

    May 5, 2011 at 8:46 am

    But Kelvin…this post! You will hear from us.

  38. @IvyOrji

    May 5, 2011 at 8:46 am

    Deed has been done, get up, dust ur ass, think of his disgusting sweat u tasted, shrug and move on cos dere r so many good guys out dere even on twitter.

    And to those sayin u can’t find true love on twitter or cyber space….FA FA FA fowl! I am happily married to some1 I met via cyberspace. Love doesn’t chose where 2 appear. Even @ Yaba left dere is just has to tread carefully!

    • Kelvin

      May 5, 2011 at 9:14 am

      Yes!!! She’s married to her man and they met online..ure encouraging me jare..

    • Ada

      May 5, 2011 at 9:26 am

      Well said…hear, hear!
      Twitter is like another bar, another church, another wherever-you-meet-loads-of-people…
      The quality of the soup depends on the nature of the ingredients, not the location of the pot.

  39. Keyzer Soze

    May 5, 2011 at 9:02 am

    I read this and feel somewhat guilty, shrugs!!! Not this bad jare, some guys don’t block out completely like that.

    Secondly, an off topic question; can Okafor’s law still work for Mr. Dizzle with this babe?

  40. chinnydiva

    May 5, 2011 at 9:03 am

    Hmmmm! *hits palms together* ehn eh!
    Most of you are calling her stupid for finding love on twittter,abeg wake up o jare! You that fell in love with that your family friend you’ve known almost all your life who left you a month later for ur friend,are you any better?

    IMO,luv,like heartbreak can happen anywhere,has nothing to do with the circumstance(s) surrounding your meeting.

    @slimsiren,what I would do were I in your shoes is delete everything that reminds me of him-pictures,num,etc. Surround urself at all times with bubbly friends, have a blast and party like a rockstar. It’l be hard but u’l eventually forget.

  41. Sherry

    May 5, 2011 at 9:06 am

    Errm ok. This post. I can def relate. I fell in love w/ sm1 on twitter. Totally messed me up. But i’m not talking 3wks. I’m talking 1yr and 3mnths. Advice: get sm1 else. It’ll totally help even if its just a sexbuddy, at least the sex should take your mind off.

    • Kelvin

      May 5, 2011 at 9:10 am

      Oh wow! Comments anyone?

  42. pheary

    May 5, 2011 at 9:12 am

    The girl.. #DatGirl… why would she do that…. comon..she should v known better…. oh well d guy is a BadGUy….. Kudos….. d girl should just forget about him…. atleast when she did it…. she had fun…so no regrets…… I pity her sha #Np Bleeding Love…… Nice nice nice nice……..

  43. ibetapassmyneighbour

    May 5, 2011 at 9:16 am

    He without sin….and in their minds they re casting their 50kobo coins…bloody liars…..
    Good write up siren…I totally relate cos I met ds guy on twitter and he’s d best f*ck I eva got like we wnt like 10rounds dat nyt…wild beastly sex…n I don’t regret it at all…….thank God 4 twitter…plus he tot me 6 new karma sutra styles…now my husband aint gon suffer wv missionary and doggy!

    • Kelvin

      May 5, 2011 at 9:22 am

      Ghen Ghen!Don’t be exposing me like this, we said we’ll keep it lowkey..

      • Adahna

        May 5, 2011 at 10:35 am

        😮 😮 :O

    • kitkat

      September 3, 2011 at 5:47 pm

      Kwaa! tell me more! :p

  44. ibukun

    May 5, 2011 at 9:28 am

    very good article..sad to say she was quite unfortunate i mean most girls would fall prey to this same scenario…nice guy giving you all the attention u want…but once in a while yall should take a pause and ask youselfs why me?…then you would realise its just a matter of time before he disapears…and if he doesnt den u cn gradualy get emotionally attached.. the lesson is never rush,,let time tell.

  45. ibetapassmyneighbour

    May 5, 2011 at 9:37 am

    Lwmawucl (laff wan make arsenal win uefa champions league)

    U ke??? U wish!!!……uve forgoten all chicks *re jus ur friends*…..

  46. Sherry

    May 5, 2011 at 9:37 am

    When do we get to read part 2 btw?

    • Cobb

      May 5, 2011 at 11:39 am

      If you read “scene 1” you’d know. 😐

  47. Delphine

    May 5, 2011 at 9:39 am

    Interesting stuff…
    Well penned, Ada… Thumbs up.

  48. Cobb

    May 5, 2011 at 9:56 am

    Good job with concealing identities.. Well, not really. Scene2 waiting.

  49. Cobb

    May 5, 2011 at 10:06 am

    By the way Mabooboo & Em4Mario posted the only 2 comments I’d agree with.. Sad fucking times!!

  50. BuddahPest

    May 5, 2011 at 10:06 am

    Firstly, every single being is prone to falling sexually in lust with someone depending on how their hormones react at the sight of that person. I have gotten down with responsible girls in serious relationships all because the adrenaline rush they felt towards me was uncontrollable. So it has little to do with the place, environment or period of the occurrence but a lot to do with the two people in question.
    My advice for her is to go out a lot or always be in the midst of extroverts and she should never ever be alone with the guy again cuz it will always lead to a REPEAT session!

  51. esuga_suga

    May 5, 2011 at 10:10 am

    Waow! Nicely written. Its hard keeping a relationship with someone u met in real life talkless of the internet…its harder!! Only about 10% of internet love works out. Too many factors are involved..and most guys on twitter are not serious minded in terms of relationships,they only see the girls as toys. I pity her though,it could happen to anybody but she will definately get over him. I believe love could be found everwhr but u have to be doubly sure,which is really hard to do.Ladies:keep that firewall on!!!

  52. eRobot

    May 5, 2011 at 10:13 am

    Damn, dat’s real deep! Nice post, too bad for d person who’s hurting. Pple always fall for all dat “Mr. Charming” crap.

  53. @jennyphar

    May 5, 2011 at 10:26 am

    Slimsiren!! Amazing stuff!! So beautifully written! As for the babe on d story,what was her name again? @ifeomatics? PLEASE DO NOT WRITE HIM A LETTER! No matter how hard it is for you to stay away from him,please do…he already showed you how much of a jerk he is,you don’t need any other confirmation…. Move on please..

  54. eagiddy

    May 5, 2011 at 10:29 am

    People no go kill me,wth these will be easy for us to point an accusing finger bcos u haven’t bin dere but love ehn is like hot shit worrying u..sometimes u cnt just control d shit…but true I guess we can slow it down a lil n just let time tell.@ibetapass… Hahaha..enjoy o.@ivy at least we have seen proof dat it happens..some girls are stronger dan some,bt wth the right dose of attention,aFfection,sweet talk n a lil somthn any girl cld fall..we say hw cld she shag a guy she met on twitter afta 3wks..look arnd u,hw many of us ve shagd on our first dates(u can put dwn ur hands now),its nt impossible jst bcos u ve not done it.

  55. toju

    May 5, 2011 at 10:32 am

    D first time I’m seeing ur poetic side. Nicely written as usual.

    • Kelvin

      May 5, 2011 at 10:40 am

      It was written by @SlimSiren o! I think my poetic bones have rot away..
      Tnx tho.

  56. musingsofagidimallam

    May 5, 2011 at 10:51 am

    *grabs mic*…aii…so I’m back now…(Gen gen)
    It’s simple tho…d moral of d story is watch urself…before u fall maga for an internet luv master…*drops mic*…

  57. HUGOverified

    May 5, 2011 at 11:04 am


    • Kelvin

      May 5, 2011 at 11:08 am

      I don spoil market abi? Even my own sef 😦

  58. cecenostockings

    May 5, 2011 at 11:40 am

    All these comments. LOL. I’ve seen the people I’m looking for sha.

  59. @baybbotz

    May 5, 2011 at 11:41 am

    Ahhhhhhh this is serious. . . I so feel her pain!! I was crying n laughing !!! 😦

  60. BragginRightz

    May 5, 2011 at 11:42 am

    You shd make a movie outta this… All I see is screenplay,that’s how vivid the illustration is.

    *Thumbs up*

    • Kelvin

      May 5, 2011 at 3:22 pm

      Oya, bring marketers and all that stuff. Shooting will start soon, I think I still have a DigiCam

  61. specialeffectz

    May 5, 2011 at 11:46 am

    I can totally relate!!! Good post!!

  62. Andhiii

    May 5, 2011 at 12:42 pm

    *Sigh* Another Victim.
    Wel, it’s only a matter of time before some of us girls realize that some of the boys on twitter are just looking for pussy. She’ll get over it. I hope.

  63. nessa

    May 5, 2011 at 1:35 pm

    He obviously fucked you my dear gal cos if u fucked him like a spartan chick na only ur pic Im go dey use as dp inshort na u go dey block am for all d sites cos I’m no go fit belleful of u. but gal 3weeks u don dey fall in luv?u sure say u no get malaria? Its seems ure naïve but its in d past nw move on no go kill ya self for 1 useless boy wey no deserve u.nd e be like say u too dey watch all dose Mexican soap opera guys r nt like dat in real life,its nt good for ur emotional state of mind.

    *now LOL*

  64. thelmatweets

    May 5, 2011 at 1:53 pm

    Beautifully crafted. I read it thrice-so thrilling*

  65. @Emmayonce

    May 5, 2011 at 1:54 pm

    Sigh! *Deep Breath*. This is one sad but ”BEAUTIFUL” write-up. For a moment, I thought I was reading a Novel. @SlimSiren…..Awesome Piece! #Pause====>>To the said ”person”, I can’t say i feel a caustic shame for your act for delegating your HEART to a nincompoop like Mr Dizzle. You fell in Love and you can’t be fault for that. But, if you had weighed his level of MATURITY enough, you would have known he’s nothing else but a carnivorous animal in form of human looking for who to devour. #Play====>>The Car had tangled. The bananas, given to the monkeys. Stop pining/crying for him, he’s not worth it. *Adjust your halo, Serve yourself some sundae, Smile :), play some music and dance your HEART away*. No worries, you’d be Just fine! My 1cent. #CatWalksAway

  66. JADE

    May 5, 2011 at 2:08 pm

    Err…I just wanted 2 read without commenting but now I find myself typing away, powerless and a lil shaky.
    Yeah I can relate. All those saying d girl was dumb 2 have fallen 4 a tweep in 3wks r u kidding me? U do realise u open up better thru written convos and imagine a guy who’s all understanding, caring and shit. Always wanting 2 listen 2 u,making u feel lyk ‘yeah, this guy gets me, no one else sees me d way he does’.u share amazingly common interests, his attention’s solely on u,he makes u feel like d fucking queen of d world and THAT is what we all want…we all crave attention, 2 be THAT important,how cldnt she have fallen?

    Sadly, in life, shit happens,don’t fight it,release it, wash it away, pick urself up and move on…u don’t want it smelling after u…it gets better

    Eagerly awaiting scene 2…very eager

    • Ada

      May 5, 2011 at 4:00 pm

      I love you for this!

  67. ibetapassmyneighbour

    May 5, 2011 at 2:56 pm

    I talk my mind..person say enjoy….forget it! That guy gav me an experience dat satisfied my starvation….its a year now and ds one we have about 15days to d end of d world….I fnk am headin bak to lagos to rejuvinate for heaven!!!

    • Kelvin

      May 5, 2011 at 3:10 pm

      #lowkey…I’m in lagos o!

  68. nneka

    May 5, 2011 at 3:37 pm

    Wow!!!!!a very good read I must say…but is this really a true story,cos I must admit I did feel her pain,a lot of ‘us’ have fallen into this illusion and actually thought we found the ‘one’..we might not have gone far into the ‘relationship’ but we met someone online,connected with the person…suddenly they vanish!leaving the other person confused and lost… I hope she can get past her loss whether it was real or fake…

  69. ibetapassmyneighbour

    May 5, 2011 at 4:04 pm

    Buahahahaha……dat awkward moment when am giving you that earth shaking bj and d trumpet goes off and rapture takes place…*….I stil wana make it to heaven..but may 22nd wnt be bad…*winks*

  70. hisnameisay

    May 5, 2011 at 5:26 pm

    *clappin* vry nice, Slim bigupsss…… kevin *sighs* waitin fr you sequel tmao ooo…to d ladi in duh stry, well to d lady in d stry..thats abt the worst he can do,… shk it off life goez b hnest its easy to punch the keypads n type this worddz dan it is to actually act a blogger I knw once sed [sandie I dnt mention ur name ooo] time doesn’t heal it justs helps u to my dear, flow with d tide of time and allw oda people in…..nice one once again..

  71. kblewin

    May 5, 2011 at 5:49 pm

    oh well…. twitter is sha becoming something else o…. but seriously, while i feel for her im still like, Online love?? seriously?? i mean, after just 3weeks?? i somehow get falling for some1 on our beloved twttr, for i may have taken that plunge myself(i think), u were a lil naive to fall totally and to open ‘it’ for him so quick. afterall, twttr for the most part is make-believe… maybe its cos im a guy and im an ‘innocent’ sha *coughs*

    of course what do i know?
    anyways my dear, thats life for u. Shit happens. Life sucks. when u cant do nothing bout it, u move on. simple. LET HIM GO. he aint worth it

    @slimsiren u r good. Very… #thumbsUp

  72. anita foy

    May 5, 2011 at 5:49 pm

    awww! touche.. i feel ha pain tho. see shld just try n 4get d bastard, he sure as hell dsnt deserve her. its so obvious he wantd ha 4a fling notin mur. its easier sed dan
    done buh she shld 4get d bloody hediot. he’s not man enuf.

  73. MsAbiye

    May 5, 2011 at 6:38 pm

    *sigh* Beautifully written.
    She’s just another victim of on-line-romance-gone-wrong. The best thing to do is try to move on.
    Nice blog Kelvin.

  74. @nikkymandy

    May 5, 2011 at 6:51 pm

    Wow a friend told me twitter is deeper dan we think….I tot it was a joke….chei I piri her sha…ladies shine ur eyes na…..btw, fantabulous write up

  75. Mz Dimplez

    May 5, 2011 at 7:07 pm

    Lord have mercy. Explicitly written. Now i ask myself if ds is gonna happen to me cz m in love with a guy i met on twitter. Lord plz give her the strength to move on.

  76. J_Wellings

    May 5, 2011 at 7:17 pm


  77. it isn't wat u really want

    May 5, 2011 at 7:38 pm

    don’t worry b happy lord will provide anoda

  78. ladyxiso

    May 5, 2011 at 10:16 pm

    *sigh* its amazin how most girls still fall 4 such…smh, she jst has to move on

  79. @nikkymandy

    May 5, 2011 at 11:03 pm

    Wow a friend told me twitter is deeper dan we think….I tot it was a joke….chei I piri her sha…ladies shine ur eyes na…. be careful …..btw, fantabulous write up

  80. Kleopahtra

    May 6, 2011 at 5:38 am

    I can totally relate to dis,cos my fwnd met her bf on twitter n i feel afraid 4 her evryday…But dey avnt met yet.evrytym i c dem chat i always hope he is dat sweet in prsn….GUYS if u MUST do ds,let her knw its a fling 4rm d start…Dis things happen Everyday.I jus pray n hope She finds sm1 else dat wld make her 4get she met dat Jerk!. I really feel 4 her. She shudnt blame herself.
    As 4 d xter portrayal….twas excellent…i Felt evry emotion…
    Awesome read i must confess…

  81. The Stig.

    May 6, 2011 at 5:44 am

    *sipping Mojito* I don’t know why I always thot @ibetterpassmyneighbour was a guy… Unless its actually a guy o_O

  82. common sense

    May 6, 2011 at 5:46 am

    The secret world of DMs… Mine isn’t clean either!!! I was a prey, it lasted 4 mnths, moving on is easier said than done, but babes u’ll b fyn…

  83. a_lil_xtra

    May 6, 2011 at 7:13 am

    Nice one,Siren…had 2 see dis one b4 lukn @ episode 2…
    I kinda relate to dis sha..didnt fall in luv with him tho’,jst madly in lust..i had to stop myself frm goin thru his TL each time i got online,n frm feeling jealous each time i noticed he’d changed gf’s btw us hasn’t hapnd tho’..honestly dunno if it will,or if it should…dis is a good lesson anyway..thanks,Siren..
    Now on to d next one..Kev,u rock jor.. :*

  84. blaquewood

    May 6, 2011 at 9:12 am

    Dis is an eye opener, this post couldn’t have come at a better time

  85. mo'

    May 6, 2011 at 11:59 am

    @Silmsiren beautiful piece weldone @kev weldone too.I have never seen or heard any social network relationship that goes beyond the sex..which is sad.anyway the earlier she gets over it the better.I know its not easy but u have to move on stop beating yourself up get going and move on with your life.

  86. Ms_stephydiva

    May 6, 2011 at 1:59 pm

    Wow……n dey’ll say twitter isn’t dat deep…my heart goes out 2 d babe in dis mehn…buh…truth be told u gotta start treatin dem guys d way dey treat u..if he’s fuckin up fuck him up…no tym 2 get all mushy 😐

  87. Xorra!

    May 8, 2011 at 12:46 am

    I agree with JADE, anyone can fall for it. Don’t think ur own brain is more mature than everyone else. 3 weeks, 3 months, 3 years.. It doesn’t matter.
    Just because you hold out longer than her doesn’t make you better.
    When we fall in love, we rarely see the bad signs, we just fall. Its when we are trying to get up that we realise all the signs we missed. I imagine her seeing all those pictures on his bbm and being in denial, it was probably just 2 or 3 different girls but now she’s hurt and she’s punishing herself, imagining it was 20.
    I’ve crushed on a few people on twitter, luckily I’m not single so I make sure it doesn’t go any further.
    But SERIOUSLY! If I was single? I’ll be writing a book by now “SEX IN THE TWICITY” LOL

  88. wf_SimonSEEZ

    May 8, 2011 at 3:54 am

    Guess am one of the few who read scene two before this….personally, the answer to all of this wasn’t even in the post, it was in your comment..’the ingredients in the pot is what makes the soup sweet not the pots location.’ ..we can’t really determine where n how we fall in love but at least we can determine who we fall in love with…nice writeup Slim…thks Kelvin for sharing Ur space

  89. kitkat

    May 11, 2011 at 11:29 pm

    wow! i cant say i fully relate but to an extent i relate. I feel so bad for the girl cos i know how painful it is to see that one special guy turn his back on you and focus on other chicks. Especially when u were genuinely convinced he had feelings for you.
    At the same time, i feel like she shoulda been more subtle bout her feelings for him. No guy wants a girl that appears desperate. She met her online dude and had sex with him that same day?? and she had jst known him online for what, three weeks??? he musta sensed she really digged him. And no guy likes a girl that isnt a challenge.
    Nice story, and @slimsiren is a beast at character potrayal!!..i’m impressed 🙂

  90. Leen

    May 14, 2011 at 12:59 pm

    Dis is rili touchn..just snap out of it,uld be fine.. 🙂

  91. highlandblue

    June 17, 2011 at 10:38 pm

    I love your piece SlimSiren. Girls are very deep in fantasy and stuff. Its even possible to agree to marry someone u met over the internet without even meeting him! And really, guys just run out of emotional steam once the physical part of the relationship is over with. Its a hard lesson, but yeah, keep sex out of it till there is a firm commitment. Maybe I’m old-fashioned, but I think guys have it too easy these days and so they act mean. The blocking stuff was especially painful. Hugs dear, I hope you’ve recovered.

  92. shettoo

    July 5, 2011 at 12:22 pm

    Kudos to @slimsiren for perfectly portraying the character.

    While I empathise with the victim (if am allowed to use the word)….I feel she should have seen it coming, the signs were there for her to see but I guess her feelings made her blind to these things. Advice: Take heart and move on.

  93. fairies dont tell tales..

    July 9, 2011 at 12:16 pm

    Sigh…such intoxicating love, such obsession!!
    I sympathize wit u ..seriously deep dwn, ukne ds ws hw it ws gna turn out, ujus din wnto accpt it.
    Well if its a consolation ihear dt heartbreaks R amngst the major source of death_ so ur gna suRvive ds yayy!! 🙂

  94. iamsamsie

    July 10, 2011 at 7:48 am

    dear slimsiren what a brave lady you are chronicling your story of ill fated love to you and setting p to mr dizzle for the world of us all to hear.
    i stronlgy believe you didnt do this for revenge purposes.
    in the depths of pain and despair this may just have been ur of catharsis.
    like everyone has said the signs were there.
    Right now u are blaming mr dizzle but remember u played a role here.
    U can kill him for being a silly fool throwing his sperm everywhere and thinking theres a prize for having multiple flings.
    be consoled tht he will soon get penile warts via hpv or something more sinister.
    his sins will definitely find him out when he wakes up to realise he
    has used himself while he thought he was using u or anyone else.
    When he wakes up empty and his soul shared into a hundred pieces.
    or u think he doesnt suffer from some form of self esteem issues to be such a weiistz.
    as for u dear slim,u deserve better and start by telling urself that.never get carried away.
    Never….love means he has proven himself
    to be worthy of u..anything short of that is genital infatuation.
    So kindly see urself as far above his immature 5yr old soul and get on with ur life.
    no be today guys start to decieve themselves say them clever.

    • slimsiren

      August 27, 2011 at 1:37 pm

      Aww, thank you…
      but this isn’t my story. I was just giving voice to someone who carried the pain.
      Thanks all the same, though. 🙂

  95. Wiz

    July 11, 2011 at 9:38 pm

    Guess it’s safe to assume Dizzle=David,and this story isn’t fiction!three weeks tho?hmm….

  96. chillysauce

    September 3, 2011 at 3:02 pm

    within d space of 3 weeks, u’ve already slept with hi?? little wonder it didn’t last. If u want a lasting thing, play it d lasting way.. harsh but its a fact

  97. Madu henry

    September 3, 2011 at 4:48 pm

    i can smell tweetoracle all over this blog 😐

  98. chiamaka

    September 3, 2011 at 4:58 pm

    Awwww!! This is sad :-(…but fact remains that if he is for u, he will be back n after all life Goes on & there will be sunshine after the rain…cheer up

  99. @firstbizzle

    September 3, 2011 at 5:12 pm

    Beautiful write-up

  100. twaicee

    September 3, 2011 at 5:14 pm

    Serzly,I jst think d beginning sounded a lil bit 2 fictional! I cn relate 2dis tho! We can never b 2 careful,all dis dudes hidin behind avatars,handles nd tweets… Ơ̴̴͡ well Ơ̴̴͡ well,sad story! It won’t b easy 2 move on but dats d best thing she cud do,trust ♍ƺ! 😀 Dis is lyk a mini Daniel steel… Interesting read,bt sad as heck! Nycly written!

  101. kunle

    September 3, 2011 at 5:17 pm

    wooow mr dizzle na very sharp guy looking forward to scene 2.

  102. kelz_modudu

    September 3, 2011 at 5:17 pm

    Mr dizzle u b bad guy jor, nyc 1, ehen @d seatn in d sun bitch, Abeggy gan hang urself!! So cuz a guy did enriques’ one night stand for you, you want to kill yourself, mssschew, ur lucky he didn’t tell his sister to call u nd tell u his dead, abeg 2moro put on d oven nd lay dia since d sun aint workn

  103. mz_puzo

    September 3, 2011 at 5:28 pm

    All those BRB’s and never coming back. The different beauties on your display picture every other day. Why wouldn’t I get worried? They were each more beautiful than I was. I was jealous of every one of them, I wanted to rub charcoal on their wide toothed smiles and scream, get your filthy hands off my man!! I had to cinch the deal…yh I relate with this,I loved it

  104. okikiola

    September 3, 2011 at 7:01 pm

    Lool we all can see that ‘twitter is not just a Social Network’, we can actually live here, meet people here, love people, fuck people, scam/dupe people, block and dump people, take heart hun 🙂


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